insane
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It’s easy to become addicted to love you know.
The intoxicating heat and electricity snaking its way through your bones
And reaching your eyes
The flash of hazel lighting streaking across your eyes when it does so.
Within a minute you are quick to claim your fame
In another moment you completely disowned it
A rebel driven by the devil words of wisdom questioned
A world full of deception
Within a minute you are quick to claim your fame
In another moment you completely disowned it
A rebel driven by the devil words of wisdom questioned
A world full of deception
That time,
when it's not really night and not really day
That time,
when you're not really here and not really away.
That time,
when it's not all laughter and not really all goes to waste.
I lay here as I think..
A dream, of another of me awake.
I look up at the ceiling. Pictured. A smile on your warm face.
How could I be so lucky, yet so foolish with my ways?
I try to rest.
To see another day.
To be truly helpless is a commitment .
Were all born more or less equal ...
Yeah , many rightfully disagree .
Come on , give me a starting point here .
So , you shit the bed once or twice .
Dear mom,
I’m tired of your games,
Tired of you telling me that I will never make it.
You never know my true thoughts
And I refuse to share them with you,
I’m still lost,
Inside my head.
I’m still lost,
Within this dread.
I’m still lost,
Leave me alone,
I’m still lost,
Tread lightly,
For this is a realm of darkness,
A realm of pain and fear.
It traps and breaks the unwary,
Then leaves them lying dead.
Fear…
A shadow in the closet
A growl beneath the bed.
Fear…
Anything unexplained
A brain beginning to snap.
Fear…
Everyone has demons,
But mine are different.
They feed on my pain,
And play with my sanity.
They jump from shoulder to shoulder,
Every time I close my eyes,
A star explodes inside my mind.
I see the ones I’ve lost,
They’ve all left,
At the highest cost.
This exploding star,
I can’t breathe right,
My fingers twitch uncontrollably,
People keep on speaking,
They act like I’m okay.
My brain feels like it’s breaking,
What's wrong
Am I ever gonna move on
I know I'm strong
And I know somethings wrong
But I don't know what it is
I feel like a piece of shit
Because of this
Its like a pain
Can I just die
'Cause I'm having trouble survive
I'm getting tired of this strife
I'm In so much pain
Its insane
I'm getting tired of the strain
This stain is like a forever burning flame
It's as if the breath that i was holding onto,
For a mere 20 seconds,
Was life giving me the chance to take a pause.
A pause from this mad world.
It's as if the breath that i was holding onto,
For a mere 20 seconds,
Was life giving me the chance to take a pause.
A pause from this mad world.
Can you take my crazy?
Can you understand the voices that can't help but put me down?
Shun me from my self, turn my smile to a frown
You call it disorder, I call it a hoarder
Keeping so much of what it doesn't need
My mind was not quite right,
my thoughts would give me a fright,
grabbed me a journal,
made the thoughts external,
and now I'm feeling alright.
Why must I delay my cause
No one here, knows my sorrow
I’m but a man with no laws
My sanity I borrow
I’m a sick and twisted fool
The letters that he wrote me are from a
ripped out pages of his notebook.
The edges are not jagged ,
they are soft like flower petals.
Maybe you only call my eyes
Beautiful
My heart flutters and drops in the same second. As my imagination runs wild in this madness I call "my mind", to contain my uncontrollable laughter and aggression is a challenge that is tamed daily.
It started early today with her ear-splitting nagging
Her purpose is to obey me, so I retaliated with slapping
Jabbing with a screwdriver she miserably misses
It's hard to see how close we are to the edge.
We'd be dead with just one step.
Just one move--we'd lose our way.
Every day, on the brink of insane
A fragile line to separate the sides
How much longer can I hold on?
Hold on to this reality,
The smiles that I place
On my usually tiered face.
Hold on to this image that you see
A confident girl that is happy.
A sword flashes through my sight
Blood flying from its blade
I’m entranced
It’s beautiful
I stand slack
The image firm in my mind
All I can try to do is run
But running will get me nowhere.
It gets me a load of tired and hunger
Things opposite of what I want
What I want is to run without the fatigue
Runing without fearing what's ahead.
I'm tired of all these morons acting like a philosophic class
These people, more like sheeple standing lonely in the aftermath
Thinking if only they can get the holy that is up for grabs
We all get screwed up in the end.
Life screws us up.
We all face our own battles.
Wage our own wars.
Concur our own enemies.
And fall down at our own turns.
"The best of us fall sometimes
The strongest lose their minds
The warriors break through binds
Guided like we wear blinds
But the chaos is in our minds
We change but not in time
clink
eggs crack against the bowl sky blue
broken shell shards like glass
the thin line we walk so high
tightropes of minds stretched across infinity
or not
contrary contradictions
Its Insanity out there, in the world, in this society we know, we love, we created.
