limerick
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There's no more school,
So I'm going to do something cool,
I'll have so much fun,
I just wanna run,
Then I'll get into the pool
There's no more school,
So I'm going to do something cool,
I'll have so much fun,
I just wanna run,
Then I'll get into the pool
There was a rich woman named English
Who used to be very selfish
But she learned a lesson
When she lost all her blessing
Now she’s in the market where she sells fish
One happy-go-lucky senryuWas caught impersonating a haikuThey levied no finesBut deleted two linesNow she's a stick-in-the-mud monoku
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© 2019 Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
Humpty sat on a wall
Humpty had a great fall
He had a big ass
So when he fell on the grass
This brought laughter to all.
Way back in the old days of Limerick,
The town's mayor was not quite so synergic,
So the people decided,
That they wanted to be provided,
With a foundation made of some newer brick.
There once was a man named Daedalus
Known as a dentist of excellence
He sampled some Vicodin
Now he’s imprisoned in
A habit of common excrescence
A habit which started with booze
The monster wanted love from the maidenAnd gold that the townspeople paid himWhen it came time to collectHim the maiden did rejectTo contain his wrath none could persuade him
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At birth I was spanked to ensure breathingLater poetry enhanced life's meaningThe first a violent actThe latter a peaceful factSpecial part of life that keeps me beaming
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There once was a girl last named Sok
Who thought she was smart as a rock,
But she learned pretty quick
That hard work’s the real trick
Now she’s got her whole future on lock.
this valentine's don't bring me a rose
the smell will only tickle my nose
instead bring me a kiss
with that you can't miss
I'll love you from your head to your toes
The story begins at my school.
I began to sound like a fool.
My voice started to crack;
I heard a loud quack,
Why is puberty so darn cruel.
Passing a stone, can be oh so vile.
It hurts so much more than just having a pile.
And when it came out...
I gave a big shout...
Then my face, it became one big smile.
If you try to change minds just by yelling,
Nobody will buy what you're selling,
So put down the knife,
Get on with your life,
'Cause cursing folks out ain't compelling.
There once was a person who was old,
Who stole a leprechaun's pot of gold,
So the latter kicked him hard
And he flew across a yard,
And then there's a wind that's very cold.
There is an annoying orange fruit,
Who considers himself as quite cute.
A sprite would start raving mad
Then beating this funny lad
With some leprechaun magic, "Hoot, hoot!"
Here comes a frog named Kermit the Frog,
Who has his own online blog.
He went to ponds and beyond.
He and the pig have a bond.
Piggy threw the frog hard to Prague.
There is a person named Leon,
Who has not worked in an eon.
He is on a standby
While eating stir-fry.
His eyes are freakin' neon!
There is a gas manager named Hank,
Who puts his currencies in a bank.
He values handling propane
Over him handling methane.
He stuffs his work shirt with a gas tank.
There is a jerky employee
Who delves into a fantasy.
One day, with a smirk,
The person goes berserk.
Right now, he is stuck in China sea.
There is the tall elf named Buddy,
Who is Santa Claus' quick study.
Throwing a lot of snow balls,
"Hi, daddy," the human calls,
He falls down and gets all muddy.
Hickory, dickory, dock. Three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one, and down two run, mourning the terrible loss.
There is a rich Wall Street investor
Who is a digital wealth master.
One day, crypto prices rise,
Thinking that selling is wise,
He lost and faces a sequester.
There is an abnormal businessman
Who is a corporate partisan.
He taints all oceans with oil,
Which contaminates the soil.
Afterwards, he is a garbageman.
There was a commie named Sanders Claus.
Most youths adore him with an applause.
He gives citizens free stuff,
But critics call on his bluff.
One day, he pinched himself with his claws.
There was a blue creature called a smurf.
His tiny mushroom home was his turf.
One day, he picked up berries,
And he's guided by fairies.
He was itching because he had scurf.
Here's a villain named Robbie Rotten
Whose bad deeds are nearly forgotten.
He wants to continue sloth
In order to hamper growth.
His efforts are then misbegotten.
Tacks
Zacky steped on a crack
his mother Wacky broke her back
witch made Clacky fall back down
down back to town to get some
Tacks
tacks for thier tacky board
and Tacks for wackys corns
There's a warrior named Sailor Moon,
Whose name refers to a grand cartoon.
She constantly fights evil,
With magic to save people.
Afterwards, she sleeps all afternoon.
To find my true loveable princess,
I'm told is a probable success.
All of the dates I must try,
And all without being shy,
But she now wears a mundane housedress.
In the Sherwood forest where the birds sweetly sing,
Flowers are blooming in the morning of spring,
Pulled sword from the stone,
I was given the throne,
I am Arthur, the once and future king.
