heartbreak
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Winter nights began,
As winter sonata plays.
Candle lights in my room
Just to warm the passing days.
My eyes were set on the fireplace,
And the blazing logs turn to coals.
Dark, gloomy, and sad
My heart cried out in panic,
When you leave without adieu.
I waited in silence,
With misty eyes fixed on you.
I asked my heart why it raced,
And it groped for a sane response.
In the stillness of the night, a lonely love unfolds,
Embracing solitude, as the moon casts shadows bold.
A heart, adrift on an empty sea, yearning to be seen,
Longing for a soulful connection, but trapped within a dream.
It’s so sweet how you think you broke my heart,
But the crazy thing is, that is not even the best part.
This whole time you thought I would go along with your little plan,
a muse of undisclosed information
layed over the bodies with slashed hearts
in an effort to recognize
the pain and suffering i caused
something you would never know
because i love you
Music plays
Fades
Into rhythms that move
Become swirling sounds
That look a lot like you
When you call me, do you hear the strain
In your voice, the way you say my name?
Will I ever finally get the chance?
To finally get the chance to experience true romance.
To know what it's like to finally be in love,
And to have the kind of love that I have been dreaming of.
You supply the lips and I'll supply the kiss,
You supply the chance and I'll supply the bliss.
You supply the truth and I'll supply the trust,
You supply the time and I'll supply the lust.
In the end, I found out you were just playing games,
and you go through girls without even bothering to learn their names.
Here I was thinking that you were different,
Out of everyone else, with you it hurts the most,
Because this was the first time in my life where it felt like we were getting close.
As much as I don't want to say those words to you,
I always wanted to believe it to be true,
That in the end, maybe it would end up being me and you.
But maybe I not to accept the reality that it is not,
And just like that, I found myself in the same situation once again,
Torn between cutting you out of my life, or keeping you around as just a friend.
You can't tell me that you didn't think of me the same way,
Silly me for thinking that you felt the same,
And for believing in love, but I know that I am the only one to blame.
You think I would have learned my lesson by now,
But once again, I am left here wondering 'how?'
I am slowly starting to accept that maybe my path is not going to go how I planned,
Maybe at the end of the day, there will be no one there to hold my hand.
Everyone who knew me before has to get to know me again,
Because the image that you have of me in your head has come to an end.
The girl who once cared about people too much isn’t here anymore,
In my embrace, I’ll hold you tight.
Snug and warm, I watch you sleep.
My arm turns numb where you lay your head.
I can’t feel my hand anymore either.
A frozen solid block of ice...
Winter wind sure feels nice.
The sun, hidden, behind the clouds...
Within the ice she cries aloud.
Ice pick lying quite nearby...
Cannot reach it; trapped inside.
If I had to write about you,
It wouldn't be about flying, or the deep ocean, not even mountain top views,
It'd be about the fall to commit suicide,
The leap off of a wall,
You know you end at the bottom,
You deserve better.
You both deserve better.
You deserve better than this or that.
Holding on to a relationship that is dead and gone is worse than just leaving.
Why would you stay to make the pain worse?
Why would you try to salvage something unsalvageable?
It's not going to get better.
I never thought that there would be someone after you.
I never thought that I would have to restart my life without you in it.
Four years since the day that I have found out your name,
Four years since I have never been the same.
Four years since the first time I saw that smile,
For so long, I kept trying to defend you,
And I would always try to justify the things that you would do.
Even though I knew it was true, I would always try to deny it,
Last night all of my fears had come true,
Because when I was walking home, I ran into you.
I saw you out of the corner my eye,
It still hurts sometimes, but I have come to peace with where me and you are,
And I guess I like the fact that me and you are sleeping under the same stars.
And after everything that happened, I realized I need to say thank you,
Because you helped me so much, despite everything you put me through.
It’s officially been one month since the last time that we spoke,
And there are days where I am still trying to pick up the pieces that you broke.
And most days I am doing pretty well,
It hurts me to say, but I know that this is the end,
Because after everything that happened, we can never be friends again.
I have to admit to myself, that I will always love you,
I feel myself slowly starting to get better everyday,
But every once in a while, it still hurts, and I knew that it was going to be this way.
And I find myself still wishing that you would come back,
I still remember the story that you told me,
About how your mom wanted nothing to do with your dad until they came to be.
How they grew up together, and your mom wanted nothing to do with your dad,
Can I sit here and say that I am starting to let it go?
Or is this a lie, and it is something that I already know.
During the day I am fine, and then I fall apart most nights,
So here we are, trying to pick up the pieces of the mess that you made,
And the damage that you caused is going to need a lot more than a band-aid.
A kiss of water and salt seals unspoken words,
I feel the trace of an unsent letter on my lips.
Asphyxiated by the protection of our integrity,
At the expense of my serenity.
I thought I wasn't going to show it to you, but I did,
And now you know how I have felt about you since you were a kid.
After all of this time, maybe now you can finally see,
As hard as it would be to hear it, sometimes I wish you would just have the guts to say how you feel,
Because you and I both know that it is what is real.
I know you want to tell me to leave you alone,
I've never been brave. All my life, I've been the girl terrified of spiders.
I've been the one who isn't able to sleep without a light on, the one who's scared to walk alone in the dark.
her heart,broken to pieces of glass
and mine so beautiful and healed,
then she came into my life
and i knew she was mistreated,
i gave her a chance it was all i can give but,
New year.
New classes.
She's only in 2 of them with me.
Last year, she was in all of them.
I still see her.
I wonder if you think of me
in the way I do of you.
Does your heart flutter,
or do you get butterflies?
Does your heart ache,
5 months, trading kisses in my car
Your hands tracing hearts around my arms
Our lives, we knew would never be the same
Oh why’d you have to go and change
4 weeks, that’s all it took for me to fall
Shattered HourglassDo you guys think that if I break and hourglass time would cease to exist? Just long enough so I Can I go back to that night Yeah the night you walked out of my room The night were “I love you” no longer held a meaning besides
Once upon a time ago
I thought life could be easy.
Look at me
I’m lower
Than the sunken place
I feel like I’m lost at sea
We fell in love in late spring
As cool wind nipped at our cheeks
we found warmth in each others bodies
Our love blossomed into the summer
Hot, sunny days
Walking trails hand in hand
I think I lost myself, again Because here I am, fondling the sheets at 3am, looking for you in the darkness I only feel comfortable, if you are around And I can't eat, unless I feed you first
the day you left
the world still spun
precisely poised in orbit
and time.
no meteor shower or catastrophic event
molested the cosmic drab.
the day you left
we didn't make the headlines.
if oneday you hear me
through shadows, understanding;
when we've screamed out deaf
through pinholes in the floor.
then perhaps you'll discover
the me you've been missing;
unearth that lazy hammer
Beneath the weight of betrayal's sting,
I feel the tears that longing brings,
Made a fool, manipulated, accused,
Left torn, worthless, empty, and bruised.
It's funny how life decides to teach you lessons in the hardest way,
And that most of the time, you don't know what else you can do, think, or say.
For the first time in a long time, I am finally starting to feel like me again,
Lightning,
you strike once,
ruling the sky,
never striking the same way again.
Lightning,
thunder told me of your arrival,
but why is there no thunder to tell me when you leave?
The Light was gone
Fading like a dying star.
The glass was shattered
Like a broken heart.
The person lost
Looking for what could be.
Found with nothing
Given everything.
I’m not gone lie
nights are a little lonely when you’re not there
No laughter
No exchange of I love you
No call
I am broken in pieces, sitting behind my bedroom door,
Trying to get myself to pick up the peices of my heart that are scattered all over the floor.
You broke me in ways that I will never be able to understand,
Sitting in front of the door with the tears streaming down my face,
Knowing that there is no way that I can get out of this dark place.
Just as I thought things were turning around, life decides to take a turn,
For so long, I kept holding on, trying to convince myself that all of this was for something,
But I wasn't prepared for all of the hurt and pain that it would bring.
I am covered in bruises, cuts and scares from head to toe,
Blue hair
Blonde eyes
Piercing Cheshire lashes
Beating
Pounding!
Burning into ashes!
Blooming
Blossom
My Darling English Rose
What secrets
lie
My Secret Place. Well, secret in my eyes. It’s the only place I can go when I need to be alone. Alone with my thoughts, The leaves made the perfect hiding place from the sun. hiding behind the clouds. It was so quiet.
She slips on her left shoe,
Before I ask her for a hug,
She squeezes me with all her might,
But it felt just like a small bug,
I tell her with a soft tone,
As she walks up to the door,
This back and fourth bullshit from you is something that I told myself I would never deal with,
But I decided that when it comes to you, I can't deal with it anymore, and I have decided to plead the fifth.
looking into your eyes, oh so blue
i couldn’t help but fall for you
but i should’ve trusted my gut with you
especially after the last two
Do you ever get scared of not knowing what you are capable of?
And this can be in every aspcect in your life; whether it be work, school, goals, or even love?
I pick up the red and black pants that I saw you wearing in those pictures that I look at all the time,
And I really thought that by know, I would be able to call you mine.
I didn't want to admit it, but I cried myself to sleep every night this week because of you,
And I know that it is going to continue, no matter what I try and do.
No matter how many times I tell myself not to, I can't stop myself from watching it,
And everytime I do, I am always left feeling like my heart took a hit.
Mon, 5:10-5:30 am
SHE BROKE MY HEART
By Debi Lyn 09/19/22
As if enough MEN hadn’t already done the same –
Sometimes it's hard to admit it, but sometimes you need to accept defeat,
And that the future that you thought you were heading towards ends up not being so sweet.
Sometimes it's hard to admit it, but sometimes you need to accept defeat,
And that the future that you thought you were heading towards ends up not being so sweet.
Amore, mi sveglio questa bellissima fredda mattina di aprileForte come un leone in cattività, ma solo una cosaMi sta agitando: sei lontano da me e dalla mia isolaSei sola, assonnata e lontano dalla terra.
Broken promises and heartbreaks,
This friendship used to be sweet as cakes.
Things are not the same, they have changed,
What happened that caused us to be estranged?
Broken promises and heartbreaks,
This friendship used to be sweet as cakes.
Things are not the same, they have changed,
What happened that caused us to be estranged?
Broken promises and heartbreaks,
This friendship used to be sweet as cakes.
Things are not the same, they have changed,
What happened that caused us to be estranged?
I've travelled a lot, all across the world. Although I've never been outside my homeland. I've never been on a plane, but I've seen oceans and deserts, and the hustling cities, from a quiet rooftop.
No loyalty
No royalty
No unconditional love
No clean white dove
Life is full of shocks, locks
Love is a dream that begins
Love is a chimera that begins
It’s a ballerina who dances
It’s a poet who thinks
It's a bird that sings
It took me a long time to realize, but I have finally learned a lot about you,
And that even though I thought you were different, your actions told me that you areexactly the same by the things that you do.
Heartbreak
fuck
the pain
sobbing-
mascara on my face
hood on,
resting bitch face-
showing (to
tired to h
id
e it)
Why?Love-
pain
A thousand paper cuts cover my fingers,From flipping through the pages of this book.Of our book.The book we wrote together,Page by page,Day by day.
I used to love you. To the words,deeds and promises full filled and broken, I used to cherish those moments.
Moments that were breathe taking,
I really really enjoyed everything.....
5 months, trading kisses in my car
Your hands tracing hearts around my arms
Our lives, we knew would never be the same
But why’d you have to go and change
Hey
4 weeks, that’s all it took for me to fall
When we met you told me that your heart was a broken song
So I hope you were able to fix it with the pieces you took after shattering mine.
But mine will never be reassembled on solid ground
Silently I prayUnderneath the starsFor a lover that will stayErase all the scarsLeft on my heart by othersWho left without hesitationAnd let me be smothered
Therefore, what I hope to find
The best way that I can explain life is that it is like a thread,
And the length of your string all depends on what you went through and the words that were said.
I always used to say I hated summer
Something about the heat
Or the sun burns
Or the bugs flying around
No matter where you go
But it wasn’t entirely true
You see
It’s true that I hated summer
It's so ironic how after heartbreak, a simple everyday item turns into the things that makes you fall apart,
And it doesn't take much for every little thing to remind me of you, even though you were the one who broke my heart.
I don’t understand how you can just stand there
Standing beside the river I cried
Skipping stones off my tears to watch how far they’ll go
As if my brokenness is a wishing well you have been waiting to use
If our story is over
Let me be the first to write the endnote
Let me be the first to close the cover
To burn the pages where I scribbled your name in my dreams
And if the pages are burning
I'm falling
But you won't catch me.
I'm falling,
Landing out this time.
I'm falling
But you didn't push me.
I'm falling
But you didn't pull me.
"I can't help it if you're falling"
I would love to tell you "take all the time you need, I'll be here"
I would really, really love to,
But I don't really know if I can.
Not like this.
Desert.
Dry.
Empty.
Lost.
Lonley.
Back and forth
In and out
Running away
Coming back.
Here and there
Nowhere to be found
I say “I’ll just forget”
I say “I’m a clown”.
Dancing and turning
Lying in bed
It’s A Lot Easier To Believe The Warming Feeling Of Love For Another Is Thoroughly Reciprocated Than To Admit The Blatant Truth That Your Love Is One Sided.
I didn’t start writing because you broke me, you know?
I started writing when I learned to write,
I learned to write because I learned to read,
You know I’ve realized
That somehow falling in love
Is the best and worst thing
That can ever happen to a person
You will feel things you never knew you could feel.
Merry Christmas Darling
We’re apart as you planned
And every day is full of pain
Since you’re holding a different hand
Dear friend,
I know it has been two years now since you left.
I know I’ve had two years to let go, or move on, or to heal.
But the truth it’s that some scars are uglier than the wounds.
I'm not asking for a bouquet of flowers on my step door every single day
I haven't asked for handwritten poems on the daily or for you to have to pay
I never asked for the moon, the sun, the mountains or the bay
I was there when you built your garden
I helped you pick what plants to grow
I held your hand when you spoke of the harvest and all the meals we would share.
All for one, one for all.
Can't have one without the other.
Pain, hurt, desire, love.
All for one, one for all.
Can’t have one without the other.
My heart sank when you told me of your decision.
You were supposed to be
The one who would love me
and take care of my heart.
Love denied once again.
I still feel the pain, hurt, and suffering
From past and present relationships.
I still remember that day…
The day when Heaven cried.
When Heaven Cried.
Oh, When Heaven Cried.
That was the saddest day in September.
Their love was special.
I’m not angry at you
Ya know?
I might have been angry
Or sad
Or frustrated
Or some combination of that
Mixed with the feeling
of being utterly destroyed
But I was never angry at you
I can’t help but feel
That I will never stop writing
About this feeling
That I will never stop feeling
This in love
And this unloved
At the same time
It’s an emotion
If I’m being honest,
I’m not sure I’m strong enough.
We write poems and songs and stories
To convince ourselves to let go
To move on
That something better will come along
Each breakup is empowering
I began to write this poem
Telling myself it would be the last
The last one I wrote to you
The last one I wrote because of you
Your final one
But I lied
I realize now
You know, I wrote a poem about Tuesday’s once upon a time
It wasn’t a happy poem
It wasn’t a sad poem either
If anything it was a disgruntled poem
A poem about how Tuesday’s are the worst day of the week
Empty
This is the best way I can describe how I feel right now
How I feel knowing that it’s over
That our adventures are over
That the plans we made will never come to fruition
Imagine yourself inside the most beautiful building you have ever seen, within this building are memories that are irreplaceable, secrets that remain untold, feelings that have never been discovered by another, and your whole entire soul.
When you walked away, I never thought it would hurt
I never expected to wait for a text, a call, a sign you were still okay
I always thought that walking away will leave you out of my life for good, but I can't get rid of you
I am not going to sit here and pretend that I am okay,
Cause if I am being honest, it really changes and I have to take it day by day.
One day I go to bed smiling and I am still very hopeful for the future and what it can bring,
My heart is a hollow place
Where old dreams lie:
Smoking the opium of forgetfulness
Trying in vain to die.
I willed myself into a trance this summer,
And fell into a deep, enchanted slumber.
I met with her in a field of blooming wildflowers.
She stood there in her sky-blue dress
Amongst the sage,
And primrose,
Bluebonnet and paintbrush,
Dandelion,
And the tiniest white lilies.
I'm ok now.Mostly, that is.I still think about you.Sometimes it feels like you never left:Stalking the fringes of my dreams.
As embers in the night,
you set my heart on fire
intense and violent, wildly out of control
spreading intensely
i find myself lost in the thought, that is "you"
though maybe it was my own wishful thinking
I cry, but only by myself
Constantly I reminisce about us
Red was the setting sun, setting your silhouette ablaze
Your smile which shined brighter than any star
I keep wondering if you think about me still
Like the sun and moon
endlessly chasing after one another
giving warmth, one moment
a piercing bone chilling cold in the next
i chase after you still
my voice reaches out,
but I am not heard
I waited for you in the hallway
But I did not hear your voice
I waited for your call in the night
But my phone did not stir
I waited for your love
But it would never be mine
You see the the thing they don’t tell you about burning love
Is that nothing burns forever
Nothing burns without destruction
Or scars
A burning love is hot with passion
Fearsome with flashes of desire
I could never write love poems til I met you.
Could never describe how it felt to love
To love as deeply as I do
As I have
I could never write love poems without them becoming tear drops on the paper
I see your very tired
Life and love has beaten you down
The days have grown long and I want to hold you in my arms
They say hurt people hurt people
Everyone told me that I was crazy, but I so badly wanted to prove them wrong.
I feel like an idiot, for hoping that things would go the way that I wanted them to, and for holding on for so long.
If it were my birthday - by me
I know I wasn’t invited.
I know I wasn’t there.
