'acceptance'
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Dear Old Self,
How are you?
It’s been a while, hasn’t it?
I would be lying if I said I missed you.
If I can recall, it took a while to erase away the bad memories of you, and now you want back in?
Dear mane, I used to be ashamed to say that you’re mine
On the playground, getting harassed with questions like:
“Were you born with braids on your head?”, “How does it grow so fast?”,
I’ll never leave the fantasy of
The life I’ve always wanted:
A bird become free, as I can see;
Yet is a world never imparted.
Resonant foxes in lush of green
The Prometheus espedition consumes
Cupid hovers spectacularly spectating
The caverns secretly securing alienation
Awaaiting a utopia derived by that familiar
I
it’s hard to make a circle that’s perfect
Such a simple looking shape, but a quite unattainable prospect
You only see such perfect appearances on paper, book, or magazine
You ask me to tell you when I realized I was growing up
Well that’s a complicated question
Cause I can say I was forced to grow up the moment my father decided to molest me from ages 5 to 13
When I was young,
Had I heard your voice,
I'd have said,
You were a queer.
Someone said,
That in the Bible,
Those like you were bad.
Those like me were good.
Why can’t I simply
Walk in?
The doors, they gleam
Their thick glass, it seems
Impenetrable.
Inside I know their eyes
Will corner me into the wall
Why is it that they all
never censor the dirty words.
unleash the violet memories of
your violent childhood:
lilac frocks and pomegranite seeds
and leftover boo-boos
because sometimes
daddy couldn't see you
I think of you looking at me and what do I see?
I see fat and insecurities
I see me
I think of you looking at her and what do I see?
Well, my crazy heart may be the death of me later on. Like it had been for my mom. We both have gambling hearts that throw the die at every shot at the jackpot called happiness.
dear megan,
if i wanted to write you a letter
to finally say everything
i wanted to say if i ever saw you again
i guess
To the boy on the bus,
with the thick brown hoodie and the old running shoes and the wireframed glasses
and the ripped jeans that started at the knees
when you bought them
but strecthed to your lower thigh.
We're all people.
All equal.
We began the prequel and will end it with a sequel.
See you've built this castle of loneliness to barricade the happiness you seek to have.
Dear 13-year-old Juliana,
Things will get better.
Slowly but surely, you will discover that have anxiety,
Which explains why you are the way you are.
Dear Daddy,
I miss you everyday.
Since you went away.
I wrestle with the thought that I should have done more.
That I should have stayed with you, but I ran and hid in my room.
I have scars
some are physical
The phantom burn from the hot coal
silver on my hands from rambunctious cats
The mark on my leg from a bad scooter accident
I have scars
some are emotional
Dichotomy
So often found in the strangest of places
Reminds us why
Living can be both melancholy and euphoric.
She
It's not shaking and crying and screaming until your throat burns. It's not tidal waves of emotions, quickly drowing you. It's not blood running down your wrist, staining your flesh red. It's not popping pills, and drinking whiskey.
I'd be lying if I said there is nothing I'd ever want
Can't hide this frustration, it's talent is to haunt
Here are some things I will never ever get
No matter how hard I try, life won't ever let
With every step I thrive
With every word I preach
I strive
I know my heart is beating
I can see, I’m breathing
And everyday I thank God I’m alive
Who Am I?
It's the lone question every single human breathing on this Earth asks. I have struggled with this question myself. It's a difficult task.
Anxious mind,
Anxious heart,
Yearning to see
The World.
Always telling myself
Don't talk to them,
Don't say a word,
Do you see me?
I do not need the sun. I like the night.
Do you see them?
They do not need the sun. They like the stars.
One day when there is only night, I shall be the sun.
I am the chosen one.
Together we stand as oneGetting believers is shooting for the long runTired of people giving up and saying they're doneWe should all feel we have won