That we allow ourselves to be hated,
by each other by others by something we created.
my nihilistic tendencies
the possibility of what i could be
a monster faded from the truth
listening to the loud loud boom
rocking back and rocking forth
which way is south and which is north
Here I am yet again.
Looking for a payout for college
For education, for knowledge
For a job, for a career, for more money
Spend money to make money.
Its money this and money that.
I wish I could be like a melody
My mind and body beautifuly in harmony
Instead it's a clash, a bang and a boom
My body falling heavily while my head is above the moon
Everyday feels the same,
like im going insane,
trying to stay in this game,
No one knows,
what I dare not show,
And no matter where I go,
You are there,
showing you don't care
Her name
Was Insane Jane
She was insane in her brain
She was always afraid of being on a plane
Her Brother Wayne
Was always a pain
And walked with a cane
I know that you have been locked in there
Where? You can't tell, locked is all you know
searchng for closure
searching for a sign
put wanted posters on billboards
hoping it would catch someone's eye
"watchya looking for, lady"
someone replied
yelling over my screams
Things like this don’t go away
The sadness builds as you try to be strong
Some days you can’t even get out of bed
You don’t tell the ones you love
If you do they get mad
Like it’s your fault you’re sad
I've got you in my bare hands.
Yet it's as if I am at your command.
It's no wonder you have a reputation for being so witty.
You know my secrets and at times they're for you to keep.
I, ego, none of these is
YOU ARE WHAT I SAY
cogito ergo sum,
NO
Multi ergo sunt
Screams can be heard
the obliterate stares of those
who don't have a clue
do they really
do you
The bloody fingernails
scrape the chalk board
and the spine tingling sound
The voices they’re ragingConstantly complainingThey hurt.The soundIt’s all far too loud.I wish,I wish for them to go away.They,They tell me terrible things.
I spend hours writing to clear my brainNothing makes me feel the sameI'll even do it on the trainOn my way to work, or in the rainUnder an umbrella, or even SpainI like to do it when I'm stressed,
Tired,
to even when the pen scratches paper,
an uneven blank etched scrawl,
It mirrors the state of mind,
a crease present now and for all the pages to come,
Over lines and crossing through spaces,
a little girl just barely three,
sits reading beneath a tree,
the other kids scamper and run around,
that poor little girl dares not make a sound,
she turn the page and blocks it all out,
Hamlet,
Love,A Horizon compelled betweenTwo Suns and a MoonTrend carefullyBecause love is yet an eclipse that canDarken your path towards Enlightenment
Free me from living my life in fear. are you with me? did you also witness the things I've seen.
I'm Trying to figure out is it really what it appears to be,Or just my nightmare coming to my reality.
I'm lost in a world that's all my own
and as I stare at the clock it begins to race
not forwards but back, leaving me, in a cloudy haze
I see a familiar face, I don't quite remember, but haunting all the same,
You malicious little thing, you're living in nightmares. Spiders hide in dark in dark corners, crawl out to fill you with fright, dear.
The night creeps up
and it stings because
it reminds me of the things
that we used to mutter and sigh,
laugh and cry
to each other.
The daylight shines out our pain,
Oh, but the night,
Addicted to organization
through words, throughout your thoughts
Addicted " to a certain kind of sadness"
within your fears and your doubts
Addicted to the words that bring you up
Constanly contamplating, consistently innovating
no matter what day, no matter what time
always wanting to be free of thoughts that are mine
these ideas inside my head, wont alow me to sleep
You jetted in and stole my heart away.
Left a hole of death in its flame proof space.
Leaving flesh to lay, burning and decay.
My heart was her: beauty and acid lace.
You had what I wanted and did not care.
This government’s economy has the vanity of my insanity
Givin’ rich kids free rides while they can't even cover my book fee
Financial Aid said I'm too rich to be poor
My skull cracksAgainst the wall atEvery-distinct-slamOf the cell doors.
Patients’ constant banterJackhammers into my brain.
The wailing coercesWith the othersThat only I know.
What I feel, must not be spoken.To assume it tacit, however, would be negligent.If not articulated.Perhaps authored.Drafted.Yes. It seems this outlet will suffice.
Darkess surrounds me,
Hiding all my fears.
I feel its whispers in my head.
People keep pulling,
They do not see,
They do not know me.
The only difference between sanity and insanity is -in
I lived IN your world
I worked withIN your rules
But i was never part of the IN crowd
But now i am
I'm INsane
Only those who have willingly let go
Can see their mind as it leaves
They perceive where its destination lies
While their body’s yearn for that place
They are the first to see the signs
Darkness cages, while canvas white
is his only light as he avoids traces
of human life. He ignores splattered paint, dripping
brushes, and sickening scent of mildew and waste.
~Hell & Back
i’ve seen hell & back
i’ve been through here before
the scars lie on my back
i’ve cried many tears
this isn’t fiction this fact
i’ve lost friends
i’ve gained angels