But I wish you a happy birthday,
At 16 I diagnosed myself with mental pain
since then nothing was the same
I prayed to god everynight just to keep me sane.
At the age of 17 my pillow was my bestfriend
I wish I was a rich white lady who could eat pray love after a breakup, instead I choke down my food saying to myself 'good food', 'good food'
Memories is all I have to hold
But it’s too hard to let go
I felt alive
I felt in sync
I moved with the wind
They were the wind
I’m a goddess
In a garden of dead roses
Shhh
Don’t speak to loud
They hate when I expose its
True identity
Idolizing my failures
you left me high and dry
i didnt get to say goodbye
a loved one i could no longer love
fly away, you're a dove
no longer here, my imagination filling your place
Your touch is tattooed
On every curve
Your smile
Foggy amongst the autumn sun
I dream of your eyes
Sad and wandering
love
isnt it perculier
filling up the cages of ur heart
lifting it up into the sky
til it falls back down broken and alone
why cant it fly
couldnt we have known
how it would turn out
I hear love is an amazing thing All the hugs, kisses, and gifts. But what happens when the person I love betrays Me? Leaves Me stranded in a deep dark empty hole, Trying to escape, searching for help, But I can’t seem to find any. Shutting down, I
Oh why dont you love me
h why dont you look at me
like you used to look at her
like you used to smile at her
It’s getting bad again
How do I know?
I went to the doctors for mastitis,
If you don’t know
it’s a kind of infection,
Why do I feel
this way?
Why do I always give you the benefit of the doubt and never cut myself
the same slack?
words
spew and
You've moved on and that's great
But I'm still here missing your hugs
When we met I thought it was fate
Now I'm sitting here wondering where I messed up
Because was it me?
Was it you?
Oh to love love,Yet be stricken by its sharp pain at every end;I find myself stuck in this seemingly unbreakable cycle.I love to love those who I loveAnd then an end comes
There's a piece of my heart that still holds on to you.
The piece that equates neglect with value;
Abandonment with level of servitude.
The fairytale I never got to see come true.
For the losers who lost us. The people who loved us. The lucky people who get to meet us.
This is for you.
I don't have an attitude, just a personality you can't handle love.
For the losers who lost us. The people who loved us. The lucky people who get to meet us.
This is for you.
I don't have an attitude, just a personality you can't handle love.
I hate those days when the sun don’t shine
Makes me reflect on the days you were mine
So I hurry and close the blinds
So the rain doesn’t come down my eyes
sometimes the pain comes back
like the feeling of a missing limb
the scars of a heartbreak
that might never fully heal
it's hard to know what to write
how to write. why to write.
Long forgotten in the pages of your life,
What we had was a love like all the others
The build up to the break down.
Conversations of us wed, and I️ your loving wife
To some it may have seemed like I was doing nothingness -that I was not open enough to come to it -
that I was lonely and I was fronting,
but truthful when it comes to this;
My darling,
You make broken look beautiful.
And tears look like crowns.
The shards of your heart.
Are a weapon, no doubt.
You don't have to protect it.
Muscle battered and torn.
I was misguided.Interpreting all of my feelings wrong
I don't want to travel
I want to see world,In one person.And have them want me back, forever
Is it worse to fall in love?
Or to try your hardest not to love anymore?
Because lately, I’ve been leaning both ways
Trying to find enough will to stay awake
For the lost souls and the misguided in life
Let me shelter you from strife
Let me shepherd you to new light
Take up your own path and leave me
She was the most beautiful thing in the room
He gazed upon her radiance in awe of her,
Her eyes soon met his and he was engulfed by her warmth
For in her eyes he saw galaxies
Heartbreak.
They say it causes both emotional and physical exhaustion and pain...
That was enough to scare me away from it for so long-
Love I mean-
I never let myself fall hard enough to get hurt.
I let you,
I loved you,
and you
decided
to break me.
So as I build myself back up
I pray you work hard to become the man I know you can be.
One I deserve,
My heart said fuck this and went to find you,
It jumped right from my chest
On a noble mission to find it's home,
It grew tired of waiting,
There is a burning;
a fire of love in me.
It burns intensely for you.
Though you may try,
you will never extinguish it.
Wearing this crown of shit. Proud and shameless. I stand. I'm Standing tall. Here I stand. You will not make me fall. I will not crumple. I will not hesitate. As you spectators speculate. In an attempt to emulate. To only perpetuate. Some it may
When will I stop missing you so much
The thoughts in my brain are eating me up
I don’t know if I’ll ever feel enough for you
Or any one for that matter
Is she there now?
Laying next to you and tracing the little moles on your back like I used to?
i feel so weak.
i am a beggar pleading for change
from a man whose hands i'm afraid will never give to me again.
i only yearn for those few small tokens of affection.
LOVE TELLS NO LIES
Tell me what it's like
To see a sad man
From inside your eyes...
Do we know
How to say
I am sorry
Not to worry....
Show me the way....
Me and you in the feild of flowers
staring up and the giant towers
making up our story as we were going
though back then i didnt know the hatered flowing
I was happily skipping around
thinking we were bound
I feel it;
It's within my reach,
you are within my reach,
I reach out to you and I feel you closer to me-
Just within reach,
It feels like I am closer to you;
I can almost feel your smooth skin,
I want to die and that's not fairI wish I could get mad at myselfI don't have enough energy for thatpeople are dying everyday that don't want to diethat had more to accomplish with their life
People all around the world have been devastated by the coronavirus. Rarely do people want to look at or talk about the upside to this pandemic. My upside to being forced to stay home is a dark one.
do you find my presence in the music you hear,
the sceneries you discover,
the sunlight so brightly shining through your windows
or the scent the rain leaves on the ground,
sky of clouds
looms heavy over my head
like the weight of your love
pushing down on my shoulders.
streams of milky sugar
line the cotton-candy sunset
and it's a bittersweet feeling.
i was a full garment before i met you.
i may have had some loose strings,
but they were nothing that a pair of sewing scissors couldn't fix.
then you gave me that million-dollar smile.
All the expectations and love for you
Shattered and annihilated in a moment or two
Building the castles in air, I was
Pursuing you, was my biggest loss
Deep in your self, I have lost mine
My heart is very heavy,
Like it weighed a thousand pounds.
Like clouds turning dark and gray;
And it terrifies the ground,
And a large army abound.
Beep! Beep! Beep! Leave a message ---
For the heart you have dialed,
Is no longer in service.
I know certain people only have a certain time with each other,But even some are meant to last forever.I do not know when exactly our story will terminate,But I want you to know how much you made me great.
Am I mentally fucked up too?
I walk down the halls, the same paths you took,
The same paths that we conversed,
The same paths that we touched.
I still look for your beautiful face
Upon the crowded areas.
Dear ex-lover,
I wanted to taste the way you bleed
and just like in between the lines i read
no you didnt love me, didnt want this tree to suceed
To think of spring
in the dewy, humid morning
when love is brand new
and cherished like the sky of blue
she walks in front of you
not knowing where to begin
and where to end
she lends
I accidentally filled her mindwith serenading cicadasthat erupted on El Dia De Los Muertos,a piñata swarm of insects,their nightmarish candy formseating away all the love in the universe,
Hello, My name is....
you probly dont care.
I mean who am I?
A girl in a crowd...
I open up.
and you close.
My mind starts to wonder...
what couldve been if i said my name?
falling in life is like sunburn
at first you go bright red and feel warm all over
then it starts to hurt to move
but soon it'll settle and either become a part of you
or it'll peel away
thoughts,
They say familys deeper than blood
but how can you hurt someone you love
Saw them grow up
that not enough
The pain in their heart
but their not giving up...
I want a future that is both yours and mine.
I want to have dinner parties on the porch and drink wine while the twinkle lights shine.
there’s been so many times where i debated whether or not i should manifest you back into my life, but honestly? i really wouldn’t know what to say to you after years of being apart.
Been thinking too much about you
And its filling me with dread
My soul is screaming for its mate
Cant silence the noise in my head
You cut me deep once before
Im still trying to stop the bleeding
I Fall down onto my knees
I look up into your eyes
I can see you praying to the heavens
Set a fire in my heart
Don’t you know I want you
When the windeth blows, it's ev'r so cold
But nev'r as such within mine soul
F'r thoust claim'd I'm dark withineth
But I hast not commit'd sineth
Shall clouds rolleth in, I dear proclaim
It all started one day,
and I had no clue
of what was coming my way
I can't believe it's true.
I was told it would happen,
he said "me"
I said "I"
then he kissed my neck
and whisperd "Us"
In that moment words
were sacred beings
my holy grail.
Stronger than any god
I felt my kness give in
Hey, is this okay?
Can I sleep here for the night?
Do you mind at all?
Am I bothering you?
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.
She clings to me; like a button on my plaid shirt.
Sewn in strategically.
Gradually withering away in her fibers
But holding on for the life of her.
My hands are soaked in sweat but I cant interrupt her steady breath.
It’s cold here, all alone.
The fan is off but I’ve never felt so cold.
Am I destined to stay here, wasting away?
Spending my days cold and alone.
We were running
our breaths raspy
you could see my heart
in my breast
It seemed innocent
but you had a wicked grin
poision was running in your veins
you fainted
You did it, you really left
I guess I asked for this
I just didnt think it would be this way
My heart was ripped out today
You're gone for good
Gone too soon
I never had a chance to tell you
He knows.He knows that I'm already bleeding I've already fallen,I can't defend myself when it comes to him.
My life has been on hold for so long I didn’t even realise
No progress has become the new norm
While I sit here and wait for you to love me
Like once upon a time when we were both so young
Back when the palms of his hands
weren’t scarred by calluses
and his feet were as nimble
as the sticks of a percussionist,
he danced with her in a space
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder,
And being apart from somelike you has made my mind wander.
I am constanty wondering what you are doing during this time,
the raindrops on my cheeks
they go and come new
though i'm stuck in a dream
reminiscing of you
A day will come,
When I shall be stronger,
To look at the mirror again.
And say to you,
Have overcome you,
You're no longer my shadow.
Am done with you,
For good!
And never coming back.
The dark eyed mom is here again.
I hope she’s not here to stay.
There will be no meals or good-time feels
And no, This mom don’t play.
You know, I can see it in your face
Your just a machine
A slave to your desire
You’re so black and blue
Yesterday, you said you wanted this
Today, you don’t want to live
I'm so tired of being the one that has to be okay all the time
I'm so over being the one that always has to take a deep breath and trek on
I'm tired of wearing a mask for everyone else while I die on the inside
He’s a bad boy and a gentleman too
Thrilling me in the prime of my youth
Ride and love and bum around
i had hope
for a happy ending
happily ever after
but really my world is twisting and bending
i thought our love would last
but really now its just in the past
I would rather hate you then love the idea of you.
That's the world I've been inhabiting for the last few months.
My stream has emptied into the sea of your emotions,
and I am tossed around in the malestrom of your moods.
I brought you a gift—
a star
from my travels
through space and time.
Unsatisfied,
you asked for the sun instead
With no regard
for the burns on my hands.
My scars run deeper than my irrevocable love
For he who cuts me deepest just to see if I still bleed
His thirst strengthens as he watches the life drip from me
Insatiable, he whittles away til he reaches my bones
Walking away
He turned a new chapter
Behind my back
I hear a sobbing laughter
Hold back your tears
Tighten your fist
Don’t show her your scared
I don’t need to look
Shine…
Shining her light she burns the feeling of hopelessness to ashes
Putting the feelings of insecurity and anxiety into the flames of don’t try me
Broken boy
who revels in pain
lives a life
where only pieces remain
Fragments of what he was
of all he was meant to be,
Being in love is like being a surfer on the biggest wave on your carreer.
It's scary at first,
not knowing if you're ready for it.
But once you're in it,
it is a high that no drug could ever match.
I miss you.
I know that I shouldn't,
God knows that you’ve caused me enough pain
But that doesn’t stop my heart from reaching out to you in the night,
I can swallow
I can swallow two pills
At the same time
And it gives me a thrill
Mixing my meds
I find it addictive
Hue grows strong/hue dies weak
Baby bird bites its beak
Fragile nest in a creek
Sticks and stones, bugs and leaves
Fingers, hands, hair and hearts
you decided i needed open heart surgery
so you found the dullest blade you could
and began to rub it against my chest
until the skin finally began to tear
i’m all alone in this glass house
Swallowing jack under a pink sky
there’s blood on the driveway
keeping a knife in the pocket of my jeans
i’m all alone in this glass house
Swallowing jack under a pink sky
there’s blood on the driveway
keeping a knife in the pocket of my jeans
i can drown myself
in alcohol
it never really
helps at all
no matter how much shit
i inhale through my nose
shackles and chains and being tied up in you
wrists glowing crimson like the sunset
on an ocean of razor blades, the ones you dropped in there
before i began to swim
coke and acid and weed and girls that weren’t me
but you were my only drug
my only addiction
and to you, to you my drug of choice,
to you I was loyal
Love is all in vain
The vulnerability
Romanticized
There is nothing romantic about this pain
There is nothing i love about hurting
Just one short embrace
Enough to make me crave more
You walk far away
I can't seem to remember
A time you were here with me
I know you've seen the empty cave
That echoes deep regret
For time lost here casts darker shadows
Than memory's silhouette
Why did you invite her
The night before our last
Why did you invite her
I had a whole night planned
Why did you invite her
I was going to take you to the moon
Why did you invite her
I miss the quiet
When my brain wasn't on fire
and I was still a person
My heart is open
so you tie it
Cutting of the circulation to every
nerve inside of my body
You're laying bricks on my chest
I'm wearing them like a bulletproof vest
I'm trying to breathe but my lungs feel like concrete
My heart rate drops and there's barely a heartbeat
She inspires me
in the way she walks
how gracious her voice is as she talks
the magic she carries and shares wherever she goes
She inspires me
in the way she walks
how gracious her voice is as she talks
the magic she carries and shares wherever she goes
I can feel your heart beat in mine own.
Our breaths rise and fall as one,
Flowing and receding like the tide.
Our minds surge with the energy of a thousand suns,
it was as though he was helium,
and I just happened to be an empty balloon.
often we found nothing but tedium,
you promised we'd make it
your love, you promised you wouldn't fake it
the thought of me leaving, you said you could't take it
yet it was you who left
me in the place you promised i'd never be again
warmth.
embrace, it's something i lack.
i'll be without, you won't come back.
hate.
love, it's all an illusion.
at this point it's all confusion.
fate.
heres to you
i can pretend that i am not lying here heart broken
that im not listening to music on repeat and sobbing into my blankets
i can pretend it doesnt hurt
Tick tock
Biological clock
So selfish of you to take so much time to decide
To say it is over
Don't you know there are deadlines
I must keep?
My plans have fallen apart
You took my paper-mache heart all fixed up with glue,
And showered it in your great tears of rue,
The tears, the tears became fountains of blue,
They puddled and puddled and slowly grew,
A godsend boy and a angelic girl on a field
with nothing but promises of love and adventure.
The whimper of being chilly on the summer evening
was subdued by the rhythm of his mouth on hers,
To Him.
To Her.
To the beginning.
To the End.
To the things I want to un-know.
His dad’s old guitar that he picked up and tried to play with little to no success.
Heartbreak can only get worse
It feels like a huge curse
It's also like when you can't find anything in your purse
It breaks
When they make mistakes
Or if they're a snake
“A disastrous war will lead to our freedom.”
Or so, you say.
“There is no path. It’s the only way.”
Fight to the bitter end
This is the end,
our forever love.
I was so wrong.
You were silent,
I was hopeful.
You left me,
A fresh leaf of paper, never used
Placed before voracious palms
The paper takes in each and every anxious qualm
He scribbles his notes between the lines
Hidden meaning behind mendacious eyes
I fell for you like the rain;
Gradually and slowly in almost an intricate pattern.
Where the drops are unnoticeable and cease to affect the worlds balanced ways.
I feel like a bubble of emotion
Floating in the ease of your presence
But I think I am always waiting
For the inevitable "POP"
And knowing it wouldn't be possible
To put us back together
It’s hard to think of just one thing,
When I consider all that this life will bring
What has inspired me,
What has set me free?
i don’t want to know what you think,
you don’t care, you’re mind is blowing
like the wind but eventually you sink
into your heart and it’s showing,
You hurtin?
I’m not saying you not entitled to the pain
But let’s remember who chose that path
Baby I wanted you
Think of me fondly when we've said goodbye.
True, I'm on my own, but
please don't start to cry.
A little fall of rain will make the flowers bloom...
Oh, love me,
Adopted honest behavior
but it's easier to lie about it.
Though we're now strangers,
I still cry about it.
Will I ever see you again?
I highly doubt it.
Wrote out the letters
of your name,
Love is blind when you don't really know what it is.A beautiful bliss,Or is that just a myth?When you've truly found your person, What a gift.It's a reciprocal language but,
I was feeling so confident and feeling so great about myself
And then it just be completely shattered.
By one thing.
By something so stupid.
But then you make me feel crazy.
A fountain of love letters;
ardent, over-exhausted,
bursting at the seams with pure affection,
unfurling out upon
It’s always you
You’re my alarmclockIf it weren’t for youI’d never get out of bed
You’re my air‘Cause I just can’t breathe without you
You’re my hobbyBecause spending time with you never bores me
Attachment is too risky
Attachment is a universal sign of something that can be broken
Whether it be from love, hardship, differences
he loves her so desperately and that she knew.
all he can ever ask for is maybe a hungout and that was sometimes too much
My mind doesn’t think of what’s wrong,
but the pit in my stomach does.
