'Glow-Up
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I’m getting old now I think 10 o’clock is a time to be countin sheep
I lay in my bed and I weep because this wasn’t supposed to happen to me
My feet hurt ,my back ache oh this old person life is a head ache
The Old Me
Hollowed and tied back to the bumble tree
Or maybe pushed off and truely set free
Waiting, Waiting, Exstaticly -for others to valide me
Shaking,berated,I'm breaking inside
I'M TRAPED HERE
is looking down
at the stupid cute eyes of a kid
wide with admiration and knowing
that you have to live up to the
cool big kid you are in their eyes.
Growing up
i listen to ghostin by ariana and cry
i feel her pain when she confesses
“he just comes to visit me when i’m dreaming every now and then”
i cry because he is the one i’ve lost
Seven years old;
It’s that age where
We’re seemingly uncontrolled.
Where something unfair
Is a travesty, where being bold
So ignorant and young
To not know the truth of it all
That things once pieced together
Could fall apart
Not easily mended
Things would be broken unintended
Wishful thinking will not solve anything
oh, i’ve always known to clean the dryer filter after every load
I’ve always known how to fold
I’ve always known how to pee in a cup
But I’ve never really known how to grow up
I sometimes have the feeling that I can’t recognize myself.
When I look into the mirror and the image reflected back at
me all of a sudden seems unfamiliar.
And then I actually feel.
The coarseness in my hands and
Pieces of love
Like Water
Grounded
then
Up
Roots
To soak
Up
More love
Pulling leaf over leaf
Up
To small caterpillar kisses
I’m in a pickle
and I don’t know what to do.
I popped it, probably
Without even realizing I was covered in thorns
in a bubble.
Night and day they repeated this process
The rocky eggs died in gold-dust
And the chemical’s specific gravity traveled
Not six or seven times, but 360
i turned twenty last weekend and i can already feel my heart rotting
Ally Sheedy was right
that is not to say that i am an adult but still
because im scared too
i remember you told me when we were at K'OOK last Tuesday night
and i wanted to say
me too
I bury myself in multiple layers of clothing.
White jacket over white raincoat over white t-shirt over white lifevest.
The crowd can’t see me when I’m snuggled in all this fabric.
Not long ago the growing pains started
The pains that broke the broken-hearted
The inevitable happened- I went blind
It was quite an experience at first
My vision went from bad to worse
Not long ago the growing pains started
The pains that broke the broken-hearted
The inevitable happened- I went blind
It was quite an experience at first
My vision went from bad to worse
The memory was always fresh...it starts to fade a little now
The unsettled push and pull of the heart
Think of a million new days, suns, moons, and stars
It will pass
In innocence, choose one.
Hopscotch or jump rope? Cookies or brownies?
Drums or violin? Ballet or gymnastics?
IPod or Nintendo DS?
Pick! Pick!
The clock is ticking,
Echoing, both fast and slow.
Each tick adding palpable nerves to the room.
Suffocated by the smell of soap and bleach,
I twiddle my fingers, scratch my neck, bite my lip, and wait.
The lights are out by eleven
The fun is done by seven
Free time is nonexistant
Stomach isn't so dairy resistant
The bills make me wish I was eleven
