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There was a rich woman named English Who used to be very selfish But she learned a lesson When she lost all her blessing Now she’s in the market where she sells fish
One happy-go-lucky senryuWas caught impersonating a haikuThey levied no finesBut deleted two linesNow she's a stick-in-the-mud monoku . . © 2019 Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
Humpty sat on a wall Humpty had a great fall He had a big ass So when he fell on the grass This brought laughter to all.
Way back in the old days of Limerick, The town's mayor was not quite so synergic, So the people decided, That they wanted to be provided, With a foundation made of some newer brick.
There once was a man named Daedalus Known as a dentist of excellence He sampled some Vicodin Now he’s imprisoned in A habit of common excrescence A habit which started with booze
The monster wanted love from the maidenAnd gold that the townspeople paid himWhen it came time to collectHim the maiden did rejectTo contain his wrath none could persuade him . .
At birth I was spanked to ensure breathingLater poetry enhanced life's meaningThe first a violent actThe latter a peaceful factSpecial part of life that keeps me beaming . .
There once was a girl last named Sok Who thought she was smart as a rock, But she learned pretty quick That hard work’s the real trick Now she’s got her whole future on lock.
this valentine's don't bring me a rose the smell will only tickle my nose instead bring me a kiss with that you can't miss I'll love you from your head to your toes
The story begins at my school. I began to sound like a fool. My voice started to crack; I heard a loud quack, Why is puberty so darn cruel.
Passing a stone, can be oh so vile. It hurts so much more than just having a pile. And when it came out... I gave a big shout... Then my face, it became one big smile.
If you try to change minds just by yelling, Nobody will buy what you're selling, So put down the knife, Get on with your life, 'Cause cursing folks out ain't compelling.
There once was a person who was old, Who stole a leprechaun's pot of gold, So the latter kicked him hard And he flew across a yard, And then there's a wind that's very cold.
There is an annoying orange fruit, Who considers himself as quite cute. A sprite would start raving mad Then beating this funny lad With some leprechaun magic, "Hoot, hoot!"
Here comes a frog named Kermit the Frog, Who has his own online blog. He went to ponds and beyond. He and the pig have a bond. Piggy threw the frog hard to Prague.
There is a person named Leon, Who has not worked in an eon. He is on a standby While eating stir-fry. His eyes are freakin' neon!
There is a gas manager named Hank, Who puts his currencies in a bank. He values handling propane Over him handling methane. He stuffs his work shirt with a gas tank.
There is a jerky employee Who delves into a fantasy. One day, with a smirk, The person goes berserk. Right now, he is stuck in China sea.
There is the tall elf named Buddy, Who is Santa Claus' quick study. Throwing a lot of snow balls, "Hi, daddy," the human calls, He falls down and gets all muddy.
Hickory, dickory, dock. Three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one, and down two run, mourning the terrible loss.
There is a rich Wall Street investor Who is a digital wealth master. One day, crypto prices rise, Thinking that selling is wise, He lost and faces a sequester.
There is an abnormal businessman Who is a corporate partisan. He taints all oceans with oil, Which contaminates the soil. Afterwards, he is a garbageman.
There was a commie named Sanders Claus. Most youths adore him with an applause. He gives citizens free stuff, But critics call on his bluff. One day, he pinched himself with his claws.
There was a blue creature called a smurf. His tiny mushroom home was his turf. One day, he picked up berries, And he's guided by fairies. He was itching because he had scurf.
Here's a villain named Robbie Rotten Whose bad deeds are nearly forgotten. He wants to continue sloth In order to hamper growth. His efforts are then misbegotten.
Tacks Zacky steped on a crack his mother Wacky broke her back witch made Clacky fall back down down back to town to get some Tacks tacks for thier tacky board and Tacks for wackys corns
There's a warrior named Sailor Moon, Whose name refers to a grand cartoon. She constantly fights evil, With magic to save people. Afterwards, she sleeps all afternoon.
To find my true loveable princess, I'm told is a probable success. All of the dates I must try, And all without being shy, But she now wears a mundane housedress.
In the Sherwood forest where the birds sweetly sing, Flowers are blooming in the morning of spring, Pulled sword from the stone, I was given the throne, I am Arthur, the once and future king.
A princess lived on a hill She had plenty of wealth, but still She wished for a friend To play with until day's end Someone who could give her a thrill One day she spotted a frog
MooLoo Tacoonoo is an emu, A bird who lives if I recall correctly near Perú, His cry be heard from Chile to Argentina, Whether it be mountain village or seaside marina,
A pretty young woman named KC From eight until five she is busy All day she's locked in In her stuffy li'l bin Yet comes out looking fresh as a daisy!
