' 'fear' 'lost' 'heartbreak'
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You probably arent going to see this
but I notice the way you look at me when were only a few feet apart.
I notice the way you look me up and down but yet again were only a few feet apart.
Slowly losing the smell of their hair
Slowly losing the touch of their skin
Slowly losing the sound of their laugh
Fighting to hold on to the last memory of joy
Amidst the blur from the blue lights,
And being dragged along in the constant race were forced into,
A brief moment of solitude and comfort emerged.
How can someone whos so close feel so far away?
The distance is growing more and more every single day,
but nobody is moving.
Slowly losing sight of what used to be.
How was someone who's so close feel so far away?
The distance growing more and more every single day,
but nobody is moving.
Slowly losing sight of what used to be.
The last memories of joy and happiness holding on,
Wishing you could still see how they're doing.
Longing for the touch of their skin.
Hoping for one last goodbye that never happened.
Not understanding why they left you so early
I'll never forget when you wrote yourself into my story
Abruptly creating a soulmate who wasn't meant to be.
Unexpecting the new chapter to appear
I was taken off guard and slowly put into a trans.
Hesitating washing your sheets to not get rid of the smell
Longing purging your room of memories
Pictues of moments you wanted to never end
Now become the source of pain.
Not ready to give up hope of a fresh start,
Sickened by Grief, Pain, Loss, and what could be.
You think everyday gets easier to let them go, but
It's not letting them go that gets easier,
It's letting yourself live with the small reminders of what could be.
Fixed with a soft touch
Ruined by a harsh word
Melting with affection
Stone cold from loss
Ready to love
Ready for Pain
All I wanted was to be by your side
All you wanted was to be by yourself
I wanted to grow together
But you Needed to grow by yourself
Slowly falling apart
Sacrifice is love
Sacrifice is selfless
You sacrifice for love
But when you need it the most
It suddenly disappears
And you're left with nothing to sacrifice for yourself
This ain't about you!
Ok, maybe it is.
So many thoughts are rushin'
Sweet jelly, my heart is gushin'
I get it, you like him
But you snipped my flowers stem
My blossum is on the ground
This ain't about you!
Ok, maybe it is.
So many thoughts are rushin'
Sweet jelly, my heart is gushin'
I get it, you like him
But you snipped my flowers stem
My blossum is on the ground
Broken
That’s what they call it
As if it were a bone
Or a toy to be played with
Disposable
As if my heart weren’t a muscle
But I don’t feel broken
I feel whole
Fully and completely lost
if you loved me then why pretend i know you thought we were destin to end
,with everytime i hear your name reminds me of the good days
i thouht i needed you in my life
turns out you were a waste of time
if you loved me then why pretend i know you thought we were destin to end
,with everytime i hear your name reminds me of the good days
i thouht i needed you in my life
turns out you were a waste of time
Dreams of deceit and rejection haunt my sleep
The push/pull of love and hurt has settled so deep
My heart is shattered,Broken pieces on the floor
There is a weakness in me.
A small glint
of a child not yet grown.
It lives in me,
And everything I am;
everything I do.
Raven wailed tears of ash
Circling above scorched path
Wings of molasses , hearts gone glass
Seething on dissonant past
It’s breath is smoke ,
and so it chokes.
It sobs a song
I am suffering
in ways no one can see and
won’t say.
My heart is crying
but my eyes are dry,
My mouth spits venom on his name but.
I feel sorry for him, I loved him.
He liked me.
I close my eyes.
I lean back.
I breathe deeply, in, out, in, out.
I let my heart beat slow.
And I’m gasping for air.
Coughing, sputtering.
In the midwinter a dazzling storm,
left only to feel, the here, the now and the gone.
A hazy mirage not so hazy, not so mirage.
Stood still, dim and harsh-
Not a glimpse nor a single word
Through the whole ride, was ever done and heard
Her eyes bleared and visions blurred
Heart beats rapidly recalling all the high that now were low.
Its raining, I'm dreaming, of being with someone. Or is it just the music clouding my mind, And my tears resulting from the lightning and downpour coming at this time.
Broken boy
who revels in pain
lives a life
where only pieces remain
Fragments of what he was
of all he was meant to be,
“she’s never coming back”
that’s what i was told
last night by the moon
she whispered it to me
voice like honey
words like razors
Emotions, feelings, pains of the heart
All words in which I'd like to part.
Each only causing unnecessary stress
But yet I don't long for it any less
Why are things so gray?
Why wasn't I enough to make you stay?
I set off on Voyage
At two thousand one seven
The mast went high
My thought would have never
I thought the wind came safe
Smooth sailing was here
Until it happened just as I had feared
JanuaryI came up coldWith thoughts of growing oldSee there was this man I lovedBut as it turns out I was meant to be unlovedTears fell like the snow all around meMy family just told me to breathe February
Lost but in control.