It aches and churns as I lay in bed that night
rolled over onto my stomach
I never expected to find trust and love so quick
My past temptations have left my heart in a cold abyss
I cling to him because he makes me feel
the taste on my tongue
of bitter words
that could leave you stung
the fire in my heart
of frustrated feelings
that would lead me to fall apart
the thoughts in my head
dressed in blue
I feel golden
dancing with you
my heart holden
high heeled shoes
I feel beautiful
dancing with you
moments so meaningful
posed together
I'll arrive early enough
but it's always tough
to notice you since fifteen
as you come old and green
no matter how hard I try every morning
you always wake me with loud warnings
just in time for fall
you lose your green tint
left with no leaves at all
questioning where your life went
leave me high and dry
in the middle of the night
counting my reasons to cry
until the stars fade into daylight
the sun's rays will fill me with hope
to step off of the tightrope
in the morning Anxiety accompanies me
as my shadow in the day
yelling at me all my insecurities
but it's okay
in the night Depression welcomes me
in my bed as I lay
thank the moon
for being my company tonight
maybe think I'll be fine soon
thank the sky
for crying with me tonight
maybe think I'll finally say goodbye
It's that time of year again
When ghouls come out to play
Where zombies and witches converse in a new civilized way
But your skeletons in the closet
They'll stay there another year
Not every puzzle has a piece
Not every beat has a song
Notes not all have a rhyme
Some are leading mistakes
Some just give u heart ache
Living in ignorance I live in ignorance,I tend not to think.If the truth hits me,It's hard to live. When the thoughts in my mind,Reminds me of whatever isn't mine,I divert ny attention, The pain in another direction. Sometimes my eye catches a fe
Teary eyes, silent cries.
Numb body, aching heart.
Palid face, hidden scars.
All these emotions , you dont feel .
If you wanted to see how far
you could take it before i broke.
Darling you should have looked closer.
I was already broken
I have never experienced love
At least not the kind that I give that goes beyond and above
Now your back in my life trying to ask, What’s Up?
It's the little things that plague my mind.
Like the way your eyes crinkle when you smile
or the way you laugh after a bad joke.
The way your hand fit perfectly in mine
Everyone always tells me I have a way with words.Yes, my pen scribbles almost uncontrollably, when I picture you, and how I like to describe who you are, and how much an acquaintence could possibly mean to me.
i've been trying to forget you
i've done an awful job
i'm crying once again
at clair de lune.
i'm just so tired and angry
and summer is closing in on me
i wish i could just stop thinking about that dumb boy
all fucking day
i'm wasting away
i want you to tell me i'm the girl
you can't get out of your head
your muse
your motivation
the only one that matters at the end of it all
before grabbing my face and kissing me slowly
I would give him up a thousand time just to have you
So dear, doll, darling,
Why do I feel like I'm losing you?
My heart is still yours if you want it
it's up for grabs
Hanging by the hooks on the back of my door
Waiting to be picked in the garden beside my house
Sent in a letter, sealed with a kiss
I watched a boy grow
smart and sweet
how was I to know
my heart would shatter at my feet?
a few times we danced
our eyes never meeting
too nervous to get the chance
You look at me
and it's for the first time, mind you
and with all you can see
you miss my snakes hissing from the top of my head
So I look down at you
because it's the first time for me too
Spent my childhood playing around in sandboxes
Gripping onto grass crying with desperation to keep from going home
My father prying on my tiny arms because he didn’t understand
The heart's a fragile instrument
but shatters if it's played.
A tiny bump will leave a dent
and make the colour fade.
So baby tell me what's up.
Why are things getting rough.
When I try to text or call you, ya' never pick up.
It's such a shame, I gotta take the blame.
You only think that love is a silly little game.
Shadows splay across my face
where your fingers used to play,
Absence of the kiss
that would warm my lips,
In your grip as we stared into the abyss
You say I'm like water
That can mean many things
Water can be smooth and calm
Gentle, cool to the touch
Water doesn't stay in one place
It doesn't settle down much
he could grip his hands around my throar, and push down until
oxgen
was nothing, but a far away dream,
and still
all he would have to do is say its this, or you'll never feel my lips again
I felt love in all the wrong places.
I felt love underneath my clothes. Not in my heart, but the curl in my toes.
I loved the way you loved my body. You loved the way I said, "I'm sorry."
She could spread her wings with the birds and the bees and follow the sun as they became one
Rays of fire soaking through her pores and wrapped around her bones it lifts her up higher than everyone else
If hustle and bustle
Is all that we know,
Then what do you do when
There's nowhere to go?
With lights aglow
And hearts below
How can we not
Want somewhere to go?
Last night you called;
I love you was written in your pupils
I'm sorry on your lips
Don't leave in your eyebrows
I miss you in your eyelashes
When you're rushing back and forth in desperation,You will find me
When you're so in over your head at night under your blanket,
I thought it was love
that fleeting look of appreciation in your eyes
made me feel like I could be enough
why did it take me so long to realize you lied?
I wanted you to love me
no, I craved it
Is that my heart in your pocket or are you just happy to hurt me?
What’s a masterpiece like you doing with a disaster like me?
Hey, you see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m stable?
You know how frost spreads on a window? A collage of crystals forming in unique shapes and sizes. Stretching out at a steady speed til it encompasses the whole window in ice. Or how a fire burns a sheet of paper.
They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Yet grass continues to grow every time it is cut. The sun continues to rise every time the moon has pulled it away.
Do you know?
Do you know what happens to a fish without water?
Do you know what happens to a fire without air?
Do you know what happens to the trees without sun?
I am drifting, a lonely piece of driftwood covered in pale moonlight on an open sea. I don’t know where I am going nor where I came from, but I am drifting. I feel hollow, empty like a piece of me is gone and it can’t be replaced.
There once was a peaceful creature hidden away in a sweet cedar forest. The forest was ancient with beautiful features, but never a stranger or tourist
I wish I could tell you
I have something to say
But when I finally try to
You walk far away
The somethings a secret
That only I know
I tried hard to keep it
But it’s starting to show
You have changed me,
into this girl,
she is needy,
and demands attention of any kind.
- A woman who wants her man to want her
- someone who craves excess,
high is never high enough.
What if I could live in a world in which I never fell for you? What if I never fell for you? What if I never fall again? Never feel the scrape of my knees hitting earth again.
Do you remember the days, the nights, the adventures we always used to share? Flying away on wings of laughter that were built on mutual care. Five good friends and lots of fun was all I used to need.
Like a dog who chases after his tail, I chased after you.
I know it was something different for you but just like you, I was scared too.
As I fall,
I wonder if there is anyone who will catch me, love me, make me feel like I’m wanted
Sometimes I ask myself, “damn am I haunted?”
Because it’s like a chain reaction… domino effect
The cold fingers of your memories cling to the back of my neck, to the back of my mind the same way the tears grab at my eyes. The scent of you burns my nose, the same way the images of you laying next to me floods my dreams.
A delirious soul I am,
Constantly yearning for the love I can never attain,
Why must my heart ache for those who it will never reach?
the memories of you have burned a hole into my brain,
theyve singed my hair,
painted the walls ash-grey.
i asked if i could burn the sweatshirt
but it wasnt your face i was looking at,
Our last dying rose
The thorns that hold the grace but
Love knows no way to survive because
He sits so close,
but the silence turns the inches into miles and
every slight noise causes an avalanche in my chest
as I wait for him to say something.
Anxious Reticence.
I have changed so much.
It all began when I started to like boys.
But little did I know, those were all decoys.
They told me sweet nothings as if I was one of their toys.
My lips are grasping for that last I love you
wrapped around your breathless voice.
It’s breaking my bones but I’m so desperate not to let go.
It’s kept me on my feet for so long,
Heart Breaking
Tear Inducing
My world stopped when you left
Sleepless Nights
Numb Feelings
I couldn’t pick myself back up
I wanted to forget
I wanted to stop existing
All together
hey
howve you been?
it feels as if we havent talked in a while
what are you doing?
you seem busy
I’ve always thought of heartbreak
As something from failing romances,
But I am learning with such a high stake:
Heartbreak does not discriminate against acquaintances.
You are no longer at my side. You are gone, the one who promised me you were here to stay.
I mourned in the weeds, damaged and broken.
Strength lost.
Sunlight producing no more color for me.
Tokens
Every boy I know has left a piece of them in my life
And
Some have taken chunks of my mental
Emotional
Sanctifying being
Replaced by materials
Tokens
To love you now is to love you then;
adopting a ticking time bomb and calling it my best friend.
Forgetting that the fuse was lit,
you meet these people
on the path of life
as lovers, as friends, as family
as something entirely different
sometimes they stay,
Here we are
You across from me
You’re back is all that I see
And she’s holding the trophy
The mistakes I have made are my own
Drugs were addicting. I suppose I enjoyed seeing everything and feeling nothing. Though I did kind of feel alive - to be staring into the face of the Grim Reaper. He once wrapped his hands around my throat.
He broke me.
It happened again,
I knew it would!
I warned him,
I told him!
He let me believe him,
I shouldn’t have though.
People ask if I’m okay,
“I’m fine.”
I say it but it really means
“I’ve fallen apart.”
People ask me how I’m doing,
“Good.”
9-5-18
there was a time i really thought we were going to be together forever.
and the reasons that we aren't are bull shit.
sixteen
Lips on lips, never felt more sure,
that I'd give myself up and make me your own.
The sunlight could not compare
to the glistening specks of hazel;
One, Two, Three, Four ,,,,
thatʼs how many came before you,
youʼd think earlier i wouldʼve made a breakthrough
but instead iʼve decided to push through,
a few days agoi wanted to sit down and write about how unappreciated you werenot that i changed my mind, noi still believe thatbut todaytodayi'm hurti'm hurt that
I wish someone told me that heartbreak isn’t easy to get through.
I wish someone told me that everything in your life leads up to something.
I can recall-perfectly,
A Time,
Made of Gold
Not the gold,
That you both laced around me,
binding my neck and wrists.
I am empty
Numb
My life is in shambles lying on the floor
I cannot move
Abandoned promises
Shattered dreams
The thought of you haunts me
Even when I sleep
Im sorry I grew up mom
I’m sorry I’m not your little girl anymore..But no matter how many times you try to deny that it’s me and I need to change Frankly you have no say in this matter....
It burns through us all, every person on the planet.
It is a fast and fearless monster. Stopping the force of the creature seems impossible.
I didn't even feel you beating out of my chest.
You must not have turned the light out when you left.
Heather Angelika Dooley ©2006
Don't Rub Salt in the Heartbreak
It took nothing to realize
she knew everything she
never let herself realize.
She always loved those
who didn’t deserve her.
The lesson here was:
You never win
A train pulled through my heart and let you off.You pushed your loco... motives...into my life,
I fell in love once,
It was a wonderful feeling,
I felt like I was loved,
Like I mattered,
Like someone in the world cared about me.
I was so broken
You’re stuck in my mind,
Your old laugh,
Your smile
Things I can’t leave behind
It’s impossible to say I’m happy
He loved not once but twice,
And both times it ended badly,
Both times he paid the price
And his story ends sadly.
He was young and untested,
I am the bolt of lightning,
Shocking, fast, and gone in an instant.
I create a smoking crater,
But of who left it I leave no hint.
I am the stormy ocean,
... and I keep pondering
over your 2 seconds
Who are you
and
Why do you bother to dissapoint me again?
after so long?
My short, silky pigtails were brushing
through the wind while you pushed me on the swings,
since my little legs couldn’t swing myself.
A rose by any other name
Has thorns that are just as sharp.
An ocean in any other day
Will drown you if you try to run.
To all the ones I ever loved,
I felt the sting of your betrayal.
I felt the love you claimed to have.
I know how much time you had to put into building you're mask.
You hold my hands
Wrap the gauze around my bruised knuckles,
Whisper me pieces of words
For my mind to create
Into stained-glass portraits.
How ironic it is,
I remember the sight of you,
I hear the timbres of your voice.
I’ve known you,
For a long while.
How ironic it is,
That life gave you to me,
Before snatching you away.
Hurting so bad that I smother
Seeing I’m stuck in the gutter
Weeping without one another
Stranded with nothing to plunder
How could you make me feel like i was the center of your universe,
While reminding me that the sun too, will eventually die,
It seemed as though you wanted to assist in this death,
i.
you were petals i oncesubmerged — a fistful i letgo of under a foggy seawhen i was succumbingto myself
I loved you how only a Midwesterngirl would love a tornado warning.I didn’t want the sunshine; Iwanted wild, whirling,in-the-moment April
Then
he took the respect she had for Herself
and the wonders from the earth around Her
he took her her kindness
and what seemed, the air from Her lungs
he took Her curiousity
There is always that one person.
that no matter how much
time has passed,
no matter how many times you cried--
and told yourself
that they didn't matter;
when you see their face--
Dear Itzmir,
We started out as friends, then we became more than what we started out as.
Our relationship was texts that went on all night, we would be on the phone for
Please don't cause me depression.
Am not begging you to make you feel inferior over me, or make look like a kid who lost the compass to the future.
But please listen to me while I still have a voice to say something.
“I do not love you anymore.”
My heart ached, begging for a night in, a tub of ice cream.
Liquor, warm and hot, running down my throat.
Tears, running from the past down my cheeks.
“I do not love you anymore.”
My heart ached, begging for a night in, a tub of ice cream.
Liquor, warm and hot, running down my throat.
Tears, running from the past down my cheeks.
My life is one great symphony,
So listen to its melody.
The drumbeat is my heartbreak,
The violins are my sorrow,
The low brass proclaims my rage,
It all happened so fast.
The rise and fall.
The thrill of it all.
Life seemed to know we needed to awaken into the reality around us,
snow queen
iced and blue
my heart is hurting
dripping icicles
pause
refreeze.
what kind of love is this?
fuck.
fuck the kind of love
that doesn’t bring you peace.
I am the open book that no one cares to read.
Will you lower my body and shovel the dirt on my face?
Will you look into a dead man's eyes?
I dreamt of your warmth once.
Your hand on mine.
It is not just one, there are many, one for each you
Wounds, Hurt
One for each absence
How much you? How much me? How much of us?
How much time and absence on this goodbye?
It is bittersweet.
I miss taking you to eat
and I miss rubbing on your feet.
I miss having someone to trust
and to be vulnerable with and to lust
after..
You'd eat my broccoli and I'd eat your crust.
If I was a tree, I’d be a lonely one
Waving at people as they go by
It’s a hot afternoon, the rays of the sun
Make me grow up, but this tree will still cry
50 years later, of standing so still
There once was a star, way up high
The star is sad, he starts to cry
The star looks up and sees her eyes,
The star is happier, he doesn’t know why
The star is very far away
Let me tell you a tale
As I try not wail
Take a seat, grab a cocktail
And hear my story unveil
I was once a small kid
And heaven forbid
That I ever bat an eyelid
or ever hurt a squid
Only if
These Tears You Caused
Were a pathway
And these drugs I did made a sign
Then Maybe
Maybe you would be in my life
I’m just not the same
Where’s the picture for my frame
Where’s the candle for my flame
I just am not right
Where’s the sun to bring me light
Where’s the pen so I can write
My hands are shaking, my heart is breaking.I can't breathe at all, it feels like I might fall.My head is spinning, there is no more winning.Just hurt and pain, no more to gain.I can't break free, from the pain that is me.I hurt, I ache, I sob, I s
And it was after you I realized why the lord made angels in heaven far away from humans.
I fell to my knees aching to touch those fluttering wings on your back
im not exactly sure how it began or when it started, all i remember is that you were distant towards me for what seemed like the second week in a row since we last actually tal
My first love was a boy whose beauty could have put Aphrodite's to shame
For his eyes glimmered in the sun like gems
And his smile beamed so brightly it flocked dozens to him
But this boy stuck to my side
Bloom. Life begins to zoom.
Growing up too soon.
Been six years in school.
Not my first crush but closest
to first love.
Went through things no kid ever should've.
Years of off and on revealed to be
Can I?
Can I love you
and still let you go?
It feels so wrong.
Like if I'm not still hanging
on to every word that's no
longer meant for me,
then I don't love you
and never did.
Graceless, the sinking soils,
a cold thorn between Venusian thighs
Had pierced her bud so aggressively,
Despite my vociferous efforts,
To keep him away:
Above the lands, I find the tattered remains of letters
One day...
One day you wake up;
You open your eyes.
Everything blurs;
Everything turns black and white.
Ash surrounds your senses;
All you feel is numb,
Numb pain,
Honestly, I fell for you;
I fell for you hard, like nothing else mattered.
You were on my mind day and night and everything in between;
An assassin of emotions & a murderer of spirits should not be blessed with such a melodious snicker & silvery mumble He should not have hair the shade of honey for he is not as sweet as such His smile should not sparkle as the stars do for
That heavy cigarette scent, intertwined with his cologne, lingered in the little space between us.
My mother taught me valuable things. She taught me to treat everyone as equals whether they clean the toilets or sit in a shiny new office on the top floor.
Baby girl whered you go
Planned a date but you dont know
Bought them tickets to the show
Come to me so we can flow
Last night i dreamed about you
Forever with you, you know this is true
My love, you are my everything and my nothing at all;
you are my dream and my nightmare;
you may be my happiness and yet the cause of my depression.
You are my never-ending purgatory:
So stuck inside my brain
I feel like it's driving me insane
Can’t breath, can’t see
I’m not who I was, not even me
I accept any company,
I try to make myself feel good,
I cry anytime I'm alone
It doesn't feel right if I don't,
I don't talk about my day,
I don't talk about my feelings,
The Strike
The Final Blow
My word?
No.
No was used
to stop the abuse
No was said
to blow out the fuse.
The fuse of anger
had turned to grief,
and the fuse
You and I. A million things that could've been and that might still come to be,One hundred things in those three words that can be read between the lines,
There was once a time I could look at your face,
let myself stand there, when I knew what you did
I was silent then,
And then I wasn't, not anymore
And when I opened my mouth you asked me,
Wild, crazy beast;
they say he cannot be tamed.
