Fight The Fear
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Graceless, the sinking soils,
a cold thorn between Venusian thighs
Had pierced her bud so aggressively,
Despite my vociferous efforts,
To keep him away:
Above the lands, I find the tattered remains of letters
With words that burn and bite and sting,
they creep up on your mind and ring
until you no longer sleep at night.
There are sounds and smells
that remind you of days passed,
My goal in life is chasing discomort.
Everyday I wake up at 6 for an ice baptism.
Discomfort begins growth.
My alarms screams at me.
Creating discomfort grows growth.
The shower starts, ice falls.
Fear, There’s plenty of it, it fills us all Paralyzes us, keeps cautious, wanting to avoid the fall Something we can’t outgrow or out run When it’s there we wish it were done Thought of the past plants it, thought of the future grows it Can’t bru
It's hard leaving your home
But you have to go
Those tears you cried wont be in vain
All that hurt you felt, that awful pain
Will wash away under the summer rain
You'll see them again
They say the only thing to be afraid of is fear
itself, as if it’s some kind of
reassurance, a pat on the back
a little too hard, slamming all of the air out
of a pair of lungs too desperate for
As I think, it rushes in—
A river, a torrent, a waterfall
Threatening life or limb
Or peace.
Thoughts come swirling, pounding,
In my head
Never resting—unrelenting.
Voices rush, a flood,
She’s always been there lurking
In the darkest corners of my mind
I never thought of searching
For the voice that mimicked mine
I used to be creative
Then I went to school
I used to play outside
Now the air's too cool
I used to have ambition
Living unrestrained
But now my will's been missing
Some children have monsters under their bed.
Some have skeletons in their closet.
One child in particular fears something far greater,
A child of her own age.
She remembers the day like it was yesterday.
Everyone is always sad
Sad, afraid, angry
But what I'd feared is not
the anger
but to be forgotten
in death.
what I've realized is
I'm a poet
and my poems
will always be
Breathe.
Blade to skin
Blade to skin
The pain will go away.
Breathe.
Blade to counter
Blade to counter
Pain doesnt kill pain.
Breathe.
Blade away
Blade away
Call lights shining,
alarms ringing,
people racing,
I'm in over my head.
Long lectures,
rushed notes,
early mornings,
I'm in over my head.
Blood pressure rising,
i've seen an animal an animal of a certain maturity, a certain age its eyes are dark, i can’t read its expression i'm thinking about gods, men and i tuck the animal’s hair behind its ears
Let the drops glissade fiercelyAnd blaze their trail unrepentantly.Bless them, that they may bleed with no contradiction. Oh please,Do not let them be licked awayBy the hasty tongues Of public decency and decorum,Pride and chauvinistic conven
Looking into a somber, empty future
Bequeathing a speech to a room of strangers
Plummeting into an empty abyss.
Becoming a guardian of your psyche
Acknowledging the precedence of friendships
Fear, as I’ve found, isn’t worth a damn.
Fear is low sometimes, like on Scuffed elbow Saturdays when
I met her when I was ten
She was the stranger at my door.
The dog barking at me from across the street.
The tree branch knocking on my window in the dark.
I know that friends come and go
But why you left, I’ll never know
I do not know how I became so attached
To someone who could leave my heart in half
Nervous as a bitch
Palms are sweaty and hot and cold chills.
Standing there faceless with
The news blares bright and gaudy. Full of fear and sound.
yet in the warmth of my grandmothers living room
golden light filtering
through her paisley curtains
it feels
far
away
Age 2: Loud noises
Age 4: Monsters and ghosts
Age 8: My math teacher
Age 10:The tallest roller coaster
Age 12: Public Speaking
I fear my life
It is scary and impatient
With amazing opportunities
And deep personalities
It frightens; I feel frightened
I fear my life
It is scary and impatient
With amazing opportunities
And deep personalities
It frightens; I feel frightened
no reason to keep going
i’ll just stay in my bed
the thought of starting up my day
fills me with only dread
i’m living in a dessert
where sorrow is the sand
and hope is like the water
I have anxiety.
Why does that seem so hard to admit?
It's just a word, nothing more.
It's what it feels like...
That's what makes it terrifying.
Anxiety makes you feel like you're drowning.