Looking into your eyes,
Still searching for a soul.
You're just an illusion,
That made me believe that you were real.
To be lost
and to be found
to wander
and wish
to sleep
and lie awake
i spend each moment
of all my days
wondering if
you breathe me
in and out
of your lungs
That bottle sat there half empty,
atop my dresser where you left it.
I often looked at it with envy,
knowing that it touched your lips.
Some told me that the bottle was half full,
My heart has fallen
My brain inoperable
My tears are frozen
My heart has broken
the smallest words will cut me deep
The sun will always rise
The sun will always set
The clouds will always clear
But the storm's not over yet
You will hide me in the shadow of your wings
You will keep me as the apple of your eye
in darkness, we found solace. you recognized my confusion, and i understood your pain. we shared misgivings about our purpose in life, and the way the world should be. your tiny blue bedroom was our haven.
Right now I am staring down
Barreling down
Hurtling towards
The same story and the same mistakes I have made for the past four years
I know how it ends but I don't know
Your unsatisfied heart couldn’t keep me,
I held on as long as I could,
Reaching blindly in the darkness,
I tried to grasp fistfulls of your sweater, but only ever grazed the fabric,
I am alone.
Twisting and turning
my heart is burning.
I pick myself up and
stop sobbing my mother
said. I’m on the phone.
I opened up, I let you in
No matter the mistake nor sin
I sacrificed my dark nights and long paragraphs,
My giggles, “scuffs”, and laughs,
for someone who might not last
Sadboi
Write I love you in ink
Cause my heart ain’t so pink
She tore me in half
Sat back there and laughed
Doomed from start, we played our part,
Two young hearts shall fall apart.
Work of art with all the smarts,
You’re perfect but you’ll depart.
You made me tall as a wall,
You showed me love I recall,
Your hands, once so tender, Now touch my skin with the heat of burning coals. Scorching and radiating through out my bones. Everything has changed.Your heart chilled, hands ablaze.
You stayed;
You left;
Like allergies in the spring.
After flowers came and went,
so did you.
The festival came too late.
I didn't even get to celebrate you.
You have no idea
You painted me out to be desperate
But theres a difference between desperation and being hopeful
I waited for you because I was hopeful not desperate
I was hopeful for us but I didn’t need us to workout
Sometimes it’s expected and you see it coming
Other times it’s out the blue and takes you by surprise with little warning
By the long term companion or a random one off the street
Both hurt eminently
Life is not giving us all that we need
It’s sometimes hard and difficult…
I'm asking myself
What would my life be If he was here?
It’s question without answer
Because he is not on my side
I got a question if I may
how can you deal with friends this days
cause if you come to see now
how our relationship gone
how our old friends turned on
all relationship now is gone
when my mind is quietmy heart erupts emotionsit's pain erodes the mind blocksand gives me whiplashit subjects itself to neuronsand interlaces by craftmy heart befriends unspoken dialogue
i gave you everything and it still wasn't enough.
you made me feel like i was nothing.
made me believe that i was difficult to love.
and like a fool i kept trying,
You began by holding my hand
destroying all my obstacles,
holding me when I couldn't stand.
Though it began with late night scary dreams,
for which you were prepared;
How different it is to go from one place and be so invisible, then to come to another and suddenly be the bell-of-the-ball.
How different it is to go from one place and be so invisible, then to come to another and suddenly be the bell-of-the-ball.
They talk about you as if your a bad seed
But I see everything about you so beautifully
They say your menace and a thug, but you just want to be loved
I feel like I am drowning. Silently burning underwater
every time I try to breath, I remember
I must conserve my air.
Force it back.
Stay alive for just a little longer.
I wish I could take it all back
Every gesture
Every hug
Every hand holding
Every touch
No matter how simple, i wish I could take all back
From the very beginning, leave no evidence of the inevitable
Pale skin like cream
Brown hair like coffee
Smile so sweet
Sugar would be salty
You’re my caffeine in the morning
When I look into your eyes
Robust like hazelnut
I’ve spent many days contemplating
The words to say to you
But the words are stuck in my throat
Trying to escape
Day after day
Forever broken by your lies and trapped inside your eyes. Forever a prisoner of your lips, please, just a kiss.Forever I'm yours through bad weather, tied by chain tether.
You say that I never tried, there goes my pride.You say I didn't open up, really that is enough.You say I didn't trust you, do I disgust you?
These thoughts that lingers in my head I cannot explain
Only These thoughts are encrypted by him himself
He who’s not powerful or mighty
But me who’s brittle and broken
