I was used to the struggle, the suffering, the pain and disappointments that life kicked out.
I thought it was expected to feel neglected, rejected and best to just accept it than let hope replace doubt.
To once have - then lose - the hugging, the loving, seeing the fun in this life as others live it now…
To have had that intimacy when a brother was into me, digging me, may have thrown me for a loop somehow.
But I didn’t see it coming: my heart jumping and humming like a drum in the wrong place in the middle of a musical score.
It was totally unexpected that I could feel this rested, free to just let it – let me just express it – my sould drifting out to sea but always coming back to shore.
Through soul-searching and self-discovery, I uncovered me.
Though first unwilling, I find it thrilling living independently.
My reliance just on One, not his earthly sons, but on Him who cares, shares and repairs what broke inside…
I found strength in my aloneness; it took some boldness but now I own it and have no cause to hide.
I went inside myself and came out flying, determined and trying to let go, make a difference, start anew and do something.
I found my voice. I had no choice to go it alone, but with Jah’s help, I found my home and I never saw it coming!