mystory
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She is Me ..
The one who didn't understand why she wasn't ever happy ,
The girl who lived her life in constant pain ..
And had to abuse drugs to stay somewhat sane ,
She is Me ..
The one who didn't understand why she wasn't ever happy ,
The girl who lived her life in constant pain ..
And had to abuse drugs to stay somewhat sane ,
Let me take you back to the moment the most important person who inspires me first entered this world eighteen years ago on a late Monday night.
See a couple pills that I just dropped.
Hoping one day.
I’ll confess I finally forgot,
these haunting memories that never stop.
All that helps is these drugs I bought.
To numb this pain I always got.
Life has taught me many things
One of the greatest thing is, it taught me how to be a mother.
Being a mom to two beautiful daughters
Made my life meaningful.
When you look into my eyes, do you see the pain?
Do you hear it in my voice that i've been standing in the rain?
I mean on the outside, I know I smile but can you tell I am far from the same?
I don't know whereto beginJust trying to breatheit all inInside my mind fromdeep within
Your Lungs filled with cement, your feet like bricks.
Your ears, open doors to shameless words of hurt.
Eyes always watching but never friendly.
Tearing you piece by piece,
I would like to tell you that I had an amazing disaster, or that there was an awful issue and that writing became my outlet. But, you see, if I told you that great tale, I would simply be telling you someone else's story.
My hands shookMy heart throbbedThe pressure only increased
I was a storm restraining myself
Straining to be released
Wow is all I have to say
After seeing cast a way
poetry is a way to vent
mom needs help with paying rent
Everything I say is real
words display the way I feel
Writing trying not to flip
When I was younger, I wanted to be an artist.I wanted to be like my sister who made her room her own personal museum of art,complete with a shooting star as her cieling and a 9 by 12 beach to keep her warm, even in winter.
The refrain on my frame
Left many to restrain
Including myself.
Until the doubt cleared
and hope was on set
I realized
There's no bet.
Green, yellow, orange, red
Maybe it was in the way that
You told Aladdin he’d never had a friend like you
Or in the way that
You taught us that even adults can be kids
In Hook
Or in the way that
Abuse is like a dream.
You wake up with confusion.
Wondering why this happened to you?
It seems too bad to be true.
“You’re not in this alone. Let me break this awkward silence…”
Blared loud into eardrums
Eardrums of an emotionally unhinged fourteen year old boy
I started college at seventeen
Not on a whim, on a dream
To show the world who I wanted to be
I was looking for something, something more
Something to show for myself, which could not be ignored
I started college at seventeen
Not on a whim, on a dream
To show the world who I wanted to be
I was looking for something, something more
Something to show for myself, which could not be ignored
I pick up the knife
my beloved dagger dear
and wondered at the truths
it might whisper today.
But as I stare at the polished surface
my face doesn't greet me.
I turn it over and over
a 3 year old isn't suppose to hear her mom running from a man screaming at her
maybe that her brother and they are playing like we do
no that is not right..mommy is crying..why is mommy crying?
DO YOU HEAR ME?
The gym, so musty and cool.
The weights clanging against the ground.
The buff guy, I thought “what a tool.”
The hydraulics hissed, and gave out a sigh.
The tap-tap-tap, of feet on the treadmill.
There he is
Saying he’s loving you
This isn’t love
Love doesn’t hurt.
But there he is
Saying he’s loving you.
You say no
But no means yes
And there he is
Saying he’s loving you.
A sinister presence descended over my mind.
It carved out all light and with it,
My sight.
Tears unabashedly pored from useless eyes.
A master mason began practicing his art.
Pills, weed, drinks and me
Introduced to the devil we danced for a life time
Constantly feeding me pain, sarrow and deppression
As if all my wounds were healed
All my suffering was gone
Let them say I lived in the time of President Obama
Let them say I never faced trauma
Where racism exist but minorities are rising
No matter the task I came out fighting
Pay attention, you need to know this.
Sit up, It's disrespectful to have your head down when I'm talking
Why isn't your work done?
Today was the day,
Where you decide you didn't want to stay,
you have fought so hard,
Today you finallyput down your guard.
Too bad it was too late,
Way, way too late,
I have carried money from Japan, Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, Peru, Korea, and America in my wallet.
Most have never seen more than one type of currency.
I have lived in 6 different homes.
Momma use to cook for me before i went school
She use have to wake me twice before I finally woke
She use to say no grumpy morning was her only rule
She use to make me laugh with her old Knock knock jokes
GEORGIA MUD
I’m from ice cold sweet tea on the hot summers days, little girls selling lemonade on the corner for fifty cents a cup.
As I lay there thinking, it all turns black
I think to myself there's no turning back
I scream and I cry and I try to move
But what was I thinking, there is nothing to prove
I cannot help but to criticize
maybe I am not brave enough to say it
but I have written it and it is your time to read it.
you will learn from the words.
written by those who live amongst you
and from those who wrote in the past.
"I'm grateful that yous was unfaithful, cause i wouldn't have been able
to keep my mental stable and live a fable
with a woman's who's "Slut-Soo-Easily" labeled
