Photograph
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Outside, it was miserable and rainy:
A cold day in November.
I held the photo against the lamp
On a dark day in November.
It was old, blurry and grainy,
But enough to make me remember.
They say everything we passed
From the time it starts,
The all we had light and dark
They say the truth these are.
The nothingness of space envelops me
As I drift amongst a sea of stars.
Cold, unfeeling, this is the space we exist in,
What do you see when you look at a photograph?
Do you see your memories from the past?
Do you notice the things you hadn’t notice before?
That night the picture was taken?
I found a faded photograph
Of my grandparents
Not the grandparents you’ve met
My grandmother who died of cancer
The one I’m named after
My biological grandfather who killed himself
I used to carry the photograph of us,
but now I carry the memory of how I dropped it in the subway.
I carry the regret of not going back far enough to retrieve it.
In a world where people are periodically posting pics and sending selfies to fellow citizens, there is a surprising amount of self hate surrounding the subject.
When you look at the world What do you see?
Do you view your food and friends in Mayfair and Valencia?
Your wasting your time deciding which accent makes your skin look tan
Maybe I'm crazy and insane. Maybe we are not the same. But now I know what I see. Every time you look at me. It's innocence, That light. A light that shines through any dark night. And tho you are far away. These words I still have to say.
When I take a picture
I smile and stare at my relfection.
My mind wonders if they will like it
if they will see me the way I see me.
I am a woman who can do it all
Even though I am so small
I have so much potential because I know most of the essentials
Blood as red as a rose
They said death was something that you just chose
Truthfully it chose you
Smile,
Wave hello,
Be friendly,
Be bold,
Be perfect.
They expect that from you,
So you give it to them.
“What’s wrong?”
They ask, if you only slightly frown.
Will it be Instagrammed, 50 likes
buttons pressed to show approval
instapopularity, we can accept ourselves now
filtering out sincerity in acid blue
Will it be framed on the wall
Staring at her past self
Evaporated Dreams
Waistline Increased
Color Dimmed
Snapshots of happiness
Endless Sunny Skies
Playful Fights
Summertime
How old was she?
This is a photograph of you,
and people ask:
"why is there so much pain?"
How do they know...
just by seeing your face
that you feel
anger,
sadness,
confusion,
I tack a portrait of you to the classroom wall
--You--
Gorgeously lit in the the frame of a window
Appear in the grays and blacks and whites of the photograph
Peering questioningly at all who view You.