The creeping dark is there
Waiting for me to slip
The creeping dark is there
Helping my feet to trip
The creeping dark is there
Freezing my heart and soul
The creeping dark is there
Run away from fear.
Face fear head on.
Fear is like the ocean. It is huge and charging and all-consuming.
It will swallow you whole and spit you out completely different.
hunched over in the corner of a classroom, you can interrupt.
They are ornamental, invisibility—so friends don’t ask
it is not my fault and it is not their fault,
but still it bites and it burns like a cut full of salt
now i live in the vault,
Through small eyes
and a smaller perception
I could see the waters rise
Opted out on my own election
Couldn't bear the size
Waves marking no stagnation
Claims of fun are mere lies
Ripples from the rain falling
I see the dark clouds hang over me
Uncertainties are calling
I just wished they would let me be
Suddenly a crack in the sky
Brightness shines from the sun
There is nothing more that I fear
than a burning bridge.
The flames do not scare me,
only the gaping abyss.
What I always fail to see
I'm a ghost with a beating heart
You're alive but yours wont start
I'm getting worried child please don't leave
Because when you die you wont be like me
I can keep you safe I swear to it
I’m so afraid
Of what happens in my
Head
As I lay there in the silence of my
Very own bed
I’m afraid of the things
Around every corner, throughout every room,
She meets fear with a message
Of impending doom.
It takes courage and trust--every journey she tries,
Even though she knows well
It is fear who tells lies.
RudeObnoxiousLoudAbrasiveOrneryDepressed
I thought.
"Love her Teach her Care for her Give her the skills she needs Pull her out of herself"
I am Nigerian
My birth certificate does not matter to them
My Yoruba title does not matter to them
Watching Nollywood movies does not matter to them
Singing and dancing to Afrobeat music does not matter to them
The hardest thing you can do
Is to see yourself
Trying to be someone else
And you can never be that person
Because that person isn’t you
10 months of non-stop self-hatred of my body
10 months of shoving a finger down my throat, just to have this illusion of me having control
Over my body weight
Constantly being aware of the calories going into my mouth
My heart beats faster than my mind
Which is running somewhere else other than here
It escapes to my home in West Virginia which is a thousand mile away from here
i am able to dance with angels
when the sky sheds millions
of scintillating tears,
that illuminate the earth.
i hear their merry laughter-
Sweat dripping
legs shaking
eyes unfocused
words stuttered
Eyes piercing
attention on me
judging glares
laughing scare
That was what I seen
Feel these signs, feel these signs?
Take them as your warning sign, warning sign
If you can just pull away, pull away
You only have so much time, so much time
Feel these signs, feel these signs?
I always thought I was beautiful
But this process breaks the body
There’s another life inside my own
A life that calls my body home
I’ve searched for hours and still I roam
Looking around for answers
Old habits die hard,
Robert Frost and dying stars,
Those are the things that made me.
Cherry blossoms now in bloom begin wilting on the stem.
The weight of the waves relentlessly presses down
Crash after crash, no air left in my lungs
Petrified, no energy to lunge
No other hope but to drown
But even the air of the deep
I am a human, last time I checked.
Did my awkward bumbling block me
from being the best I could have been?
"You have so much potential?"
Then why does it seem I feel empty?
let’s look at this year.
let’s stare into the darkness,
festering in the beginning
where hope ought to lay.
let’s search for a reason
"The moment has arrived.
The day I've always imagined is here.
I spent nights without sleeping for this.
This is all you've ever wanted,
but you are scared.
It's now or never",
I would say to myself.
The world is cold.
Cold like the air that sets your hands shaking
your jaw clenching
your heart racing.
Cold like the pain in your brain after too
much ice cream when
it hits a tooth just wrong.
fears spread far and wide
personal fears are ones we cannot hide
my fear was relationships
How can you be living if you’re not alive?
Or if you’re just living to survive
Too scared to cross the line, you hide
Never leave the house without a bottle at your side.
It could hit you any time any place
“Ahh, Buster’s bigger than Patty! That means he’s taller than me!”
she yelled this as she hid behind me as the German shepherd
stood on his hindlegs placing his paws on my shoulders as I laughed.
Good enough.
Am I?
What is?
Applying for graduate schools.
Will I make it?
Have I done enough?
Will this be the one?
No.
Okay, try again.