A modest young woman from LeeloApplied for a job doing demosShe aced all the testsYet ne'er made the list'cause the boss didn't like all her photos
America's the freest place around 'cause people can disagree It has always been supportive of me since freedom is the decree Just don't get too lax You still must pay tax But hey! My rights are guaranteed!
America is the land of the free, Bur not exactly as free as should be, Countless are Oppressed The world's not impressed But Trump claims he'll save us bigly
There was an old man of Ireland who collect sea shell from Finland Every day he sells sea shells in a market shopkeeper put his sea shells in a bucket one day sea shells jumped into his hand
Best leader Mackenzie King?Particles are decaying?Function of p?Mussolini?Oh god, help me I'm dying! :)
One day I'm here, the next I'm not For Intel has moved us to a new spot In state far from where I've grown A new adventure does intone And the new high school now feels like a jot.
This past year has had its share of drama Not to mention emotional trauma But the one thing I’ll remember At the end of December Was the love we received from our mama At times things seemed so bleak
She once killed a man named Freddie Doo. For he loved to fondle with her shoe. So she chopped him into pieces, Which she sent to her nieces Did I mention that she is a cow named Moo Moo?
Sweating spoons settle in a drawer They're stuffed inside like sardines They kiss in there, they don't want anything more They're acting like "celibate" teens Those silly slippery spoons fancy spooning each other
If I were stranded in the seas It would sure do a number on my knees Though I wouldn't consent I would quickly augment My situation as I please. To bring a friend known all lifelong
There once was a girl named Beige She spent all her days in a cage If ever she cried, No person would buy And she was left with nothing but rage There once was a boy named Jack
Philosophy is awesome, yes
I live in a town called Walled Lake, I bake a mighty dump cake, My birthday's in June, My favorite time's noon, And I will gladly go out for a steak.
Wipe my mind and memory If I'm blind, I know I'll see I don't want to know I can't let it show This stigma torturing me Lying on my back at night Cowering for fear of fright
There once was a girl who would wall
when you feel like the world warps and looks
There once was a lady and gown One morning she ran through the town She kept on the jog Right into a bog That mighty fast lady in brown.
There once was a lady who thought, the new flowers that she had bought, Just weren't yet thriving; it was poison ivy, And so a rash soon she got.
Love is a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs But everyone wants to go for the ride And it always ends in a smile .
There was once a jazzy song When heard would make you dance along We swung and we swayed We danced a soiree Oh how we loved that old jazzy song
There was a young man from Nantucket Who, probing deeply, found a large nugget Being pious to a fault He locked it in the vault 'Til Sunday, when he took it to Church in a bucket
I once knew a boy from Haiti, Whose limericks were never quite funny.
There once was a womanizing lord Whose wife was terribly bored. And said she one day, As he started to stray,
There once was a boy named Bobby. Who didn't know his daddy or mommy. He looked everywhere, But couldnt find them anywhere. Turns out he's just a lonly Tommy.
There once was a girl from New York,
There once was a man called Marcus Whom lost his paintbrush in his heart He had his surgery In the planet Mercury And then he let out his last fart
There once was a man named Esser. Whose knowlegde grew lesser and lesser. At last it grew so small, That he knew nothing at all. And now he's a college proffesor.
Teachers who teach just for fun who rarely get their stuff done; No focus on class Their students won't pass; Real teachers help out a ton Real teachers are people who care
There was a man in the lake Whose good looks were but a fake. But the envy had spread To Narcissus’ head, And he drowned the man in the lake.
Leadership, Camping, and so much more,Service to others and what for?Loyal, Trustworthy, and Brave,Many lives we help save!Only some reasons for the uniform you wore!
A prophet crossed the white line And he did not eat a swine. Disgusted by booze, He kept out the Jews. After that he drank palm wine.
I once had a good friend named Sam Who had a crush on a beautiful man from misscomunication a subsequent erasion Involving all parties not giving a damn.
Johnny was a walking pill, All to better his sad will. White and bitter, A mean critter, Till his pills came to a still.
Some people prefer not to shave. “These people,” we say, “Are such knaves!” But why should it matter, If they’ve got just a smatter, It doesn’t quite mean they’re depraved.
One fine day in the middle of the night A butterfly flew into the sunlight I carefully whizzed down the hill to meet it Not thinking about the way my face would greet it Forever more would it fly at ground height
There once was a cat named splat Who wore a funky hat He fittled and fuddled And stepped in peters puddle And that was that.