suicidewatch
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There is yellow caution tape
around my wrist. It is the only
thing that stands out in this pristine
white bathroom that feels more like
Not because your fingers don’t twitch as you shove them in your pockets, hungry under the nails for my skin.
Smashed down in a box is a smothered tulip.
No one knows who put it in there.
It can breath slightly through the cracks in the cardboard.
It sees a mere glimpse of light.
Wish Someone Taught me, How To Save a Life
2/11/2014
11:00 AM
It starts from a little bit of devastation...
"You're too close," I told him.
"You're so close, I hear you breathe, I see your fears, I hear your heart.
When times are hard and hopes are low,
Let the wind blow,
Let your emotions out,
If you want you can even shout,
Run free and seek,
A great destiny,
The sadness will leave,
Oh my...You said you just wanted to get highBut now it's like you need something more to get byFirst a pill now it's some kind of white powder
it's like a battle feild out here
stray bullets everywhere
but its like there all aimed at me
i dont understand why
the silly thing about it is
they expect me to fall
they want me to give up
The question we always ask in retrospect is why?Why did he write a note to which we couldn’t reply?She never expressed a single pain or tiny sign,While repeating the empty phrase “I’m fine”.
I pick up a gleaming bladeA blade that calls out to meIt coos to me sweetlyAnd it needs me again todayI lift it up to eye levelAnd see inside what I want
She was
bullied.
She was teased.
Ugly, slut, whore
They said.
She
was suicidal.
She was extremely unhappy
and wanted to give up on life.
Then.
She found happiness.
People saying that it will get betterWhenWhen will it get better?Living through hell each dayThey don’t know what they are doingAnd it gets better?
Pay attention, you need to know this.
Sit up, It's disrespectful to have your head down when I'm talking
Why isn't your work done?
Tears streaming down his face
He reaches for the belt in his closet.
He looks up at his ceiling fan.
“Will it hold me?”
No.
He reaches for the open razorblade on his wardrobe.
Long days,
Even longer nights.
Momma workin' overtime just to keep the lights.
Dads gone,
Don't give a damn really.
It's survival of the fittest in this big city.
You see me walking in the halls,
I dont know why you make me fall.
On the inside and out you break me down,
But they still treat you like the class clown.
Its not funny the way you make us feel,
Today was the day,
Where you decide you didn't want to stay,
you have fought so hard,
Today you finallyput down your guard.
Too bad it was too late,
Way, way too late,
They tell you that they got you,They tell you that they're there.You smile with ease,lie to yourself,"Man i dont gotta be scared."
i need to see the change is the world
i need to hear more of the unheard
not everyone is recognized
but more of people hiding in disguise.
i want to see more happiness
and more people who forgive and forget
What if the truth,
was really a lie?
What would you say,
if I told you that's what I live by?
The lies are only there,
there to hide the pain,
the sorrow, the sad,
the everything.
I tried to write in a smile,
but it ended up a frown,
I tried to write it upside right,
But it ended up upside down.
I tried to write it in like summer,
but it ended up so cold.
I counted to ten,
I'm done! Where are you?
I can't find you...
Will you come out soon?
I miss seeing you,
Hearing your voice.
I miss being with you,
Hiding wasn't your choice.
A room full of students
different and unique as can be. Laughter can be heard from all directions,
like thunder rumbling in the distance. As you move closer, laughter turns artifical.
I'm so sick of it when people
put you down.
Who do you think you are
? Stop it right now!
Will you listen? Just once
im finally able to speak, senior year is here
its fmally here, my chance to take the stand
my words will be heard
im here
ive been here
im not leaving soon
There is a reflection of pain in her eyes, as she fights back tears.Trying to figure out why she has put up with it all of these years.Innocence gone.Just taken away.Struggling to deal with it & be free someday.
Something shivers in a deep dark corner
Next to it are bright red eyes
It is a she
She is a young lady
The bright eyes are Loneliness
Loneliness is keeping the young lady captive
Walking in and feeling alone
Tears streaming down my face
Will they care?
Hell no
Why would anyone care about me?
