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calm down they say  you are fine they say   Stop. Stop feeling this way  and you will be okay but how?  How do I stop my brain    from spiraling out of control
I was used to the struggle, the suffering, the pain and disappointments that life kicked out. I thought it was expected to feel neglected, rejected and best to just accept it than let hope replace doubt.
How much time have I wasted throughout the course of my life? It’s as if every meaningless action carves away at my will with a knife.  
The misery of war lies a heavy burden on my psyche Every night, I question who I am and why I’m here, despite My family’s need and my desire of adequacy
For years and years I was filled with fear
My life is like a Hepburn Rose. Unknown and just as pink as innocence itself. I never understood how life could go from easy to difficult. I couldn’t take the purple bruising pain.
I apologize My self-consciousness is heavy My pride is immesive And as the years go on, my happiness has only gotten more expensive  For you, and only you.
Some days will be submerged in Déjà vu. Others will be as dark as the thoughts she’s trying to shake. One-minute white pure light surrounds her, the next, hot flames burn throughout her body.
Sincerely, the rejuvenated people. This is a letter to self. This is the bulldozer for self-hate and poor reflection.
  To Aliza Le   I remember, sister-- The boys who used to pick at my sexuality like daisies
There she stands On a precipice—the steepest in her mind, Overlooking wrong and right; What is true, what is false; What can help, what can hurt
Constantly in pain My own thoughts driving me insane Life is just a drain But the misery is only in my brain   A family that is perfection Offers me protection I am the infection
He, She, and Everything in Between
The descending sun casts brilliant hues of orange and red across the sky
I got three legs. I lost one in a brawl I realized as I stood up so shaky I thought I might fall.   Happy, I yap. You had just walked in. And exactly the moment you saw me 
Myself: who am I? Should that be a question or an affirmation? Who I am... is wonderful. I cannot be anyone but myself.  It is funny to wake up every morning being the same person...
I spent so much time growing up That I forgot who I was What I wanted And all that snuff. I went ahead and did things Some of them I'm proud of, Many of them I'm not.
Without sight or scent;Formless; Lacking frameYou none would dare rejectBut neither could they claim.
I will not say sorry.
Look at those matted strands upon your head Spots on your face like a dalmatian Your knees knock knocking while you clamber  down the street  You ! Yea you  I see you 
Lost in a world of rules. Lost in what is said to be cool. Voices screaming how I should be. Voices constantly telling me. Lost looking for the light. Lost in an endless fight. Realization of who I should be. Realization that I am me.
It come in an array of body sizes with a structure capturing other ethnicity eyes. Although in a negative disguise, a black woman’s butt was seen as a disgrace. Now look all over the place.
Oh this skin of mine So silky and smooth Deep reddish brown Stares it ensues These eyes of mine So deep and so brown Don't stare too long Or in love you will drown This hair this hair of mine
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