Unpredictable as the rising tides,
impulsive as the wind...
I see myself in him.
As the wind blows and the sun cuts my eyes
My vision begins to fail me.
Maybe I take things too serious.
Now I fail at love again.
It all comes back to me.
You really cared.
We have a light in our hearts
Those dreams that have made us stars
But you've been staying out having fun
Time and time again
You said those games would end
You're a picky one
What have you done to me?
Got wandering the streets at 3 AM.
Knowing you're laying with another man.
Got my will, fight, and strength in the palm of your hand.
I am foolish to fall in love
What is it about you that leaves me out of my mind?
All alone in the dark reaching out for a sign.
Remember when you were all all mine.
Resurrect my smile.
Resurrect Me.
i need someone whose gonna love me and nurture me during my ups and downs For i cannot walk this path by myself But it seems falling in love and settlin is not the plan mother venus has Forget fallin in love just being loveful is how im gettin do
The smile so beautiful, so enchanting that no one sees the pain and the anger in the eyes
or the tears falling to the cheeks.
They're all busy looking at the smile.
"Be strong. Be happy."
What does going through a breakup
and being cheated on
and being betrayed feel like?
It feels like I have to wake up every
morning with a smile on my face and
They asked me what are some different types of drugs
For me a drug isn't cocaine or pills it's a person
He is my drug
He is what I got addicted to
He is what makes me feel like i'm floating
I don’t know how to write about you and tell the truth.
Bare bones, hands shaking, nothing left to do but fill the page.
I don’t think I’m at that stage.
Oh Oviedo, Florida
How I adore you
I’ve never seen you
But I know where you are
Jacquelyn and Amanda
Talk of road trips heading West
Tired bone and sorrowed hand,
Make of thee all that you can.
Build thy life of hope and tear,
Of all thy love and all thy fear.
In my dreams
Is the only place
I can be with you
Without remorse
Or pain
In my dreams I am full of life
And love
And hope
Happy
And home
with you
Heartbreak,
It’s inevitable
No way around it
But the joy of the happiness
Before the pain
Is almost worth it
I noticed you,
Walk with her this morning,
Hand in hand
She’s very pretty,
Match your own beauty
Who is she?
Is she the last person you think,
Before you go to sleep?
From afar I saw it,
Flying with its gorgeous wings
Among the flowers
But when I touch it,
It flew away
The butterfly is just like you,
She didn’t know,
What would happen,
when he came to her life
She wasn’t aware
That she slowly changed,
to another person for him
Her face is broken with tears,
Her heart is shattered with grief.
Holding no sympathy, his face was blank.
His heart is cold and dark.
Love destroyed them,
i cried
i cried so much
i cried so much, over him
he hurt me
he he doesn’t hang out with me
he touched her
he was only supposed to touch me
he did our thing with her
I don’t know why I do this to myself
Consistently putting myself through hell
You on my mind and my heart on my sleeve
Every time I’d ever misconceive
They say she once smelled of burning ashwood and cinnamon.The smoky aroma enveloped her being year round,
It’s taken about five years to understand what exactly Love
Is,
Was,
And could be
Let me begin the story of what once our love was
Laughter, Grace, Death, Beauty, Deep rooted Emotion
My friend, you betrayed me.
What relief there is in that simple statement!
Your actions so entirely obliterated
Your pillar of my world that your betrayal
Has lost its sting and I am left without a doubt:
there is a photoof you and ihanging on my walllost in the clusterof my favorite memoriesa photo breaking my heartbut i cant take it downyou're still my favorite memorycollecting dust.
here is what i know:
you loved meand i you.i wrote about youas if you hung the moon in the sky.as if you created a world of color a world of beauty.a world for us.
I wish she tasted like cherry
A hopeless, cliche, passion
So I don the cherry chapstick
For a bittersweet illusion
Her velvety lips are strawberry
I don't mind strawberry
Air is an acquired taste
That most want to breathe
But my own air is two parts heartbreak
One part grief
It burns my lungs
It burns my lips
It burns my tongue
December 10th, 2018.
A horrible memory.
Sadness swells.
Tears start to fall.
To everyone else that day is just a day.
To me,
That day was the worst day of my life.
Winter passes.
cOaStEr
a lost girl, unwanted in a world of wanting
he’s. the. ONE.
that made me fall in love
to not see him smile
Someone moves;
I flinch and instantly my mind is pulled back to how you were.
~awatr
I could hear the wind,
rustling through your veins, when
you opened your mouth and the gnarled wings of a hummingbird fell out.
I could taste the regret,
deep breath, deeper, deeper yet, deeper than the ocean of your
eyes that keep calling me home, calling me back back to the
I loved her, she said I convinced
Her otherwise
That broke my heart
Was she my sweetheart?
I’m not sure..
Do I still love her now?
Of course I do, but I was a fool
it started so sweet,
i actually thought you cared about me.
but now i see these were things you wanted me to believe
we were living in a fantasy, a world of make believe
full of smiles and laughter,
you think you can play with my heart
boy i’m not a fucking harp.
you think u can treat me like shit
sexualize me just to submit.
i’m not a part of your little game,
your big charade
shivers down my spine
at the thought of you leavin' me behind
after all that we have been through
you made me think it was always gonna be me and you
now, as you head for the door
You were there when I needed you the most…
When I was breaking under pressure,
Like a sapling overburdened with snow.
I always thought of myself as a mighty oak,
i will never wish for you to come back.
or even to visit.
i will only spare my love and all good energy,
but keep it at a distance.
Snowflakes quiver on the
edge of something new,
knew there would be no return afterwards.
The snow collected and stuck together
-birds of a feather-
the land grew cold,
I see it there, a beautiful rose,
though now only a tiny green bud shows.
It will slowly blossom into an elegant flower,
that represents love on the midnight hour.
It’s lovely petals so delicate and thin,
I was never complete to you,
the scattered mess of unspoken words and boiling emotions
was far too much to piece together by your own hands.
The thing about broken mirrors..
Is they tend to mirror other things..
Like your heart after a fall..
After you give it your all..
I’m the type to creep up on your mind at 3 in the morning
Leave you in wonder if you should hit my line or let me be
The impact I have on you leaves you wondering what it could be
If it would be
If it should be
I Gave Up So Much For One BOY.
I Lost Myself.
I Gave My Heart, Mind, And Body To One BOY.
I Lost Myself.
I carry it with me
Wherever I go
Beats now and then
Always too slow
I hope it beats once again
I’ll give it back to you, and we’ll be just friends
So here is your heart
Keep it safe my dear
When the rain has dried on windows, do you think of me?
The aftermath of a downpour
Nothing but a resin left, ugly, tainted
Or do you hire the cleaners out? wipe away any memory, start fresh
New windows
And just like the serpent tempted Adam and Eve with the forbidden apple,
the burning desire for you to be mine led me into your coils of damnation.
Hello darling
How are you
I think it's time we left the zoo
Stop looking at them and focus on you
After all you are becoming brand new
Your pain needs to heal
And then you can feel
But for now,
My mind, much like our population, was overcrowded and
easily won over by the simplest romance.
~awatr
I cannot help but picture you in a garden,
laying amongst the wildflowers.
~awatr
my thousand pound heart
lie dormant in my chest
feeble now from the effort
bumbling softly through my sweater
I don’t notice the warmth anymore
cold wind stings my cheeks red
At that moment,
I let you go.
I felt my heart let you go.
And it was the most refreshing feeling I have ever felt.
I still love you -
But I'm not your prisoner.
and I never will be again.
when you say my name, you say it like a poem you will never write.babylon boy, when i whisper your name in the pale moonlight,
I need to stop falling in love
with people who set a fire in me
only to get themselves warm;
and to watch me
slowly,
burn away
Heartbreak is my greatest muse. When all I can do is think about you, why shouldn’t I write it all down? It’s my thoughts and my feelings too. I still see in my dreams almost every night. You live in my heart but not in my life.
I have a question for you.
How can two people who thought they were going to be together forever,
how can two people who had what we had
end up like this?
Dancing on the floor
Singing cheerful songs
The world rotates for each movement that is made
Stained in vibrant hue are the lights that illuminate the room
I could see her face
Deep in the storm clouds
Smiling at me
Saying “Come here,” but how?
I got the crew to safety
Told them to go to their wives
But I couldn’t go
I remember crying myself to sleep,
seeing no hope for the future.
If only Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother could see
the damage they inflict on me.
Tonight I lay here listening to the crickets, while you lay there listening to her breathe.
You fall asleep with no thoughts of me, all the while I'm wide awake thinking about all the things I could've said to make you stay with me.
why do you expect me to be okay?
to be okay with your actions,
to be okay with what you say
i'm not
why do you expect me to forget?
the words you told me,
the words you said
i can't
It never works,
And I'm an idiot for trying.
I feel like you've unpopped the corks,
'Cause I'm suddenly crying.
your presence opened up a new ray of sanguinity
that enveloped my soul into a layer of diminished sanctuary
that i embraced wholeheartedly and nourished like a decaying flower
You don't love me.You want to love mebut You don't love me.
I don't know why I helpI'm the one who needs helpYou don't ask for helpBut I need to help.
I spread the tips of my fingers against the smooth wood of my table- elongated so there’s enough room in the center for a bouquet of roses.I never thought I’d be given roses: a traditional statement.
You pop pills
They popped you
You drained bottles
They drained you
You lit up
They lit you
You shot up
They shot you
And now you're gone
Every part of you, not just the addict
I am only 17
And working at Mickey D's
Drive thru
Only to see you drive thru
Higher than a kite
And flirt with them big brown eyes
How I wish I was as high as you are
waves of desire.
stormy days and his ocean eyes,
and a world of hurt
being left to decipher
what I did I did wrong,
what put me so far away
from what I wanted
even after I wrote you a song
i’m looking for something that’s gone once again
i don’t know who you are, can i call you my friend?
there’s a hurt in everything i say and i do
because everything seems to remind me of you
PART I
Cupid’s bow spoke to me
Its Honduran mahogany
Cut piece by piece
And carved into shape
Etched with a design
You told me, "It's over..." again. I know that, Jorge... It's been over.
You know that and I know that.. And of course...
You KNOW I know that.. So who was the validation for?
There's a place for everything and everything in its place..
Well, where do I put the memories of the past I can't erase?
If I could build the truth for you, I'd make it out of titanium steel...
I'd weld it together with all of the reasons -WHY- I STILL feel the way that I feel...
FOR: My Ex Now, but My Love ONE 4ever.. J.G. (*BTW, MOST of poems are about him....)
I'm glad you took everything that would remind me of you..
Cause I don't want to remember anything we went through.
I want you.
I don't tell you but I think it every day.
I want you. Putting emphasis on every word I say it three times over.
I want to kiss you unil are lips are raw and there is no emotion left to be shared.
they told me
don’t if youre gonna leave him
they told me
don’t if youre gonna break his heart
and yet
i decided yes
and i fell
The one who clims to love me
But the one who often isn't there
A walking contradiction
The angel on my shoulder
The devil whispring in my ear
Get out!
Or stay
Whichever one you chose to do
Mentor.
It was the one word I felt I could call you.
Our bond was too strong for "teacher"
Friendship a forbidden term
Mentor was the only word fitting.
Savior.
Now I'm packing up my things,
From the space where our hearts overlapped.
You've left a few items
I know that you'll be back.
I'm not going to be there
You can have my key,
I'm leaving this place
You say you love me
I take a deep breath and repeat that in my mind
You say you love me
As your holding me crying.
I can feel your hand digging into my arm
I find myself in a waking realization,
Away went the sadness and the sinning temptations.
The more I don’t think, the more I forget,
I've seen things I never meant to see
And dreamed of places I'll never go
With you
Well, maybe you're just an archetype
But not the soul sent to save mine
From you
Image by Belinda Capol
I am terrified
that one day I will wake up and you
will be gone.
it will all be a dream
and she’ll be there, her hair tied up
staring at a screen
Never live with malice
Living in a fantasy like Alice
U plus me and our own palace
Your not a a target but I prey like a mantis
Love lost like Atlantis
Pain took advantage
You wanted meto have,and I quote,"a great summer"
Yet you leftthat same summerBut you're notthe first one
I will disappear into the airthe trauma of the humansin the shadowsand the kiss of suicidePerhaps them won't even noticebut it won't matter None of this will matter because after all
As I write this,tears form inside my eyes
my heart achesI'm in painyet I'm numb
I'm tired of the lies AND misconception
Long to be held, seeking attention
Covering up my discontentment
I've ran out of makeup and forgotten how
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I hate myself by hurting you
Feeling this hurt embrace me so beautiful
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
As my eyes rain this cold, wet sorrow...
My heart yearns for a better tomorrow
To feel lips brushed against mine
Gently pressed, one of a kind.
Yes, the cold is trapped in my sweater
I hate that my heart yearns for you
It will look for in the hallways of our overcrowded school
It wants to give itself to you again
Let you break me
On cold nights like these
Where I’m happy with
People in my lifeAnd without you in sight
I can’t help but wonder
How did you turn out
I’ve spent many days contemplating
The words to say to you
But the words are stuck in my throat
Trying to escape
Day after day
I would like to thank
My past love
For the pain she put me through,
And the healing I was forced into
For it was the healing,
Stitching of the broken halves of my heart
It sucks that being in a relationship you have to give your everything
Your time, your will, your heart
You are left vulnerable and open
Stare into the outside
Neon lights and street signs
She holds me
It’s gonna be alright
She said, but she fades
Moonlight turns away
Pain
I trip and fall.
I feel pain.
A crush tells me that he does not like me the same.
I feel pain.
I get bullied and ostracized on the bus.
I feel pain.
Maybe you don't think of me much
Or maybe you don't think much of me
But when I take my mind for walks
We end up sitting under aspen trees.
you were a rainbow
so i too became one to please you
yet you cut me so deeply
i burst into a multitude of colour
yet to you
all i'll ever be is black and white
Somewhere along the way
My heart just stopped
The way your eyes sparkled
Seems to be dull
My heart saw something
beyond the eye
From then on
I wanted to say hi
"Her name written in the moon between the stars, crossed out, covered up with several black ink marks. The tiny spark, the invisible pen, marks all you see but cannot read. That little hope, it still burns faint, the fire burns, always.
I fell in love at a bus stop
I fell in love and came out on top
I fell for him and it was my fault
I fell in love at a bus stop
Across the rows
I crossed alone
More than hope
my friend’s funeral was a cloudy day.
a joyous celebration of life.
the clouds spoiled the ambiance,
but the rain never came.
My smile shines at the sound of his name
His chocolate eyes stared only at me
But his reputation brought him his fame
Why did his looks fill up my heart of glee?
His calm voice brought me home.
So she picked up her pencil
And wrote to the world about the Storm
that left her soaked in golden blood.
Must she be left in pieces
From the gentle winds
Of the violent Storm?
words scribbled across the page in an desparate manner
as if the writer might just burst if they can’t release this
display of a broken heart.
a melody sings its song to a crowd of invisible listeners
My heart breaksEvery time you smileMy mind hazesEvery time you speakMy body numbs Every time you touch meMy soul leaves Every time you kiss me
But
With careful cadence, ink steps on pages
And rhythmically, words stride to our minds.
They serve all the troubled of the ages,
With careful cadence, ink steps on pages
And rhythmically, words stride to our minds.
They serve all the troubled of the ages,
You have a beautiful smile, thats what you said.
I laughed it off as just pretend.
A month then passed and you were there,
Right beside me combing my hair.
Behind my ear in a loving way,
Bang, Bang.
You Shot Me Down.
You broke my heart and let me drown.
You lost sight of what we had.
You didnt care if it hurt so bad.
We Fell In Love In A Hopeless Place.
When your heart breaks
it oozes misery
and drips down to your stomach
where it knots and twists
but you can only clench your fists
Here lies the time of which it commenced
The days past as every sand
Of the hourglass
In a fell swoop of descending
If the cosmos were mine to mix
And the beauties thereof, mine to possess
He told me I was becoming my mother.A statement that meant,I could do better.They said I look just like her.How the ocean floods my eyes when my heart, Catches on fire,From beating too fast.
Wear my heart on my sleeves
I tend to get my arms cut off.
Take my kindness for weakness
They see me as soft.
Makeshift my body
Played all the parts
Left me for better
To which you depart
Stomped on my fortress
Tainted by lies
Cradled in darkness
Lover despised
As the goosebumps carress my skin so strong,
You stole my breath away; you king of thieves.
The dulcet croon of love; you lure me with song.
I come to see you during lunch
My heart, in pain to much
You open the door and you see
Me, in all of my vulnerability
But you don't bat an eye, much like the other guy
You hug me,
But not out of love
I once met a man who introduced me to the different sides of love.
He dyed his hair a different color every other week
and bound his chest so that no one would question his authority.
It's like a blade that never stops twisting in your heart.
When you fall in love, you fear everything about them.
Their very existence is your foundation.
You love them so madly you're blinded by it.
feelings we disect,
fail to digest.
we're both so depressed.
emotions repressed;
show reason less.
we scream and we shout;
dont know what about.
I saved this for us.
you stressed me out.
Why won't you treat me like I'm perfect?
Why won't you treat me like I'm worth it?
You ripped my heart right out of my chest
You did things to it that I never would've guessed
Couples don't treat each other this way
Staring at the walls until 2 a.m.Praying this was a mistake,In the morning will it be too late?It was too late yesterday,
Rejection. It hurts like a bitch. But sometimes rejection provides a greater picture to one's head. Rejection just makes me feel like I'm not worth love. Or happiness. Or even affection. And it's not the person who rejected me that hurts...
When a woman falls in love,
she usually falls pretty hard.
It's not that a tricky puzzle takes place of her heart.
The goals, dreams, and visions for herself fall apart.
