The hardest thing you can do

Is to see yourself

Trying to be someone else

And you can never be that person

Because that person isn’t you

And molding yourself into a cookie cutter shape

Will not increase your chances

But you think it is what you have to do.

The stress will not dissipate

And the weight will not be lifted.

Your anchor will unhook

And you will float away with each wave passing.

And you try harder

And harder

Until it becomes too much

And you become tired of disappointing yourself

Over and over

Because that is what it does.

And you drag your shadow

As if it is the greatest weight you bear

And you have to make it look simple

Because that is what you have to do.

But there second guessing comes more naturally,

The habit repeats until there is nothing but a mess in your head

And the things you can’t control

Are now somehow fathomable to be in your control

And then the blame comes

And the stress returns

Because that is what it is like.

And you start to come back up for air

And it returns

With your head in your hands,

Retreating back to your mind

Permanently

Where you life

With only your thoughts

Eating you alive

Slowly.

But you pick yourself back up

And try again

Because that is what you know you have to do.

A fear forms of “what if it happens again?”

But when it does

You are ready

And you overcome it once again

Because that is what you know you can do

Now that you know.

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