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I got so tired of people giving up on me
That I learned to believe in myself
Got so tired of my world falling apart
That I learned how to hold up the sky
I got so tired of the rainy days
I know you are not here for me
I kneeled and prayed to the trees
the trees only my lips had kissed
whalst you kissed her silhotte
she was missed, but not quite gone
You had known me long
Sitting at low tide amongst the creatures of the world underneath my lungs
Staring into the unbreaking blackness of the air hung in smoke
My eyes a lighthouse that gaze into the unknown reality
I thought it was love
that fleeting look of appreciation in your eyes
made me feel like I could be enough
why did it take me so long to realize you lied?
I wanted you to love me
no, I craved it
My vision darkens.
My stomach churns.
My heart races.
You saw my pain but you used me anyway.
~awatr
You are what made me.
You are what brought me to my knees.
You are what rose above me in triumph.
You are my downfall.
I am what made You.
I am what made You able to tower high above me.
I loved her, she said I convinced
Her otherwise
That broke my heart
Was she my sweetheart?
I’m not sure..
Do I still love her now?
Of course I do, but I was a fool
Tear stains
underneath her eyes.
Sick of being used
for the things she hates
about herself.
“Why do you fall so hard, heart?’
Why do you trip
falling downhill
I would never believe that the first thing
I thought about you
Was in fact
The only thing I now think about you.
You used to roll your index finger,
Slowly,
Definitely at me,
Almost saying,
“They lied to me!”
She screams to herself.
They promised!
That they would be there for her.
“It’s okay.”
I can still feel it.
The way your lips touched mine.
Without meaning.
Without feelings.
I missed them.
I lost my best friend. One person I could tell everything to. One that would not judge or laugh at me. Now we have not talked... I lost my best friend in one day. Why did he leave me... Was I not good enough... Did he find someone better?
I'm being used and I know it.
Still, I let them do it.
They need me for their purpose and I can feel it.
Still, I let them continue it.
Our relationship reflected a love song.
Full of laughter and joy.
Then you did me wrong.
You used me like a toy.
Played with me a while then let go.
We were young.
And now I'm here to let you know,
you grew flowers in my lungs,
and although they were pretty,
I could hardly breathe.
you’ve built parts to me I didn’t know could be built
but now that they’ve been torn down,
it was here that I fell in love
trapped in the salty waves, burning my skin with the most gentle touch
ripples that altered images dancing in my vision
from an emerald sea to the clearest blue sky
Everyone says I need to get over you But I can't seem to convince myself were throughWe're doneWe're overJust wish I wasn't sober Wish I could delete the thoughts From my headBut somehow
Let go the emotions
Let go the affection
Tell me you love me
tell me your personality
i admire your humbleness
your smooth words is what im craving for
you talking in my ear makes me feel some type of way
It was bliss in the start,
it was only you I gave my heart to.
You thought I was a fool,
Now I don't know what to do.
It was you that I turned to to keep the pain away.
The way you look into my eyes shows your hunger.
You don’t want me.
You want my body.
When I see you my brain activates fight or flight.
I used to think I was drowning in an abyss of my own loneliness. That darkness used to consume my heart and soul. My eyes would continue to close as my head dosed off in an eternal slumber.
Just when I think i've had enough you pull me right back in,
Oh, how your fingers on my skin are almost as sweet as your wicked kiss.
Honey, why do you stay with her when you dream of me?
No more, shall i wait for thee.
2011: It was my first day on the job and as my eyes scanned the room for my next
victim, i found myself fixated on you. Our eyes locked; you smiled, and I
If I were said to be anything
I'd have to be a crash test dummy
I have honor to the front seat
Of everyone else's mistakes
I get to see the explosions
First hand
Forget my own happiness
Over the course of time
I’ve caught a couple knives in the back
From a couple friends
I thought it was kinda weird how they thought
It would feel good
No sense in giving when you never get back,
It's hard when your heart's always under attack,
So you give and give until you crack,
Wind breaks my chest as you continuously blow me away.
There’s something inside of me seeping through the gashes of your comfort,
Telling me that the cracks within your embrace
When you feel weighed down
With arms and legs made of lead,
Back broken,
Bent over backwards,
Spirits crushed like old soda cans,
But you still say things like
"I don't mind"
You
Stole from me something important
Before I could understand to cherish it
You
Lashed out at me
For my overwheming emotions
You
Made me become
Hateful of myself.....
And once again
I'm given the chance
To live my weekend
To that dance.
We all know
How last time went,
My reputation
Is a little bent.
So easy to go
With DJ,
I wish I had
Yeah I never never know,
but it always goes to show
that I'm not you.
Oh yes it's true.
And you never never know,
but it always goes to show
that I'm just me.
Oh can't you see?
He loved me once
Everyday he told me so.
Anytime of the day it didn't matter.
