MY YEAR IN POETRY SCHOLARSHIP
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The vast emptiness of the night swallowed my cries
He’d done it again, sucked me back in
How could I be open to accept his lies?
How could I be so stupid again?
All I want is to speak, but I am afraid what you’ll think of my voice
Instead, I reside to the shadows where I may speak without regret
Give me a year
I'll exploit it.
I will gladly take advantage.
I will stretch
and squeeze it
and slow down
and freeze it
as much as I can manage.
A year is a precious gift
Last year was the year I fell and couldn't get up
We hoped and we wished but it was never enough
It started with you and I ended alone
Last year was the year I fell on my own
Time is a cruel teacher, merciless.
I watched seniors graduate, then
took their place.
I learned poetry is in people
and places, and that things
change, even people.
You ever watch Donnie Darko?
That scene about the spectrum:
Between two bounds, the heart goes—
The emotings of fear and love.
I felt so sure about it before;
That love existed, and surely it does.
The future follows behind me with a stern look and a jagged plea
As competition constantly stares back at me.
In the past year I battled the fists of friend crusades
Because of the stabs of pending test grades.