As I gaze up into the moonlight
I can finally wonder if you’re alright...
If you were wishing you could hold me just as tight...
See my heart was in recovery
From a fraudulent lovers discovery
Bad news bends me down
Like snow icing a birch tree
How much more can I take before I break?
Splintered into a thousand shards-
I can't melt my heart anymore
Where do I begin?
How do you tell a tale so weathered yet so fresh?
So foreign yet familiar.
Your palm that once warmed my thin fingers
My heart has been ripped apart by your words your seething lies I denied because my love for you made me blind. Where is the light? You laugh at me as your darkness chokes me smothers the light that I wish would come back.
he was a secret that I regret keeping locked away, deep inside my soul he stayed he shook hands with my fearshe befriended my pain
how funny it is
that after three days of lying next to someone,
sharing secrets, matching heartbeats, and pressing lips together,
one can fall in the first stages of what may very well shape up to be love.
I believe in the power of ink, The power it brings to create something greatI believe in the power of paperThe power to convey things that you can’t speakI believe in the power of midnight thoughtsWhen sleep doesn’t come easily I believe in the po
Cloudy days won't pass by fast enough.
Because my heart is broken and I'm yearning
for your love
Days feel like centuries
since my baby up and left me.
Now I'm greving, sad and
filled with sorrow
Her heart was ice and It was breaking.. killing her. Slowly she is losing herself, by giving herself to him. The love she was giving him, he was giving to the other girl.
my past defines me, i am, the girl he keeps from his friends, a secret, not good enough, unheard
If I could ask for one more dayThat I could be yoursI’d bask in moments, the love, the security.the purity in our intentionsBefore we refused to speak what was unintentionally mentionedThe lies you’d cry
She, is a girl.
With the prettiest face,
The curliest hair,
The shiniest skin,
The carefree persona
She is a Queen.
i spend my days now trying to forget your voice,
the same voice that made the my skin stand tall,
the same voice that told me everything would be okay,
I am slowly stepping instead of falling for her.
I never learned how to love so instantly.
This feeling is far from what I prefer.
She is like the seasons of winter and summer,
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Our comet. It was a sign. As we sat there under the starry night sky, talking about life and our future together, it was a sign. The breeze was cool and the sky was clear and everything in the world seemed absolutely perfect.
Loving you was like;
running all the red lights
Loving you was like being
Rear-ended; going airborne
through the windshield
because a seatbelt didn’t feel mandatory
I don't remember when I first heard the word
I don't remember when I first knew what it meant
I don't remember anyone telling me
I see you running through the rain
I know its a stretch
Even for my fantastical childish dreams
But I still can see it
another relationship
another breakup
today, our one month anniversary
she breaks up with me
after isolating herself for days
blaming me
not even trying to fix things
The promise he made to me about a hundred and one times, he broke.
"I will never leave you baby girl," he said and where is he now?
Only a shadow of a memory left for me to ponder in my head.
I didn’t want to believe in love,
I thought it was like a drug,
Something I can’t quit,
Something that would split.
But you, my darling,
You are too startling.
The beauty, the wit,
Aren't best friends supposed to be with you till the end?
I thought that to myself as I watched them turn their back.
Deceiving is what it's called. Maturity is what they lack.
I gave so many, so many chances
Yet,
my brain;
beating faster than my heart
what do I use more?
the absence of brain is obvious
but how do i know when its my heart,
thats beating
is it smart to love
a binding of humans,
I lost my best friend. One person I could tell everything to. One that would not judge or laugh at me. Now we have not talked... I lost my best friend in one day. Why did he leave me... Was I not good enough... Did he find someone better?
You were my present tense
And supposedly my future tense
Everything seemed fine
Until errors were made
Now all you ever are
Is my past tense
Last night someone asked me,
"Are you not interested in someone right now? Or even have someone to flirt with?"
"Theres no one right now." I answered.
They were dubious when they asked,
He's once again there, waiting,
And hoping that somehow
The fate would deem it worthy
For them to make a vow.
And though it seems unsightly,
And it is frowned upon,
my words have taken
a hiatus
from mouth
to pages
ellipses dance.
tell me how to stop this
ache.
how do you function
when your lungs forget to inhale?
I can't live without you here
My knees grow weak
The demons coming near
We now don't speak
I loved you so
No one understands why I love you.
So, allow me to put it into words.
You were the air I breathed,
The blood that ran through my veins,
The water in my cup.
My heart began to ache
I felt my limbs shake
I wanted to run
I wanted to hide
I sobbed
And cried
Then I began to write
I knew it would be quite all right
Poems taught me to grow
I wasn't ready for it, I wasn't searching for it
He held my hand, kissed my face
I felt the whole earth shake
The heart is shattering, the mind is fluttering
Darling, I know I needed to decline.
My betrayal is unforgivable.
I’m unable to see the grand design.
A life without you is unlivable.
Do not tell me our life has been a lie.
Come, my love, to arms, my knight,
Come join me in our glorious fight.
The enemy's crawling up my skin,
I came home that night smelling of rain and cigarette smoke and teenage love so deep, set into my pores like the ink on my skin.
i remember falling in love with you as if it happened yesterday
we had only met but you made me feel things
i swore i could never feel again
I have late night conversations with the moon
She tells me about the sun
And I tell her about you
What we used to do underneath her other half
And during her time when we went our different paths
A true love’s kiss, a myth yet every girl believes in the princess tale,
Believing Cupid with his mighty arrow shoots accurately from his sail,
Cuddles, first kisses, anniversaries ever so sweet,
I hate you
I hate that you're beautiful
I hate that I love you
I hate how I hate you
I love you
I wish you would leave
My dear please stay with me
Just for the night
Hold me close
Here I am, again, alone,
Wondering what to do.
Should I talk to myself?
Or watch movies in lieu
Of the time I wish I had
To spend here with you.
Here I am, again, alone,
Wondering what to do.
Her heart seemed to of thudded against the floor
I looked at her
Her mouth agape and a string of blood
Slowly drips from her mouth
To the floor
the fracture in my soul is buried deep and my mind is cracking with it. eliciting such rage as the red flag waved in front of the gentle bull in a china shop.
the memory of your touch
Sunflower sunflower where have you gone
Your sunlight extinguished from this earth
Your dark pit of growth trembling , shaken to its core by the ferocity of seasons
Sunflower sunflower where have you gone
When I told my friend that I liked a boy she was ecstatic. She gushed. She squealed. She urged me forward.
When I told my friend he asked me out she screamed. She laughed. She yelled. She asked me when we were going out.
I absorbed you through my skin like oil
you are stuck here in the lines of my fingerprint
burned into the corners of my mind im afraid to look into
I hate the taste of you but you run through my veins like blood
As I grew older I began to see my friends fall in love.
I began to see them care for someone with a deeper passion than I have ever seen,
And I began to see him feel the same way for her.
my heart
aches
at the knowledge
that i’ve loved you for forever
but
forever is coming
to an end.
The dagger in my heart,
It twists,
Alas, My love for you has only hurt me.
I should have known better
Than To fall in love with
Nothing less than a prince
Who saw himself as little more than a pig.
If I were to have just one wish,
I'd wish for just one careful kiss
Upon my lips-chapped though they be,
Oh, Sorrow! That you can't love me.
SHE WANTED THE WORLD IN HER HANDS
TO RULE THE LAND AND SEA
SHE WANTED THE WIND IN HER HAIR
AS SHE SPED IN HER BENZ
SHE ALMOST HAD IT ALL
BUT THEN SHE MET HIM
SHE FELL FOR HIM
RUN INTO MY ARMS
KISS ME UNDER THE MOONLIGHT
SPEND THE NIGHT WITH ME
LOVE ME FOREVER
I SAY YOU’RE MINE
AND YOU SAY I’M YOURS
BUT WHEN YOU HUG ME
WHILE MY EYES ARE CLOSED
Is it over?
This war that we have
Is it over?
Doesn't matter because you took my heart and threw it into a bulldozer
I don’t think I’ve ever been more sad
He tasted like mangosi couldn't place it until the next daywhen his lips were no longe
Get
out
of
my
head.
Get out of my head because it's what's best for me.
Get out of my head because it's what's best for you.
There are three cranberries left on the counter
A reminder of us I can’t seem to wipe away
It was different then
When we first fell
A perfect bond.
Conversations go on for hours with no effort
Two passionate hearts
Telling one another "we will make it"
Through love
Through faith
Through patience
When I have lied to myself and others for so long,
It is hard to see who is wrong,
We could lie to ourselves like we always do,
But since I have had so much more pain to go through,
I keep my heart locked up in a box
Guarded by a dextrous black fox
But with a glance from you the fox was slain
My heart thrown into a hurricane
Round and round it tumbled and swept
summer
my soul shed its skin shell
it got too big
nowhere to go so it floats
my personal cartoon rain cloud
blue balloon
and me
dear crush
can you hear that?
the sound of my heart
breaking?
breaking like claps
each syllable you spoke to someone else
People always tell me, there's plenty of fish in the sea.But you just didn't get, that you were the only fish for me.All I ever did was love you...and I just wanted to let you know.
Glassy eyed vixen.
I stare into thy eyes.
Sparkling like a wildfire;
Such feelings I can't deny.
Long black silky hair
Oh I did not dare touch.
But my thoughts are impure;
I am among the unseen
And you are the light that stands before me.
As I close my eyes to sense it,
But it never reaches me.
I am among the unheard
And you are the voice that echoes so faintly.
The sky is so empty,
So gray and cold,
So barren and wasted.
Clouds fill the air
But nothing more.
Scenes of despair and darkness.
Sometimes a bird
Breaks the moment;
This little bottle of chardonnay;
My escape, my stimulation. And you
My every motivation, unending infatuation.
Each glass with every momentous sip
The taste of grapes dance on the edge of my tongue,
Time waits for no one
And I stand still, frozen,
Unable to keep up.
I chase and chase,
Yet the seconds speed up.
Round and round, the seconds speed up.
Minute by minute, the distance widens.
You forsake me for another
And leave me cold and lonely.
You torture me with your eyes,
They greet me yet they ignore me.
You taunt me with your smile,
It sends comfort but mocks me.
When sunlight becomes the dark,
I pray that you are the path
That illuminates my heart.
When sunlight becomes the night,
You are the shield I run to
Behind your glorious sight.
When you smile your smile
It takes me away from this reality.
And when I see those eyes,
I'm suspended in a life-like fantasy.
Speak out a fresh breath of air;
Orchestrate a conversation for me
We've been through ups and downs
(The good, the bad, the smiles and frowns),
But I ain't giving up on us.
So believe in me, this is more than lust.
It's you or bust 'cause YOU is a must!
I didn't mean to lead you astray;
I'm weak, as weak as anyone or anything can humanly be.
But the passion that melts me inside is for you.
I lay besides an emptiness that is only meant to be occupied by you,
Even though you tore my heart in two
I'm still in love with you.
And if one day I can love someone else,
I'll have forgiven you
And I've learned to respect myself.
When I finally learn to let this go
It's been one month since I was standing here last.
With this wonderful man hosting.
And a beautiful partner in the audience.
I had written a poem for them.
I remember
Late nights with your skin against mine and our breath mingling in the small space between us.
I remember
"Are you leaving?" she said.
I informed that im to return soon.
Her stare blanketed in dis-array,
I inquired if something was needed.
"Can you leave my heart on the table until you get back?"
My life consists of heartbreak,
It's all made up of shit.
Confusion is synonymous
With life and life with it.
I hate to look in mirrors
To see what's looking back:
The sunken eyes, the fatty thighs,
who are we now
sometimes i don't feel like we're the same souls
whose eager teeth met by the brick river
on days like this i wonder
what it would be like to be us again-
You told me you loved me
You told me that you cared
But what we did to sarah…
I guess this is only fair
You always kept me hidden
I thought you meant it when you said forever
you didn’t
He wrecked me
Broke me down piece by piece
Through our laughs
Our love
Our fights
Our long nights
Our pain
Our joy
Our hopes
Our plans
He destroyed each part of me
You look through a glass
I know she’s on your mind
you cry tears of spite
yet your heart remains kind
And you keep on wondering
How a girl loved as she
Would keep you expectant
Meeting you was like finding my favourite song,
learning all the lyrics won't take very long.
Your eyes had a fire,
one I know I'd surely desire.
A desire for you to take those gracious hands of yours,
Honestly, what's the point of this game you play?
When all you'd rather do is lay up and smoke all day
You say over and over to let my guard down but when I finally do
The heart of a lover,
eyes of a cheater.
Stomach of the deprived,
longing for a taste that is sweeter.
The smile of a friend,
With this being our last moment together, whether or not you know it.
I owe it to you to be as honest as possible, but that's impossible to do and not hurt you.
When I saw you last night you looked happy, joyful, even.
When I saw you last night, I wanted to hug you because God
you don't know how much I miss you.
When I saw you last night every memory we made and every kiss we
tell me that you want a tree,
an Apple Tree.
the fruit you desire, it will produce
but, if you, plant it first.
the tree will give you many years
but, if you, will give it drink.
Sometimes love finds you in your darkest place and signals you hope with a sign of light at the end of the tunnel
But sometimes that approaching light is a speeding truck with a fatigued driver who's responses are slowing down
I could see that pain and hatred in your eyes
The moment she spurned you as childish and unwise.
I know how it feels to be scorned and chastised.
I know how it feels to go against those baptized.
Rejected
Isolation
Hurting more than it should
Why did I get so attached?
Please let me be
Don't make me see your face
Beautiful you
Versus ugly me
World shattering
Heart aching
How are you so stupid, so naive?
You brought this on yourself.
Walked in a locked room with no keys.
Don't bother blaming anyone else,
Don't cry, beg, or plead.
How do you expect to get out?
We were in love once, not long ago.
You said that you could never let me go.
You kissed me with all of your energy
Maybe that's why you set me free
Can you please make me remember,How we started this fight?‘Cause I can't remember,our last good night. What are we doing?I said I loved you, You said you might. This is a jumbled mess,Do you realize?I look at your face,You look away from my eyes.
That smile
Broke me.
Here at the start of suffering
I let
You,
And only
You
Break my resolve
And I simply
Couldn't fight
The tears
Anymore.
Dear Nik,
Do you remember me?
Do you recognize me?
Sometimes I wonder
If you still think about me
The way that I
See, just day before yesterday
We were in love
He'd smile when he saw me
Hold me close
Too scared to drop me
See, that's how it used to be
Still my best friend
My number one shoulder
Little do you know
How I'm breaking while you fall asleep
Little do you know
I'm still haunted by the memories
Little do you know
You were the happiest most wild person I’d ever met.
Seeing you always brought joy to my otherwise lifeless life.
Dear you who I don’t know what to call anymore,
In between frozen touches and blank
stares I knew it all along, hidden in your cryptic answers.
Chaste messages. I figured
It can’t be so bad.
to you, who loved me without love:
it has been so long.
three years ago
You were everything.
had not
touched me yet
Dear Anon,
The anonymous you. The unknown to the world, but known deep to my heart.
You’ve been there. Deep inside of me. You’ve heard the beats and rhythm.
You’ve shaped and molded it to the way you wanted it.
Dear K,
Intoxicated were we, but intoxicating was your kiss,
the night we first expressed ourselves to each other.
Wrapped in your sweet embrace,
unaware of future regret.
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I thought I loved you,
but I think I fell in love with the thought of you.
You kissed me with such passion,
and you told me things I know you had a hard time saying,
To the ones who have hurt me the most-
I hate that you know when I'm holding back tears;
how I play with my jewelry or pinch at my skin
I hate that you know how I like my sandwiches-
Don’t tell me pretty lies,
With that look on your face,
Because although you are beautiful
The ugly never fades.
There’s beauty in your eyes,
And there’s strength that’s in your arms,
Dear Love,
Sometimes,
Your soft brown eyes
Fill my
Stomach with such a strong boiling rage
I want to light your curly hair on fire
It’s been a few months now
and I don’t know why I am writing about you.
It feels like an obligation,
but what will this really do?
Why is love so cold?
We sit back and wait til we grow old.
In search to find the person of our dreams,
We are left to be the one in need.
Crying all night with no one to talk to,
Dear Heart,
It's me againYes, I know I've been gone for awhile Yes, I still love you No, You are not alone
Cover up Your cracks are showing
Stop bleedingYour color is fading
To the boy I have feelings for
From the girl who can’t take it anymore
What hurts more than heartbreak
is the fact I saw a future
But all the damage and pain
Lonely, afraid, I’m not sure
Dear Lover,
I am not a puppy or a little plaything you can choose because you think I am cute,
I am not a creature you can punish for not behaving how you would like me to,
3:50 AM
I wish i knew how you really felt.
Are you here because you choose to be here, or because you felt that you had to be?
I wish you knew just how hard i've tried.
3:50 AM
I wish i knew how you really felt.
Are you here because you choose to be here, or because you felt that you had to be?
I wish you knew just how hard i've tried.
I think I'm falling in love with a ghost, dear,
I think I'm falling asleep.
I see him on the edge of my vision,
singing me soft lullabies with ethereal beats.
The ghost's eyes peer out at me,
I am unable to recast
The same sun that rose
The day that was our last
This isn’t what I chose
Glass between our paths
I had you in my grasp
Forgive my reach
I can't stop
I know I should
But I can't stop
We pick our fruits
From the places we love
But seasons change
Dear Sam,
Sometimes I'm not sure if I miss you or the way you made me feel.
Sometimes I'm not sure if I can live another second without feeling the way you made me feel.
Sometimes I'm not sure how you really made me feel.
I love you in the morning,
with soft sunlight peeking through the curtains
casting over your sleepy face;
eyes dazed,
smile slanted,
We met in school, but we rarely talked.
You waited for me.
Then I fell in love with someone else,
But you waited for me.