Right there beside me or
There in the middle of the day.
space between us grew bigger and bigger
The rope tore against my skin
like tiny hooks dug into my flesh,
peeling back revealing yellowed paper bone,
it happened again.
this time i was sober.
which makes it worse.
but whatever.
it was a little different.
this time.
you called me.
wanting to talk.
so i came over.
All I wanted was to feel wanted.
I thought you felt the same way, but the feeling wasn't mutual.
If anything, it probably never was.
Out of it all, I was probably a piece of ass.
Momma always told me, "don't let then walk all over you."
Why is it so hard to say no? It's shorter than yes, but still hard to be told. I go,
but I can't go for long before I'm reeled back in to be drained some more.
You took it
Didn't even have to ask
No persuasion was necessary
All I had to hear
Were those three words.
Desperate to believe
I listened and gave in
To an unasked proposition
This is bad
I feel like I’m slipping.
Back down the dark hole of no return.
I don’t know how many more times I can do this.
And manage to claw my way back up.
Victim
Used by many
Left by some
To all spares every penny
But has ears from none
Caught up in a journey
Though it's just begun
Behind every smile there's pain, the hurt of not being pretty and used.
The pain of only being wanted for what's low.
Everyday theres a cut in my soul, then the tears start to roll.
As my spirit seems to wander past every thought I had in mind,
I find that those around me are running out of time.
I am falling through the crevices and holes in their stories.
Life is a pair of black corsets, fishnet stockings and cheap lipstick,
suffering from the intoxicating riches of each breath.
and in the midst of it all is a shadowed wrong turn,
in which my legs keep gliding through air.
The best pair of shoes, that I ever did lose, fit on my feet, like paper to glue.
The best pair of shoes, that I ever did lose, frayed laces abound, yet I did not peruse.
body of a goddess , roses melt at her feet . Her body says it all so she doesn't needa speak . she's intelligent not a soul will ever know , her name doesn't even matter cause she's known as a hoe .
Every night I lie awake,
Unable to go to rest.
Every night I make choices,
Choices that change my life forever.
Every night I think of my mistakes,
You look at me
And what do you see,
Some ‘confidence’ and ‘empathy’,
So you waltz right up expecting me
To be your loving Savior.
She dances! She twirls!
This amazing wind up girl!
Come one! Come all!
To see the painted smile doll!
Put your order in today!
We’ll send her, no delay!
The price is really not that high!
I'll remember this next time,
Next time I won't fall so hard.
Next time I won't cry...
Next time.
I'll remember this next time,
Next time I won't step up so quick,
Next time I won't ask...
Always wanting something for nothing.Playing mind games and whining;While you lay all around the houseCrying and screaming.Sometimes something isn't hereBecause you haven't done anything
thanks again for feeding a child grownwith your acid samplesand gold-flakes.
good-to-know there's time after allin the day.
Wings clipped, hope busted, dreams shattered,
My cage is worn and my clothes are tattered,
I’ve reached the end of my rope, I’ve lost,
This used to be bubbly and warm, now I’m frost,
If I could be anything
I would be a book
Filled with adventures
Dashing heroes
Brave heroines
Cunning villains
There are always
happy endings
and fairytale kisses
You exhaust me.
That hardly describes it.
I wish there was a better phrase for putting my emotions through a spin cycle.
You didn't even hang me out to dry.
If this is living,
I'm not sure if I want to live.
If only I could move.. just get away,
but I can only go where I am taken to.
No one seems to like me and they seem to think
THE DEFINITION OF A PUPPET IS NOT THE MEANING OF ME, YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN PULL MY STRINGS AND MAKE ME DANCE AS YOU PLEASE, I'M A HUMAN-BEING WITH FEELINGS AND YOU JUST CANT SEE, ITS ALL SAID AND DONE NOW THAT'S THAT, MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIND A PUPP
I am NOT your Toy.
My body is NOT
ball jointed plastic limbs
bendable for your covetous cock play
Astounded
By your lies.
Can’t think straight
Devouring your promises
Entire days burned by what you did.
Feeding off my purity
Get out of my head.
Hating you
Is becoming easier.
I need relief
release
to let it go
and be set free
I need the pain to fade
the confusion to vanish
but most of all
I need you.
Down on my luck
Out of my mind
What's going on?
I've lost track of time.
Where do I go?
Why can't you stay?
It doesn't make sense
these words that you say.
What's this I hear?
Do you know what it's like
To be an outcast
Caught somewhere between
Wanting to fit in
But not will to be
One of them?
Is this what it feels like...
to break?
It's not as painful as I imagined...
I feel so numb.
I don't feel anything anymore.
Even the hot tears don't exist.
If I were to be perfectly honest with myself, I would have to say too many dead bodies fertilize my mind’s garden. Every nook and cranny between the roots is filled with soiled insecurities.
An item brought out to play
An item pushed away
Never for long,
but the feelings are always the same,
Strong
Remember the light remember the world?
Remember the precious little girl?
Do you remember the peace we had?
Do you remember when we wearn't sad?
Do you remember the beautiful blue skys?