A princess lived on a hill
She had plenty of wealth, but still
She wished for a friend
To play with until day's end
Someone who could give her a thrill
One day she spotted a frog
MooLoo Tacoonoo is an emu,
A bird who lives if I recall correctly near Perú,
His cry be heard from Chile to Argentina,
Whether it be mountain village or seaside marina,
A pretty young woman named KC
From eight until five she is busy
All day she's locked in
In her stuffy li'l bin
Yet comes out looking fresh as a daisy!
A modest young woman from LeeloApplied for a job doing demosShe aced all the testsYet ne'er made the list'cause the boss didn't like all her photos
America's the freest place around 'cause people can disagree
It has always been supportive of me since freedom is the decree
Just don't get too lax
You still must pay tax
But hey! My rights are guaranteed!
America is the land of the free,
Bur not exactly as free as should be,
Countless are Oppressed
The world's not impressed
But Trump claims he'll save us bigly
There was an old man of Ireland
who collect sea shell from Finland
Every day he sells sea shells in a market
shopkeeper put his sea shells in a bucket
one day sea shells jumped into his hand
Best leader Mackenzie King?Particles are decaying?Function of p?Mussolini?Oh god, help me I'm dying! :)
One day I'm here, the next I'm not
For Intel has moved us to a new spot
In state far from where I've grown
A new adventure does intone
And the new high school now feels like a jot.
This past year has had its share of drama
Not to mention emotional trauma
But the one thing I’ll remember
At the end of December
Was the love we received from our mama
At times things seemed so bleak
She once killed a man named Freddie Doo.
For he loved to fondle with her shoe.
So she chopped him into pieces,
Which she sent to her nieces
Did I mention that she is a cow named Moo Moo?
Sweating spoons settle in a drawer
They're stuffed inside like sardines
They kiss in there, they don't want anything more
They're acting like "celibate" teens
Those silly slippery spoons fancy spooning each other
If I were stranded in the seas
It would sure do a number on my knees
Though I wouldn't consent
I would quickly augment
My situation as I please.
To bring a friend known all lifelong
There once was a girl named Beige
She spent all her days in a cage
If ever she cried,
No person would buy
And she was left with nothing but rage
There once was a boy named Jack
I live in a town called Walled Lake,
I bake a mighty dump cake,
My birthday's in June,
My favorite time's noon,
And I will gladly go out for a steak.
Wipe my mind and memory
If I'm blind, I know I'll see
I don't want to know
I can't let it show
This stigma torturing me
Lying on my back at night
Cowering for fear of fright
There once was a lady and gown
One morning she ran through the town
She kept on the jog
Right into a bog
That mighty fast lady in brown.
There once was a lady who thought,
the new flowers that she had bought,
Just weren't yet thriving;
it was poison ivy,
And so a rash soon she got.
Love is a roller coaster.
It has its ups and downs
But everyone wants to go for the ride
And it always ends in a smile .
There was once a jazzy song
When heard would make you dance along
We swung and we swayed
We danced a soiree
Oh how we loved that old jazzy song
There was a young man from Nantucket
Who, probing deeply, found a large nugget
Being pious to a fault
He locked it in the vault
'Til Sunday, when he took it to Church in a bucket
There once was a womanizing lord
Whose wife was terribly bored.
And said she one day,
As he started to stray,
There once was a boy named Bobby.
Who didn't know his daddy or mommy.
He looked everywhere,
But couldnt find them anywhere.
Turns out he's just a lonly Tommy.
There once was a man called Marcus
Whom lost his paintbrush in his heart
He had his surgery
In the planet Mercury
And then he let out his last fart
There once was a man named Esser.
Whose knowlegde grew lesser and lesser.
At last it grew so small,
That he knew nothing at all.
And now he's a college proffesor.
Teachers who teach just for fun
who rarely get their stuff done;
No focus on class
Their students won't pass;
Real teachers help out a ton
Real teachers are people who care
There was a man in the lake
Whose good looks were but a fake.
But the envy had spread
To Narcissus’ head,
And he drowned the man in the lake.
Leadership, Camping, and so much more,Service to others and what for?Loyal, Trustworthy, and Brave,Many lives we help save!Only some reasons for the uniform you wore!
A prophet crossed the white line
And he did not eat a swine.
Disgusted by booze,
He kept out the Jews.
After that he drank palm wine.
I once had a good friend named Sam
Who had a crush on a beautiful man
from misscomunication
a subsequent erasion
Involving all parties not giving a damn.
Johnny was a walking pill,
All to better his sad will.
White and bitter,
A mean critter,
Till his pills came to a still.
Some people prefer not to shave.
“These people,” we say, “Are such knaves!”
But why should it matter,
If they’ve got just a smatter,
It doesn’t quite mean they’re depraved.
One fine day in the middle of the night
A butterfly flew into the sunlight
I carefully whizzed down the hill to meet it
Not thinking about the way my face would greet it
Forever more would it fly at ground height
There once was a cat named splat
Who wore a funky hat
He fittled and fuddled
And stepped in peters puddle
And that was that.