When it ended, we were in different classes,
Yet you waited for me.
Dear Kelcee,
It’s okay that we drifted apart,
That’s just how things go sometimes,
Just know you’ll always have a home in my heart.
It’s okay that your life came crashing down,
You told the bird you don't like the way it sits on my wrist.
You don't like how it would permanently stay.
You don't like its meaning.
And to make you happy the bird would have to sacrifice its own life in pain.
You had me fooled to think that you were right about everything.
But no you were trying to convince me to your side.
Or at least the side you thought was right.
We are all wrong in different ways.
The tender gift of your gentle lips
graced my chilled, red cheeks
for the first time
The gift of your tenderness
gives me reason
Dear Heartbreak,
You're disintegrating me.
All of my feelings of happiness
are gone. It's been months...
why keep torturing me? You're
driving me to complete agony.
I wish the pain of betrayal and
I am from a no college family, from a brother in trouble with the law, and another brother with a mental illness.
Fear breaks
The crack of dawn
Tossing, turning, yearning
Hardly ever learning
People and places
Pasts and problems
Things I’ll never have the answer—
Four
Years.
Dear Jessica,
What does a man feel like?
Is he soft like trampled moss?
Or scratchy like peeled back bark?
Does his smile warm your heart?
Dear Jessica,
What does a man feel like?
Is he soft like trampled moss?
Or scratchy like peeled back bark?
Does his smile warm your heart?
Dear you,
You have hurt me deeply
Everything about me is suffering
Coated with anger only to reveal the sadness underneath
Dear Him,
Your eyes shine so bright,
Just as the stars in the sky.
I remember the night,
You had said good bye.
The sparkling sun gleamed down,
As I replay the memories;
Everytime we argue, we create a storm.
You say things you don't mean- please don't make a scene.
Those vulgar words you say, I wish they could be unheard.
And as we separate- the clouds they turn grey.
Dear lover,
The warming filling of your heart
brings satisfaction to my mind.
I trust you with all my being
to never ever break my heart.
I could never love
Love someone who has the same name as you
Your name
Carries
Such negative connotations
I could never love your name again
Laith,
I once loved a flower so much
One day it started to wilt
Despite all my efforts to save it
Even for just a day
It wilted away
That’s what it was like loving you
Dear Josh,
I know a goodbye is due
And I understand that you’re sad too.
But my heart is breaking at the seam,
Lark,
My voice could never reach your ears, but I hope this letter might. Listen for a moment, nothing more. Let my moonlit misery reach your heart and fall into you.
To the one that never was and never could be: Muhammad, Alhaji, quickfeet,
While the spirits of the dead
Roam the heavens
The fairytale we seek
Shatters to the extreme
While my suicide kisses
Dear boyfriend,
You utter unoriginal, clichés into my ears that sink and make me feel validated.
You touch me with sinful purposes so that I feel like I might have a purpose.
someday a boy will break your heart in two
consider this a forewarning to you
his eyes
brilliant baby blue
will consume you entirely
My dearest Zac,
The words spilled out of your mouth
Apologies fell onto the table
Excuses splashed into my coffee so that it tasted like lead when I drank it.
You took the stars I once saw in your eyes
Dear Person Who Broke My Heart,
Yeah we all know about heartbreak
And Lord why does it always feel like a mistake
Making all these feelings start to resonate
Like the stars floating in the galaxy
You take it all, my love is simply yours to take
you frightened me, stripping me bare
heed not, for I am not freed from this heartbreak
"But I love you, it's true" you swear.
Dear Mom...
I don’t even know where to start with you these days. How are you? It feels weird to say that.
Do you wonder how I’m doing, too?
I’m 25 now,
A woman. Last time you saw me I was a girl.
Do you think about me the way I do about you?
Do you reminisce about the past we once shared?
I await the day when I can hold your hand again and smile because of our love
Do you think about me, too?
Dear L.B,
Four years ago,
He died-
My sweet loved one.
It was a long, hard death,
Taking months to ware him thin.
Cancer does that to a person.
I was there when
He died.
I waited for you to fall into my arms.
Instead, I just felt you slipping away.
-expectations
dear lover,
there are pieces of myself that simply belong to you. when you leave, you take, & you fill me up with lies in exchange for what you drained of me. this is the best way manipulative men will get me to stay.
Was it my fault that you didn't tell me I was spending too much time away?
Was it my fault I couldn't read your mind?
Maybe I'm the fool.
Perhaps I was wrong,
maybe my accusations
have been oversung.
You were, as far as I was sure,
the problem that made me fight.
But as I leave you in the dirt and move on,
it seems
To my love--
There’s a shade of pink
in the setting sky
that reminds me of you.
The same shade of pink
sometimes when i'm alone you rattle through my head
you are loud yet gentle
i make it a point not to listen to you, as if by doing so i am winning a prize
if forgetting the last lines of the first verse is the prize
It isn’t as nice as it was three years ago
when I knew you loved me,
Now it’s more like smiling at you from behind a window
with tears in my eyes...
Dear Hurricane Victor,
A hailstorm commenced when I agreed to be yours
And you, mine…
I often wonder if it was a sign.
You tell me it didn’t happen like that--
I should just get over it… but I can’t.
I can’t forget the words that you’ve said to me,
Dear Casey,
You said you loved me
And I left you
Because I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it...
You're 24 with a kid,
You smoke weed,
I met you online,
A twinkle in a kind souls eye,Lights smile with a single try.Sheepish grin, unsure of speach,A brush of hand, while just in reach.
To my Mocha Frappuccino, my first love, my first heartbreak,
Can beauty ever really come out of this pain?
Can these words ensure that the suffering was not in vain?
To The Man Responsible--
Your memories come back in flashes
like the bright white specks when you sit up too quickly
The branches are empty as the birds have flown.
The tree still hopes for new nests to be sewn.
The night has passed and it's time for the dawn.
Yesterday is there but the shadows are gone.
The first thing you notice is the smile. It melts your heart away.He will try to hide it when he realizes that you've noticed.if he does this, just tease him. Tell him not to smile. I promise he will be smiling in three seconds max.
Dear Heartbreaker,
Thank you.
Thank you for breaking me and leaving me.
Thank you for destroying my confidence.
Thank you for the lies, the cheating, the arguments.
As you embark on this journey of life
It is imperative that you know
I am with you
Although we're miles apart
In distance and in heart
Somehow, I will remain with you
Sitting in the coffee shop
Where once we’d smile
My heart did a little hop
I saw her for the first time in a while
My hands were shaking
They tell me I don't need alcohol to have fun. They tell me it's ok to socialize and be happy before getting drunk, but I can't do that after you left.
Dear past lover
I remember opening my heart and difficult life to you .
I remember the laughter , first times , and happiness.
Past lover I remember you ripping my heart out and not caring.
Your distance has done nothing but destroy my sanity and leave me feeling all messed up. There was once a time you poured your all into me; now, you’re just an empty cup.
I was trying to be conscientious to not think about you,
But after closing myself off in a personal quarantine for so long,
I couldn’t help but start reminiscing about our relationship.
Dear Christian,
I try not to cry as I say goodbye.
Perhaps before we meet next I'll die
Or maybe you will forget about us.
I blame the rat for leaving with a cuss.
The lack of you leaves holed my center core.
Dear First Love,
With words left unsaid,
and feelings left unexplored,
I try to rest my head,
as sleep goes ignored.
We were two young kids with the world at our feet.
I tried to be strong
But strong is not strong,
And crying is not wrong
If it happened again I would be weak
I would not lie down and take it.
I would cry and weep
and make it impossible
for you
i'd still do it all over again
and
every day
i fell for you
i hoped you would love me too
but
you wouldn't
maybe i was wrong for thinking
you'd stay
but i never figured
Everyone tells me what I did wrong and how to fix it for next time.
Next time.
Next time there won’t be a next time.
There are too many holes and trysts and trails in my heart
I’m shutting it all down.
It started cute...
like any normal relationship
we talked everyday,
learning eachothers loves, dreams and passions.
I told you what I was...
You said that you didn't mind.
to my best friend,
call it whatever you want
whatever this was
it was us
two stubborn teens stuck
in this cycle
going back and forth
Dear Samantha,
My dearest Samantha. This letter has found you which makes my heart soar
to the heavens. I cannot hide my feelings for you within, so I include them in this
letter.
I see your shirt,
I see you in it,
Then back out of it again.
Every night I end up in the same place,
At the bottom of the hole that you dug for me.
wrap me in your love again.
blanket plush,
velvet crushed.
make me feel again.
misery, over and over.
My dear raging wildfire love,
It really just takes a small spark to start the fire,
But when it takes control,
It takes over, engulfing everything,
You said, you said that we'd last
but now the flag flies half-mast
You said, you said this was true, so real
so how is it you cease to feel
You said, you said, don't give up
yet whose eyes look away so abrupt
Of a melancholy tone
She is through with you
Look at what you have done
And the madness you've put her through
Just consider her gone
You manipulated her heart
Always the one to torture
Dear My Future Ex,
I'm tired of all the lying and the cheating,
Our alliance suffers from treason,
Whenever we talk, we're fire breathing,
Only time we aren't fighting, is when we're eating,
With everything that's happening,Between you and me and them,I'm just starting to realize,The things I've been missing out on, In the days I've been gone.I didn't want to wait long, But I'm afraid of putting myself out in the open, So here it goes
You are the closest image of home I have ever encountered. I buried my secrets into your crumbling foundation. My truths filled the holes of your cracking backbone. You loved it; more so you needed it to survive.
I know you probably have had millions of different people around the world seek out to you. People of different skin tones and cultures, who have been searching for you their entire life's and not to even have a glimpse of you. The real you.
Dear Person, I thought I knew,
The day we met I was at my best, life was full and my heart was beating out of my chest,
A smile one day changed everythingI didn't know then, how could I?One doesn't just jump from one to the nextBut, is it worth it?Future can be surrounded with success and happiness,or fraud and despair
Love is a thing with Arms,it loves to craddle you when most weak -It listens to your thoughts and changes them- All you do is out of love-But what is love might I say-Dreadful tears and sorrowful alibies
I need closure.
Set some things straight.
I was insecure and vulnerable, and no, I don't want to go on a date.
Why do you taunt me?
Stupid, silly, fate.
Time. It's been 1 week.
You've stopped talking to me
and it makes me think,
Everything is not what it seems.
You've stopped
with the cute nicknames.
You've stopped
and I feel like I'm to blame.
Dear Rebekah,
I always take a look at you when you're not aware,
But most times you catch me looking and I find it so unfair
That the stars in your eyes twinkle, when you see him and not me,
This poem reflects a bad relationship:
Dear whoever cares,
My heart hurts.
My stomach hurts
My chest hurts.
It's my entire body actually.
I feel like I forgot how to breathe.
This isn't right.
to the person i can’t forget,
the sun sets,
taking my happiness with it.
the same way you left,
taking parts of me with you.
and i realize,
after you left,
im sorry Yall probably wont ever see this but this needs said
im sorryI know at times it appears otherwise but i love you all truly i always have
Dear ex-lover,
You say that it's not always about me
as if this fear of not being enough
of ruining every good thing in my life
Girl, just turn the page
He never was into you
All he did was criticize
And broke your poor heart in two
It was nothing but a facade
A masquerade at that
Do not drown in sorrow
To My First Love,
Oh boy did I love you.
We went from nothing to everything in under a month.
A couple of dates, to hanging out every single day.
I was on top of the world with you.
I thought I knew you,
The you sitting there,
With an eager smile,
You would take to a chair.
A chair beside me,
If I were to see you again
I'd run to you
Wrap my arms around your neck
And bury my face in your shoulder
I'd inhale so deep my lungs burst with your scent
My summers used to consist of waking up to the sun high in the sky, riding bikes around the neighborhood, and slip n slides.
But as time went on, and I got older, the neighbors moved aw
The water fights, replaced with my phone.
Dear Grandma,
I'm doing fine. Thanks.
How are you?
...
How long has it been since I last wrote?
Couple weeks. yeah.
...
huh?
...
Like really wrote?
Liberation,
She called it,
Discharging pet
Lovebird from the
Foreign shackles
Named commitment
Dear first love,
You left me scarred
Positively
and negatively
You know everything you did right
but little of what you did wrong.
Winter has whispered it's gentle song,
above and below,
like an ancient tongue.
The streets are frosted,
much like her eyes.
I can't find her,
not even amidst the blue suburban skies.
I left a ghost,
on the curb of a suburb at midnight.
We parted ways,
and I mumbled goodbye.
You can keep the flowers,
carry my words,
leave with tide.
And keep the winter silence,
you so willingly traded me for.
Dear What Could've Been,
hey. this is kind of weird. i know you
but you dont know me
i think about you a lot actually
i wallow in the idea of you
i savor each moment
moments
Ok I can do this
Hi... There...
No that’s not right
Hello, how’s it going?
That’s not it either
Hey... Oh you’re gone.
I want the version of you
Made up in my head
That comes to me in dreams
But my heart knows
That she’s not the same you
Who left me shaking
Dear Pain,
There are things that need to be said
but the words always seem to run
There are actions that ought to be taken
but the rhythm seems undone
The tears appears all dried up
Dear Loss,
I am watching you walk away
(for the God-knows-how-many-th-time),
but this time it is different.
One person
Made me so happy
Yet so dejected
At the same time
We used to sit
And watch the leaves fall
During the most
To wake up to the sound of my own broken heart that is the worst way to start the dayTo wake up thinking about how you leftmakes me want to drive a knife through my heartTo wake up not knowing the future of us
I write this poem
To my grandmother
A sister, a friend,
A wife, A mother
The sweetest being
One could know
An uplifting spirit
If you were low
She wore that smile
Your beady eyes are as dark as the night
Your hair is too long and must be cut soon
Your presence beside me doesn't feel right
When you speak to me I no longer swoon
Your sister's red car pulls out of the lot
Once again that my heart shattered
Lights went blackout, no more flickered
My head went full blank
My life I had hang
I thought my life doesn't matter
For a moment I heard your voice, for a moment time stopped just so I could notice you. You’ve changed so much, it’s clear that everything between us is now different.
last october
english class
our gaze meets
you smile and turn away
this moment, haunting my thoughts for days on end
I twist everything I've heard you say
making myself believe you like me
Falling
Once again
Too deep to try to swim
Falling
For him
I need to stop
I'll just get hurt
He will just hurt me in the end
But im falling
Into his ocean eyes
Falling
Once again
Too deep to try to swim
Falling
For him
I need to stop
I'll just get hurt
He will just hurt me in the end
But im falling
Into his ocean eyes
To all young people considering returning to a boy who forfeit his right to be called a boyfriend
I have some advice
Te quiero mucho.
Mucho.
¿Por qué no lo vez?
Eres mi mundo.
Tienes mi corazón.
Te quiero en mis brazos.
Te amo.
All I want for you is to laugh with me.
I want to make you laugh.
I want to hear you laugh next to me.
The sound that sounds oh so good to me.
The sound that my ears never get tired of.
Run away into her arms
You’ll be safe there
Drowned in expensive perfume
Gluttony, let me eat the envy
12 batches of burnt chocolate chip cookies
Early dawn in the bed when you cried out for your mother
And you choked on your tears as they rolled you down the stairs
They said by god’s grace but it was really just a stretcher and sirens
I never knew what it was like to feel so broken
you couldnt get out of bed because you didnt want to face the world
But after years
Of having the weight of the world on my soul
i feel you in my
bones
you are the breath caught
in my lungs
and running through
my veins
and maybe thats why
i find myself
running
the blade across my
Dang, another hour passed
Here, thinking ‘bout our past
Time slipping through our hands
Like an hourglass.
And I just sit here and just laugh,
You are an artist when it comes to words.
Your tongue is the brush, my heart the canvas.
You knew just the words to paint my heart
the color of love you promised me.
You charmed me with reds of passion.
I said i’d leave you alone
But nights like these make me want to talk to you.
You’re the piece of my youth & desperation
That god no longer wanted to carry.
dear boy i almost gave everything to,
i am not a glistening bar of solid authentic gold,
i am not a crystal clear 50 karat diamond,
i am not a smooth pearl that shimmers in the sun.
i am a ruby.
I can feel their love, feel
how much they care. Yet,
is it enough to keep me from the thoughts
that lurk in the back of my mind, swiming in the
pool of insecurites, splashing its poisonous water
Girl, his heart was never there
But you decided to stay
You were blindsided by love
He has sadly, led you astray
You have suffered a great deal
What a tough lesson to learn
Next time just open your eyes
How could you let me grow so fond of you?
When I said “I love you”- I meant it.
I use to think you did, too.
No longer do I believe that lie
You used to say
The only way
You could ever sleep
Was in my arms
So when did it change
That I was the one
Wandering at night
And you were the one
Finding solace in sleep?
I only started
Praying again
When I thought that god
Might give me a hand
So for the second time
In my life
I lay awake at night
Reciting the Lord’s Prayer
Every single night
There is another sky
With another life
Where our names aren’t etched
Onto my bones
Poisoning my roots
Where stars don’t hold
My wishes long gone
There to taunt me
There you are
where I could always admire from afar
See your light, Its radiant colors
Melting into the ocean waters
Here I am
Dear mother,
I banged on your bedroom door with a bleeding heart
you pretended to be asleep
I hate you
I came home and found a note on my bed, in which you wrote
IF I COULD CHANGE THE PATH I DECIDED TO FOLLOW
what a fool I was;
i exposed
the depths of my soul to you
on dreary cloudless nights
when the moon was high
and the only thing
Dearest Jon,
I'm back.