Then he walks over, caring eyes
“Come outside with me”
She
the tears burn as they fall from Her innocent cheek
they cut through Her innocent heart
they run down Her innocent body
She soaks in a pool of despair
So long for now,
till we meet again.
together forever,
you are my bestfriend.
my heart is breaking,
tears are now falling.
You had to leave,
because heavan was calling.
shut them out, as I suffer to breathe
Where are the words?
Can we talk instead of scream?
My opinion remains unheard
The violent escapade
on the frigid ground, I laid
he charged at me,
I am just ordinary, she
is so extraordinary
more than she can ever,
ever imagine.
When we met, we were lost
like bees trying to find its honey
we were lost.
Why would you go and kill yourself off? You're beautiful, you shouldn't get hurt,
Let alone punish yourself for the wrong doing of others. What they do should not control
mocking me, judging me
laugh laugh laugh
hurting me, killing me
stab stab stab
if words dont hurt you?
why am i bleeding so bad?
trying to recover
but im halfway dead.
As I sit here staring at that picture so soft in my hands
I can’t help but think when it will end
The memories all rush back into me like smoke clouding my lungs
If I die today
would you remember me tomorrow?
If I dropped dead
would you give a damn?
If I stopped breathing
What the hell is it?
First, you want me to raise my hand in class
Then, you want me to particapate less
Now, you want me to completely shut up?
What the hell is it?
Please hurry up
Make up your mind
I want you to see me,
I want someone to know my story,
But there’s no one,
Just empty words and empty stares,
With empty love and empty cares,
I sit alone and am alone,
Just one person to listen to me,
Wrap your fingers around the bottle,
another sip,another swallow.
Try to keep your shaking hands still,
as you try to down the pills.
Welcome to the land of numb,
nothing hurts,nothing's fun.
Strong enough to stand alone in a blitz
Bombarded...
Deception after deception after deception
It will never stop
It will never seize
It's life's cold hearted tactic made to rid of the weak.
17 and scarred4 years of a hellGroup of friends to hardly none
Drama spreading faster than wildfireKnives sharpened and reused on someone else's backBlame being pointed everywhere but the source
When someone commits suicide,
All the secrets they tried to hide,
All the guilt they tried to subside,
All the hurt they tried to bind,
All the people that were so blind,
Hello who ever cares
Enough to read this note
I may be dead
By the time this is read
But no one really cares
I wander through life
Marked by words and scars
I am not strong.
When everything in life goes wrong,
When everything in life crashes down,
I drown
And shrink with shame,
As I attempt to control my emotions with pain.
Put yourself in my position.Look at life, through my dead eyes.Listen, from my ears, to your own lies.You see her, don't you? A girl so broken that every Word spoken, are Cries for help…
Your world is closer and closer to falling apart,
I can see it in your eyes.
You are scared of what they will do
Watch as he writes the note
Watch as he puts it in the envlope and writes mom on it.
Watch as he ties the noose
Watch as he second guesses his decision
Watch as he puts it around his neck
she falls off the moon,
she carries her wings,
she fights with herself,
she's dying to please.
she knows every word,
she's heard it before,
she's not what they want,
Momma use to cook for me before i went school
She use have to wake me twice before I finally woke
She use to say no grumpy morning was her only rule
She use to make me laugh with her old Knock knock jokes
Hushed voices. Everyone turns. My name still in the air. Spread rumor. Everyone believes.
Ignore them. Walk to my seat. Throw myself down. Head on desk. Let it all out.
As I lay there thinking, it all turns black
I think to myself there's no turning back
I scream and I cry and I try to move
But what was I thinking, there is nothing to prove
I cannot help but to criticize
Depression is a disease that sucks the blood from your veins Leaving a corpse to roam that has forgotten its name Emotionless eyes show a soul that's holding in pain Walking a path down a road just searching for a end The next bus could be their e
One too many
Two too many
Three too many
Stop
As she stared into the glass mirror seeing nothing but a worthless reflection
One too many
Two too many
Is three too many?
Stop
You said
You promised
(Cross your heart
and hope to die)
That you would never tell
That I was the one who took the last cookie
that day
in Kindergarten
Because we were
Free me from these labored breaths
These pins and needles in my chest.
Free me from the need to decide
To stay or leave you with the falling tide.
How fleeting is this "love" we share,
