Here i am with my sleeves in my pockets and my pogo-stick like faith

Teetering between reality and what i want to be

i find my heart from time to time sitting on my stomach watching it's favortie movie staring you and me

your footsteps ring in my ears like a fat lady singing in an opera

the vibrations awake every last bit of hope i had for us and sends them to fly free in my stomach

i get jittery as the familiar smell of you tickles every last fiber in my body

the sweet smell of use to be

my knees turn to quicksand and i sink into the floor

my hands clasp together smushing every doubt or assumption i ever had to words you

and i speak. i yell. i breakdown. and i rise.

Here i am with my sleeves in my pockets and my pogo-stick like faith

teetering between reality and what i want to be

I tripped today over you're pile of nonsense you so willingly left behind

as i stood up i looked into my palms only to see my rose-colored glasses had been broken

shards of “i love you” “i'm different” and “No one fits me like you do” laid there waiting to be buried with the rest of your lies

i don’t know what disgusts me more.

The fact that you knew you had my heart on a leash and you played fetch with it continuously. just for fun. just to see me come running back.

or the fact that i let you.

the fact that you stood behind me nudging me to cross the bridge to your heart only to close the gates right in front of me or

the fact that i let you.

the fact that you led me through the dark promoting unconditional love and companionship was waiting on the other side only to fall short.

or the fact that i let you

Here i am with my sleeves in my pockets and my pogo-stick like faith

Teetering between reality and what i want to be