Once again I remember your face and long for your touch when my mind
s
i
n
k
s
to the depths reserved for sleep depreived nights.
dear Ivan,
you promised me the world
and left me with nothing
when I would have been happy with just a city
or something
you couldn't go big
To: My Heartbreaker
I've had a lot on my mind, and if I hold it in any more,I think I'm going to burst.You don't know this but
Liar, liar
you broke my heart first
you set my flesh afire
I gasped as you let go of my hand and watched me burn
liar, liar
why would you do this?
Dear child,
Unravel me.
I am lost, a spider embedded in her own web.
Push, fidget, scratch, claw
Fingernails on their death bed.
Gnawed by fear, gargled by pain,
Spit out by forgiveness.
She has decided to walk away
Because, you did not treat her right
Nothing but a chaotic scene
Situations sadly, ended in a fuss or fight
Face the reality of the matter
She often drowned in tears
I miss the smell of alcohol on your breath,
The haze of smoke in the air around us,
The half smirk you always have curled up on the left side of your mouth,
Why does he do such things?
Or should I say
Why doesn’t he do such things?
It’s the little things that count
Where are the little things?
Am I
Think a thought and let it simmer
Go for a walk in the woods and get wonderfully lost
Take a blow to the head and taste the liquor
Jump on a plane and forget the cost
Cut the gluten and end up thinner
To the boy I loved in high school,
I remember the day you told me
Everyone has an addiction
for some it’s smoking
and others it’s binge drinking
My addiction wasn’t nicotine or alcohol
For the first time.
Sad love songs
Didn't make sense anymore.
The melody would twist into my ears,
But my brain did not remember
The familiar guest;
She was rejected at the door.
In a second
Mutuals become companions
From jokes to sincerity
From half-hearted chats to imersive colloquy
In a second
Companions tie themselves together
Silver shiny peal
Isn't strange.
Isn't it weird.
To know someone so well but find their favorites feel like a rubix cube.
Their favorite color a mystery
Their favorite food a riddle
Seeming sweet
Yet turning salty
Worlds reversed
A lovely treat
But quite faulty
Something still lurks
Dictionary's anguish
Sunshine's despondence
Aroma's maliase
Once a wish
dear love,
you are a nightmare
dressed as a miracle.
you are misleading.
you are troublesome.
but somehow,
you always seem beautiful.
you always seem to pull me in
If I share my mind,
will that be of higher value than my body?
If I share my words,
my thoughts, fears, passions,
will that be of higher value than my kisses,
my hugs, touches, caressing hands?
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm falling in love with the person or the moment. Sometimes I wish I could still dwell in my depression with you. It felt easier. At least I wasn't alone.
I can't get your fucking taste out of my mouthand you can't get mad at me for the ways I tried to
I kissed him and I kissed anotherbut I think they could tell I whispered your name into their mouths
I’ve been contemplating for the past three days,Words to describe my precise emotions,And I become embarrassed by myself,For not even being able to, in such a s
So close.Close enough to admire the part in your hair, Close enough to study the creases of your face, From years of laug
Were you too misinformed to see clearly,Of how they were destroying your own soul?You opened your mind to them so simply,As if there was not a blood-l
Let me tell you a story
Of her heavy mind that cried
Every night to the moonlight
As she always questioned why.
Let me tell you a
“We need to move on,” you say. I pretend I’m okay. I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. The same ceiling I would look at while in the bed with you. I imagine every touch so vividly I almost feel it.
Dear you,
It has been awhile I know.
My heart has been hurting and my bones are becoming dry.
Dear you,
I’ve ignored your cries, I’m sorry.
Wanting what you can’t have
Enough to drive you crazy
Feelings getting stronger
And now it’s scary
Fear of rejection
Show remorse
When I ask if you want this
When I go for the last kiss
i called.
as i listened to my phone ring-
going once, going twice-
it stopped; my heart did, too.
for a moment,
i thought you had answered.
but then, oh, but then, there goes the ringer,
To my ex-lover,
You were my first real love,
My first serious relationship.
You taught me how to be in a relationship,
How to love,
How to be compassionate,
How to commit.
You are just standing there in the dark
The look on your face seems grim
The lady of your life has taken lots of abuse
Your outlook looks mighty slim
She feels battered and betrayed
Dear most loved lover,
I sat here ... and thought of you.
I felt something everytime you spoke, everytime you breathed.
I want to say it was fear because then I would have a reason to leave you,
-to protect me-
Childhood's games with my best buddy turned into
his father "breaking up" with me for him
in front of my mother.
All night video games binge-sessions shifted into routines of
staying in my bedroom all night
Dear God,
He just committed a fraud.
He promised to never leave,
And made me believe.
Oh, why?
Have I been told a lie?
Now I lay confused,
And my heart is bruised.
Oh, please guide me,
"You have neat eyes"
Said one of the sweetest guys
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me"
He was as sweet as can be
"When we get married..." he would always say
When did that feeling go away?
Oh it's you.
Hello again! I know, it's been so long, it's so nice to see you!
What do you think? I've barely been holding myself together.
Are you kidding, I've never been better! How's the wife?
I thought that if I gave you your stuff back, then your ghost would leave me. And I thought that if I flirted with other guys, I'd forget the words you told me before. But the truth is, everything I do makes my heart ache more.
To whom it may concern,
Actually, you’re the one that should be concerned.
I would say your name but even when I call on your name
You still don’t listen.
Dear the person who took my heart,
Once upon a time, there was a girl and a guy who had very paranoid ideas about meeting people.
my eyes leak
like the old pipes here
a little bit broken
unless you angle them right
but i’ve been off kilter
since you left
bent me out of shape
careless
Hearts are very delicate
They can be torn apart
It is important who you give it to
For they could use it to only make you look like a fool
You never know what will happen,
Life goes in unexpected ways.
Through the hard times,
And good times,
Even the indifferent.
They say “when life gives your lemons,
As I fade in and out of sleep
Thoughts of you dance through my mind
It pains me to know
That you never experienced such sorrows
Your first love
Ill use the love letters you wrote me to fuel the fire I light to destroy this paper house I have been living in.
Buy into the aestheticI wouldn't spare you a dime
I am my own butcher
of my edifice
Not a single truth
nor a single lie
Could slow the ebbs in current
Could stop the rising tide
Love is enticing
Icing on cake
I'll go where it takes me
I hope I don't break
I've made journeys to hearts
Universes apart
I've seen, but I've felt much more
"The windows to our soul", they are often named,
an indicator for first impressions - or feelings.
Blessed as they were, when I first saw you.
Though sadness you emanated, curiousness I took in.
Approximately, there’s a 1 chance in 10^390 (it’s in scientific notation, and it happens to be quite the number, biggest number here actually.) of life on earth, it is so near to impossible that it would never happen in the 13 billion years or so
7 months forward and i'm sitting here all alone
i forget your face I only remember in the songs
I'm feeling lost and
Do you remember when we could finally date?
I do
You gave me this pink paper ring
I could tell you spent hours making it for me
I cherished that ring as if it was worth thousands
Because to me, it did
The letter of a tragedy
Where it all began;
It all started with the letter A
I flew up to the skies with him
I hate you.
The thought of you makes me insane.
The way you manipulate when you look at me with eyelids heavy and lips curled.
because i love You,
i don’t mind being ignored by You.
i don’t mind being in this one-sided relationship
which i know will destroy me.
but because i love You,
I drank the poison,
And became addicted.
You warned me to ease off of it,
Then you went and flipped it.
You became addicted to my addiction.
But when I lost my supply,
You made sure I got high,
We were born from the same star
But stars burn out
So we did the impossible
We fell here
To this safe haven
But what is safe when it's gripped by your screaming?
Can nudes save us?
wings flapping in the windhairs standing on their end crows calling to offendtheir life can no longer mend.she dreamed of nothing sweetthey could no longer meetshe watched her girl get beatthey failed to be discreet .screaming shouting hatingno lo
It's a crowded room, but all I
see is summer rain on cobblestones, and through
a rain-stained lens, something points my vision
to you.
Like the headlights of two cars
behind red lights at a midnight
I look in the mirror
And see everything he couldn't.
I see the angel kisses spread across my skin
Even the one on my lip.
I see the gentleness in my eyes
And the hope in my smile.
Dear momma
Thank you for giving me Real Love
The kind of love where
I feel safe enough
To be myself and shine
Real Love
Healthy love, is not one sided
it is more than a rush once two people are united
it is to put full trust in someone and not wanting to let go
it is not listening and going with the flow
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I fucked up, I know.
It doesnt mean anything now
but if somehow it means something,
I only meant well.
I only wanted to feel what it was like
Because I love you, I decided to stay
I listened to every possible excuse that you had to say
Because I love you, I clung on until the very end
"I like you too."
Something that I,
for five years,
have longed to hear
you tell me.
My heart throbbed
with ecstasy,
My stomach panged
in surprise,
You love me, I sit in my room playing games. You tell me you love me.
I love you, I sit at my desk in my room playing games. You tell me you love me.
You love me, I sit on my bed in my room playing games. You tell me you hate me.
I used to obsess about my books being perpendicular on the night stand; that was of course before you found your way into my life.
I know what's wrong.
I'm so afraid to jump and fall
My heart wants to jump
She thinks it's worth it, she's been hurt
but not enough.
My mind sees the hurt and warns of the danger
I tried it.
I will try anything once.
I tried to trust you,
believe your promises.
I tried to follow you
even if you were wrong.
I tried to love you,
trust me this time.
I wonder if you know
what you do to me
or what happens
when you look into my eyes.
And I wonder if
a heart could break
from strain of
staying away too long.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for the lies, the things I've done, and constantly reminding you how little I care.
Because I love you
I send good morning texts
And goodnight texts
Because I love you
I remind you to eat
And make sure you're okay
Because I love you
I break down knowing we won't last
The world doesn't understand our love.
It cannot comprehend the myriad of emotions you make me feel.
They do not see us the way we do,
Only seeing us as two females in a heteronormative society.
it's late to be thinking about youwe went our separate ways over two years agobut we also said i love you a little over three years agothat's what sticks with methat you left and how you were my first love
All my life
I have been taught to work towards my desires-
And turn them into possessions.
And for the most part,
I have been successful.
Wish to cut deep into my skin,
Past the bones and intestines,
To my inner layer of blood and marrow
To take away my pain tomorrow
Wish to drown inside the water
Were even sound does not bother
The Words
Spill onto
The paper in
Dropletts of agony
Things that left my mind
When the tenderness of the moment
Encapsulated me in the
Woven Tapestry of
Your adortion
You wouldn’t know it if you met her
But her moods can make
Hurricanes in your soul
Storms that pour and destroy
And seem to last forever
Did I call you beautiful enough?
Was I so careless as to
Confine those words to a feeling?
That time you sat on the counter
While we made heart-shaped cookies
Those innocent smiles and hugs
Did they give your heart a tug?
Make you fall deeper and deeper each time
Make you wish you were all mine
My heart swayed with your sensation
My threads too bare
Heart Disease is the leading cause of death in America in all genders.
It penetrates your atriums, obliterates your aortas, and annihilates your artery’s.
They say nothing sucks the life out of you like Death.
You enter a farmer’s market
There is a wide range of fruits
From oranges apples pomegranates and yes
Even the controversial tomato
Toxic thoughts arrive uninvited
Memories of love unrequited
Undecided on what’s there for me, I wonder why you weren’t there for me
Everyone said, “Tread carefully”,
I was running on ice and never knew I fell in
When you were my craving,
you crippled desire,
gave aid to aversion, extinguished our fire.
We flickered and faulted in ashes,
your potion of passion was potent but proved to be altered.
It may be you,
Spoken
Communicated
Listen
Comforted
Focused
Responded
Stopped
Stopped
Stopped
I am sorry, it is time for me to depart
I have seen the person that you really are
Yet, he wishes for me to stay
Pulling the same trick just so I stick around for another day
You
Are the hope around my neck.
The pendant on my chest rests on the
Padlock to my blood that Stained
all over the dress you stressed to see me-
What they don’t tell you about being pretty is that boys will kiss you without your permission and lead you into their bedrooms when their parents aren’t home
Because I love you
I believe your lies
when you tell me
I’m your everything
Because I love you
I listen to your evil slurs
when you drunkenly
push me against the wall
Your shoulders held up with gilded rope.
Delicate, as if gliding on the wind.
My words slip, voice chokes and drowns,
and for an insignificant time, I’m lost
and strung out. The moment came and the moment
Do you want to know why dreams are better than reality?
In dreams, you can be with people who you could never be with in reality.
You can hug and hold them with no fear of separation.
Do you want to know what my biggest fear regarding you is?
Do you want to know what I worry about the most when I look at you?
He was a child when he figured out his life plan.
Heartbreaker.
Maybe he know his future occupation would consist of broken
Tears seamlessly
Streaming
he looked me in the eyes and
told me please don't cry
"it was only this one time
i'd never re-commit this crime"
it's been three years since
still every time i hear his name, i wince
Becasue at one time I love you: I let you touch my soul
you had the magic touch two mend my torn heart
At three you kept my bed warm like a burning piece of coal
when no one else was there four me
As you were the light that rose upon my life the day you sung your beautiful melody to me,
I never wanted you to leave; but if your happiness depended on it then that's all I ever wanted was for you to be happy,
it scares me
how much control you have over me
if I give you my heart
will you tear it apart?
I find it kind of frightening
how you struck me like lightning
scars on my heart
For my entire life
I never had a close friend
And a life of outlandish interests
Outcast me from the mainstream
And left me in a bubble.
i guess i’ll back away from you, untangling the knots i’ve made around the concept of us. why does love always leave me with scabbed knees from landing too hard on the concrete.
I heard you in the wind
The whispers were your voice
I felt you in my bones
The sweetest familiar noise
I saw you in the waves
Summer time, crisp hot air, beautiful blue sky, and calmness,
Heart damaged along with a wall built up the highest; trying to forget,
Walking to the corner store to get some drinks,
mirror, mirror
on the wall
who is the fairest of them all?
perhaps it is the boy who used to pinch me in preschool
thinking hitting girls was what made rugrat boys cool
I'm afraid of change
Afraid of not knowing
What the next person
Will be like with me
Afraid of what they
Might think about me
Will they leave me
Empty, alone, vulnerable
Writing a poem in
I want to be with you all the time
Because I love you
I want to not be miles apart
Because I love you
Don't talk to other guys
Because I love you
Don't talk to anyone, just go home
I should have known better than to stare into your eyes for too long
Or to read into your touch
Now I sit here, pulling at strings
But there is nothing to grab
I thought, for a moment, that I might have you
Because I love you
I find it hard to breathe
The walls crash down on me
Filling my lungs with screams
Screams that suffocate
I let you in at the beginning, because I love you.
I grew to like onions and watching horror movies, because I love you.
I lost every friend, every other relationship, because I love you.
Because I love you,
I will call you Dear,
I will let you yell too,
I will ignore my fears.
Because I love you,
I will hold in these tears,
I will smile for you,
I will call for help.
SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT IT’S LIKE IN THAT MAN’S SHOES AND WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE SO LOVED, AND UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOURSELF
It’s been a few days,
Since I’ve looked in your eyes
But I know the joy is gone,
And you feel empty inside.
I peek over my shoulder,
Catch you turning away.
You think I didn’t notice,
A healthy relationship.
What is "healthy"?
Saying I love you when you get off the phone?
A good night and good morning text?
A like on instagram?
A tagged picture?
I was sixteen
And with an open heart
I did dream and fantasied alot
I was loved and knew it
I strolled to adulthood en route
I fell in love and my imaginations widened
I would lay awake all night
Cut me open
tear me apart,
This life wasn't chosen,
so rip out my heart.
Replace it with stones
so that I may turn cold.
Only then will I not care and still know
When the one you love most is getting hurt,
what do you do?
I knew her the best; we spent so much time together,
it's impossible anyone surpassed our closeness.
My heart was hungry, a mouth to feed
It thumped in my chest,
the sound like a thousand pounding feet flooding the streets of the Big Apple
You appeared, close but out of reach,
It's 1st January
Happy new year
That's all I could write on the card
I was a little apprehensive as to what you'd say
But I was a bit anxious too
Had you rejected the card or made a seen
What then?
I Love You means so little
When You're Crazy hurts so much
I Love You Means so little
When your heart is too cold to touch
I thought you wanted the best for me
Tell me, was it true?
Motherless Fatherless -child, alone in the world looking for direction.She's missing her fathers protection and her mothers affection.What she wouldn't give for just a moment so Surreal-- to feel, the touch of them both.
You liked to look at old things like houses.
It was like a system check to make sure you were alive.
Then one night, while I was resting
under the hazy watch of a dark sky,
you made my body your house.
I waded in the waters of nostalgia,
of heartbreak.
Dancing under the veil of midnight glamour,
the ghost of laughter admist unkept promises.
Silence,
fractured her,
Maybe sunsets remind me of you,
because I'm always left with the view of watching you fall,
each time for someone else.
because i love you
i will still wish you the best
and hope you are happy
even though i am not
i will wish the best for you
even when you find another person
to help you fix yourself
Every inch of my skin where you touched me now burns
Every emotion you made me feel must burn
Every memory of us will burn
I do not hate you
I hate what you did
The things you said
While we were innocent and happy
you made me feel like flowers
And I couldn't keep them to myself
So I decided to plant them all over
and make them as beautiful as you made me
What can I say or do?I've begged you to stay but it seems that's the reason you walked away, giving me the excuse it's me, not you.With my heart torn into two what was I suppose to do?Sit around and cry, I've tried and I still feel awful.I've talk
Giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, no take
I thought that just for once, my heart would catch a break
Break as in rest, but instead the shit shattered
That boy.
That boy you see on Instagram,
You think he is cute?
Well on the outside
He is…
But on the inside
He will crush you.
He will break you.
As soon as you connect with him,
Once upon a time in suburbia not far,
there lived a middle aged women who lived on a hill.
Rotten Core.
That's what I found of you
the one I adore.
Adored.
