sleepless
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I'm afraid to feel nothing
I am happy to feel tired
If that is the one thing I am
Then I am tired
Say it as my first name
As my title
I embrace the fatigue
I do not want to be empty
I lie awake thinking
While staring at my ceiling
About so many things
To name a few: my day
Tomorrow
The paint chip on
The wall
Nervous pangs and tattering thoughts
The impending terror of my dreams lay before me.
Psychology tells physiology to shut its mouth but biology gives in:
Close my eyes and count to three
The salty liquid rolls down like a water fall,
staining rosy cheeks before falling upon the black sheets.
A fragile silence unbroken remains
as no sound is permitted to escape
the locked up lips which hide away
Reaching out into the darkness of night
I count the flickering stars,
and watch the leaves dance like flames
glowing in the moon's silver light.
The wind runs its cool fingers through my hair,
I know you don’t understand this, but my heart thinks about you literally every second when I’m not talking with you.
On sleepless nights
When I lie awake
I often stare
Before I break.
I stare at you,
Oh ceiling, friend.
I stare to make
The nightmares end.
It's hard to listen fully
To people when they say,
"You need a little sleep dear;
Your eyes won't be as gray".
For how are they to know
What sleep does to my mind,
How I wake up in a cold sweat,
How am I supposed to sleep
when my brain will not shut up?
How am I supposed to shut it up
when I don't even know what it is thinking?
So tell me anxiety what it is that you say,
The clock reads 1:23.
I am still, bathed in the green light
of the microwave.
My mind drifts from place to place
but my body
is stationary.
The clock reads 3:45.
When I'm asleep I think...
I create a movie in my head that keeps me asleep
But sometimes the movies, my mind.....scares me
It's pretty much every night....That's why I sleep through out the day time.
I should be sleeping,
Smiling at sweet and happy dreams,
But instead I lay here in bed,
Anxiously awaiting day break.
I fear closing my eyes,
And wandering into my head
At night
I'm the darkest sky
The stars are my path
The moon is my guide
My mind travels
To far away places
Where my grass Is greener
From the other side
5:35 am
Here I am
Searching
I know not what I'm looking for
But I know
I need to find something
6:17 am
Here I am
Took one notification
To know what I'd hoped I'd find
I do not sleep,
My mind talks through the night
Keeping me up
Until it becomes light.
Perhaps it’s from stress,
Perhaps it’s from dreams,
Not the kind in one’s sleep
But the kind in one’s head.
i feel you
you there scarfing down two muffins at 3 am
i've been you
bloodshot zombie in the white screen light
i understand you
and the tired words your lips can't form any more
eyez bean der twoo
Late one night, tossing and turning, I can’t sleep
A lot on my mind, with no one to wail to
Watching my beam of light, sleep so peacefully
One thought that sticks out with an annoyance
Tick tock, goes the clock, as I'm just waiting
For your mind to click, realize, and see
I want you. I feel the bittersweet sting.
Wish you would feel the same way about me.
even the wildest of us, craving freedom, has broken
alone, the sleepless nights pass so tediously
I fall asleep with wandering dreams
The colors are so vivid; I’m bursting at the seams
I’m walking on endless thoughts
I have a thing for the moon.
I'm scared to go to sleep.
I think I'm scared.
I have to be scared.
That's the only explanation
I'm scared to sleep
Sleepless night and a flickering light
the shadow glares, from above it snares
slow tunes fill this space with nostalgia
For I once counted Daffodils in my sleep,
So delicate and unique.
But no more can I sleep,
For the devil has a hold of me oh so deep.
For I once counted Daffodils in my sleep,
So delicate and unique.
On the nights I lay in bed not feeling tired at all, are the nights I begin to ponder.
Pondering, Pondering, I ponder the night away, not caring that daybreak is close at hand.
That rush you dread as life crashes towards you,
Barreling through with unspoken emotions.
Guilt, remorse, and weariness threads a shadow,
A fifty-foot tower right over you.
Here I sit, ah this black chalice
so alone, and silence embracing my
every thought,every emotion.
3:57
odd time
to be a-
wake.
I lay slowly,
adrifting away-
awake.
the Insomniac beat... yes it
benches and bangs,
an anvil god's trinkets and toys
bring pain-
Sadness floats around me
Hovering
Always with me.
Like mist,
It creeps over me
Settles down and suffocates me.
The fog of depression hides the sight of happiness.
The shadows are dark,
Red hair
White wrists
Pink scars.
Scarred memories
Wounded heart
Broken dreams.
Life of pain
Sleepless nights
Loveless days.
Love wanted
Love needed
Love refused.
Numb is
always my
emotion
I've become
so bland
nothing
effects me
anymore
I only cry
to know
I'm still
alive and
because I
know they're
right.
Get away from me.
I don't want you to visit again.
Last time nearly killed me.
The pain; the crying.
The worthlessness.
A dark hole called home, but it's not even mine.
Not living only existing, no hope, no worth, dealing with what I've been dealt.
Keep it all inside, the words inside my mouth. We'll all be the same, lying in the dirt.
There's so much stress
The last forty days of school
With all of the reports and papers
Books and projects
Filling out papers
Application after application
All asking the same questions
~i waited
patiently…
as if my turn was next
i was just as naive as you
thinking that you were the best
you watched him cheat
but you forgot about the rest
forgave him time after time
Too many decisions.
What decisions are going to make my life right?
Thats all i am thinking about on this sleepless night.
Sometimes i want to give up.
Why cant life be simple?
This stress makes me tremble.