Once you came to my house with that apple,
Charming, your smile full of esctacy
It's been a while since you shattered my heart.
You left me all the memories to remember,
i don't regret any cause I loved you from the start.
I still see your smile in front of me,
i still feel your touch on me,
The cave that protected me from the outside storm seems to be falling apart from withinLarge stones drop from the roof and the crash bounces off the wallsThe whistling and ringing in my ear are deafening The collapse forces me out And the storm co
The years passed so swiftly,
And swiftly so too did I fall in love,
My only life’s desire for you to embrace me,
It was pure luck
I saw her from far away
From the darkness of the brush
And I prepare my jaws to crush
Her name was Little Red
We carved our future into the starsAnd then sat back and watched them float And boy did they move TwistingLeapingDancing through the night They spoke our lives Only,
You left a hole a mile wide And now I know how it feels to die This burning pit and vast alone I hate that you left but I’m glad you’re gone How could you shred my heart like this
Innocent eyes, hope alive, secret desires, tongue tied, plastic smile,
Manipulative mind, genuine heart, conflictive thoughts, emotions rot,
I know you don't want to talk to me because you need to breathe
but I'm restless without you
they say the only ones up at 4am are the loved and the lonely
but I'm broken
You see
I cupped you in my hands and i said you couldn't leave.
How silly of me.
You burrowed your way through my ring finger
and fought your way free.
I saw a picture of me and you today.
Why?
Am I like this?
I'm sick of you...
I hate you,
a little.
Not a lot,
but I hate you.
at least a litt.le.
I'm trying,
to figure out what
my eyes won't get any less redand my heart won't get any less deadif you were to buy me everything in the world,or lay me down in bed
as if pulled by strings
two puppets of the same master
lift their cups to open lips
fill themselves
spill over the edges
drink each other in
think of love and of sin
and the convergence of fate
The last step I took was forwards, then backwards
that's like riding in a Benz and then pushing an Acura
I always tell this sob story, they say don't chase after her
I let you inside of my brain,
didn't understand why you caused me pain,
I find myself waking up in the middle of the night,
Trying desperately to feel alright,
There is lead in my bones,
Your voice haunts me.
Your image dances in my head.
I cannot escape this feeling
that's been filling me with dread.
I am in a constant cycle
of anxiety and despair,
'cause every time I go to sleep,
We were kids turning pages,
in a couple year long love story
and it ended pages ripped,
i'm sorry.
My starry eyes didn't last, dear diary,
I kept them waiting, then left them
And then the rustling
Of my shaking trust
Fills my heart
Those shards of betrayal
Go deeper than I thought
Hurting more than I had anticipated
It's some things I wish I could delete from my memory
Like the way we used to be
I wish I could un-feel the safety I felt with your arms around me
Wish I could outrun the thoughts that chase me
I fell in love once and that will never happen again
People say there are plenty more fish in the sea but no, not for me
See love like this was supposed to be a dream
At first it was rose petals and silver bells
The stitched wound was ripped open The heart bledIt ached like an earthquakeThat didnt seem to end Breaths waverBody shakes Please save herBefore she breaks
You used to take my breath away with just a single glance,
Suddenly appearing behind me,
You'd beg me to slow dance.
I was captivated by your confidence,
And eagerness to impress,
There is a voice in the back of my skull that screams for release,
That can only be found in a razor blade, or between your lips.
If I pick and prod at my flesh enough I realize soon enough I can't feel anything,
You know that moment in your life where you just want to die?
because you feel that it absolutely
could not possibly
get any worse;
I felt this
before I met you.
I look at you
and I cannot believe
that you don't know
can't feel
my depth of love,
cannot reach your
hand inside my heart
and pull yourself out.
I wonder feverishly
11:11pm I wished for you,
I always wish for you.
I think that's what scares me the most, I cant stop wishing for you.
I close my eyes as the tears roll down my cheeks and a shiver crawls down my spine.
She sits on the swing right outside her window.
The window where she use to sneak out of every night.
It's 1 in the morning and her thoughts lead her back.
I can't sleep without the window open at night.
I can hear the roaring of cars in the distance.
It reminds me of whe we would listen for cars before we crossed the street.
These images that I play in my head,
never see to disappear.
Like the image of you turing away,
not a galance back.
But you've wittness my fairytale
finally come to an end.
We were supposed to bike through Central Park and ride through the trees.We were supposed to take a trip to the shore and sleep on the beach.We were supposed to plant your garden and protect it from the bees.We were supposed to cuddle all night in
If I fell, would I feel it?
The impact that would shake my bones?
Or would my body remain numb,
unaware of the cold?
Would my heart still beat,
thumping against its cage?
Love
is a broken promise,
signing away your life.
Trying to find
clarity;
instead, finding strife.
I am the human embodiment of fear and trepidation.
My body is a reeking cesspool of panic so I lie awake in bed like an earthworm lay on cement and
rot
I look around this hopeless cold world and all I see is rain..A broken mirror to my heart, the pieces of pain..How soon we forget..Long years and a lot of regrets..
you build with your words , you make sky scrapers from your sentences and cathedrals with stanzas ,
I'm not your Prince Charming
I'm not your Romeo
I'm not the one you call darling
but don't cry infinite sorrows
Let me show you how to love
and to laugh and cry
Let me help you get back up
Can you find me for me? I can’t believe this happened that was a big shaker I can’t even find my pieces.
I taught you how to love me and instead you took the information to use it for herThat's all I was for youA source on how to become better for someone elseIm a used book that got put back on the shelfEverything I ever showed you on how to love was
Remember when you laid next to me in my bedYou remember, yeah don't you?Covers over us and bodies pressed togetherYou loved me, didn't you?Well that's what you said when we were done fucking
I stood in the spot where we'd make out in my kitchen; where my parents couldn't seeI felt the loneliness in the lack of your presence and couldn't help but think How did we get to this? I thought what we had was love I thought you wanted
He made her feel so alive She yearned for that feeling of joyOnly he gave that to herHer eyes lit up like the night sky at the very sight of himHer heart came out of her chest with every word he spoke and lyric he sangShe felt so alive with him Be
You never said thank you for the rides home
You never returned the looks in the hallways
The texts with the girl of the same name, I would never do that to you
Your not here anymore
Makes me wonder if you did leave
A troubled soul that didn't know
What he had when he left
We are learning a topic
About something you endured
Everyone makes mistakes..
and everyone forgives,
but why'd you forgive me...
I remember the way you talked about him...
You were actually happy when you got to talk,
but then I came into the picture...
The thunder; it roars in the night resembling my stomach,
for which I haven't ate a thing in days.
Staring at my food, picking around it with my fork.
The wind seems to blow cold sharp shards into my skin.
First Sight
Boundaries between,
Walls knocked down
Skies are cleared,
King finds his crown.
Smiles all the same
But one in particular;
Remains.
Butterflies in the brain
It's days like today when everything's just a little bit harder
I'm constantly pricked with little reminders of a past life
The breeze on a walk with an old friend whispers our memories
I keep thinking that someone needs to pay
What can i do to make that happen
I know i never will do a thing because of my nature
Yet the fact they never saw my true pain frustrates me to no end
I wish i punched you
I want to love you America,
but how can I when our greatest mistake as a nation
is preaching to our youth that what is in our textbooks
can never happen again
we preach intelligence
Squeezing My chest is ...Squeezing Calling out for you to Squeeze me Hold me close and Acknowledge my existence without making me feel kiddish Like a child with a crush on a teacher
Her words can hold rhythm with the way your heart beats
Her mouth spews promises
I wish she could keep
Theres whole galaxies in her head
But she's afraid to leave the earth
They say God is in the cosmos
i told him i loved him
and he didn't say it back
and now he's standing in the doorway
watching me pack up my bags
begging me
"don't leave"
but why would i stay
why would i waste my time
This venom stung me so deep that all I see is a blurred vision,
The random feel of a pain so strong that all I fear is getting burned.
You painted the black canvas in a dessert filled with sorrow,
I'm tired
I miss you
You don't care
So why do I either bother writing how I feel
I tried with you
Over and over I failed with you
You didn't care
You brought me so many tears
You committed a murder.......
..... It's when I died.
I wasn't a soldier, and only you survived.
It hurt so much!
Your intentional blows!
The intangible touch, that left my heart holes.
Why does it hurt so much?
The words that fled your mouth
into my ears
still linger in my brain.
And the promises you made,
the hope you fed me
and the lies I gobbled up,
gullible child I am,
I'm sad
I'm mad
My music is gone
For so long
Headphones are dead
With my soul along with it
Why do I do such hurtful things..
My mind, body & soul are just in separate places
I feel I'm not where I'm suppose to be
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if I've caused you any sadness these past couple days.
I'm sorry if I creeped you out.
I'm sorry if I disgusted you with the idea of my love.
I'm sorry if I put a bullet through your heart.
The pain is almost unbearable.
I never excpected to love you, it just happened.
And now here I am wishing you'd just speak to me.
You flirt with everyone, but the one boy that flirts back is shunned.
As I remember my happy times, I long for them back.
Me just a whisper of your past, but you are still screaming in my ear.
I still laugh at our walks together, our childish conversations.
You call this a crush?
I feel like shit everyday you avoid me.
I feel like I deserve to die because what I've done.
God has cursed me and left me to wilt in this ditch.
In an ocean of darkness, there is one light for me.
And it shines brighter than even the sun above.
It is so close, yet not within reach.
I try to get closer, but the light fades into the distance.
I lie in bed like a corpse dreading these words,a small word that pierces your heart like a knife.Goodbye..I feel the hot tears roll down my face as the butterflies in my stomach start to tremble. The smell of home enters my system as I put my he
You were my world.
You were the sun of my solar system.
The music of my life.
You mattered to me more than anything.
And you still do.
Did you ever think about me?
Did you ever dream about us?
Was it a dream?
Us?
We were so happy.
So childlike.
So carefree.
What happened?
It was too short.
I messed it up, didn't I?
My happiest days were with you.
Do you think this is what I wanted?
Do you think I follow you so I can torment you?
Do you think I'm happy?
Do you think I am mad at you?
Do you think I hate you?
I would never be mad at you.
Why do I love you?
I love you because you make gremlin faces at me.
I love you because your teeth don't quite line up.
I love you because you bounce all over the place.
Every time I think of our time as friends, I die inside.
I feel as though I just swallowed broken glass.
I want to curl up in a ball and cry forever.
Everytime I see you I think of my mistakes.
This feeling is brand new, and I'm not sure if I like it.
It's intensity burns brighter than anything I have ever known.
It gives me hope and motivation.
It also makes me feel hopeless and demotivates me.
Everyday I fight a war.
I get up without the guarantee of seeing you.
I go to school without you to make it bearable.
I smile without you to make it real.
I laugh without you to make it full.
People cannot be broken
Nevertheless, there will come a time
When you meet someone who will make you feel like
Hundreds of pieces of pottery
Scattered on the ground
Darkness cloaks her being
like shadows dancing upon the gravel.
No angel but all devil
once again I am left
with a bird for a heart -
it's winter and the bird is stuck
it calls for its mate
it pecks at the bars
once again I am left
with a bird for a heart -
My past life used to appeal to me, now it is dreary in comparison.
No one I truly loved, no full happiness, no perfect peace.
I could fall asleep without tears or anguish,
Do you know how much the silent treatment hurts?
When you put yourself within arms reach,
but you're still out of reach.
Everyday, I see you, hear you,
but you don't seem to see or hear me.
Around this time last year,
We were sitting in your car,
With my arms around your neck,
And our eyes up on the stars
We blew up our bubble
With hot breaths
Of late night conversations
Of things I wanted to confess
Of things he wanted to hear
Beeps of the monitor wake me
He’ll make it through wait and see
He’s still not moving
And now I’m shaking
Crying out, holding his hand
Fatal Infatuation
As a child I was told of the significance of what we call love
The sweet serendipity that it brings to your life
I found the feeling of love in a teenage boy, deep in his caramel eyes.
The warmth I felt when I stared kept me warm through those cold October nights
HE CHOSE HER
DIDN'T CHOOSE ME
A VERY ANGRY WOMAN
WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME?
I LOVED HIM
THROUGH THE YEARS
HE CAUSED ME PAIN
HE CAUSED ME TEARS.
HE LEFT ME WHEN
When I was thirteen,
I knew exactly who
I was going to marry.
He would be tall,
and strong,
with black hair
and even blacker eyes.
He would be my protector.
"3-2-1" Happy New Year!
My ears were ringing from the sound
of cries as I fought my way through the crowd.
On a dark sidewalk I stared as I could feel the time moving in the air.
It was no longer 2016.
You taught me that my body was for lease, that I was there for rent every time your "friend" kicked you out of your place, you signed our contract with rhymes cause you knew I've always had a thing for emcees, wanted to find love like Zeke and Myl
It wasn’t hard for you to sweep me off of my feet,
I took only one sip of you but already felt weak in the knees,
My thoughts and emotions for “us” could not be tamed,
The boy who played the Dad to my Mom in preschool.
The one who looks like a Who from Horton Hears a Who, and shifts his eyes when we walk past each other on the Coca-Cola stained floor of our church.
I’ll never forget
The day it all started.
Driving home,
I wasn’t excited to see you.
I didn’t really miss you;
Assuming it was nothing.
I’ll never forget
The call to my best friend.
I traded my sorrows for a pretty face
And a bottle
I traded my sorrows for him
And a cigarette to my lips
My sorrows were replaced
Please don't dip your Chicken Nuggets in Ketchup
Just seeing it makes me red.
Nothing against your personal eating habits.
Just if you’re around me
Please don't dump your Chicken Nuggets in Ketchup.
I know better than me. I know that I should… I know that I shouldn’t listen to it, it makes me soft, smooth.
ACT I
The thing that shaped my year?
Well…it was not a what,
or a when, or a where,
or even a why…
It was a who.
But who…was this who?
My parents always warned me about the drugs on the street
Never once did they warn me about the ones with brown eyes and can say,
“I love you.”
Love is just a joke.
Nothing but lies written on a note.
Hearts of pink and red,
thoughts of roses on the bed.
Torn apart,
As if that note were my heart.
A note with x's and o's
I know that you don't really care,but I'm here so you should deal with it.Just because you're avoiding my eyesdoesn't mean that I'll disappear.Just because you pretend that it doesn't hurt
I don't think you understandhow hurtful I am.I can't decideif you're ignoringwhat's obviously there,or just not seeing it.
No matter how much I try,I've failed to succeed.Every word I have spoken,is constantly breaking me.Ripping at my heart,tearing at my soul. I've told myself this is better,you won't get hurt this way.
I love you
I replied.
I wanted his future with mine.
His carefully guided wisdom.
His whole-hearted embrace.
Imagine a life without.
I hide my face from you
in an attempt to forget
the way your hand
perfectly in mine.
You promised
to never let go,
but instead of using
my hand to hold yours,
i feel like a shell;
a phrase which doesn’t suggest
i feel hollow.
a shell protects whats inside,
but that isn’t to say that
Mary ached to see Joe with her, in the place the place that she once was.
How they had been so close, and then it seemed like he was done.
I lost myself. I lost myself when I stopped looking people in the eyes because all mine held was pain anymore and it hurt like hell to talk about it. I lost myself when every weekend after that horrible night those bad habits took over and I mad
I try to stay positive
but lately that just means gettin’ lit.
What's easier rolling one
or facing my problems?
I'll tell you right now,
happiness is halfway through the bottle.
I look in the mirror of the year and see him behind me.
January started with a ring. White, blue, me, you.
Curled together and sprinkled with glittering gems.
As the snow melted I took courses in depression and numbness,
I went away from all things
I knew.
I changed my view on life,
paid attention to the little things.
I learned to appreciate the small gestures
made by strangers walking by.
I left
Letting you in was like letting the alcohol rinse inside the alcoholic's mouth
Dangerous, toxic, and satisfying
You kept hurting me, taking advantage of the love I had given
I was broken and used up
Tender hearts prepared for the unknown
Wishful eyes seeing what's shown
Anxious arms carrying weight of life
Scared souls with love so rife
Jubilant days like a child among the park
In the beginning, there was Us.
Sometimes I thought that my smile would blind people,
It burned so brightly for you.
And nothing touched me more
I have gained nothing but pain
You destroyed every part of me,
Now I am scared to feel
All because of you.
I was thinking about the day we met
It was bliss in the start,
it was only you I gave my heart to.
You thought I was a fool,
Now I don't know what to do.
It was you that I turned to to keep the pain away.
an illusion
a mirage
of a soul
i believed
could intertwine with mine.
to build a star,
and quite possibly
contrive a piece of magic.
But alas,
i cannot see
(Do You Still Love Me?)
How lucky these sheets would have been to know you.
So suspicious It makes me wonder I never ponder the situation we had because I trusted youSooner the truth will come And to someThey think I'm wrongBut I'm really tired singing the same song Been hear for so long trying to be strongBut that's not
I need you to do me a favor.
I promise if you do this I'll stop annoying you.
Look me in the eye and tell me you don't care about me.
I need to hear you say it.
Why?
So I can let you go.
No?
Heartbreak is the heartbeat moments
Smiles fading into frowns
When happy turns to sad
In remembrance of a memory
The longing to return
I looked our old messages, and suddenly it all made sense. People don’t appreciate that kind of thing unless they understand it, and the only way you can understand it is through experience.
I look back at pictures of our childhood,
sweet grass in the curls of your chocolate hair,
bright silver eyes that pierce the soul,
pale skin, sunburnt by the constant sun of summertime,
I never knew how much it would hurt
I assumed it was an innocent emotion
How can such innocence
Hold something so dark
June 23, 2016
The day I first saw you
The day I fell in love with
Rose
I never knew how much it would hurt
I assumed it was an innocent emotion
How can such innocence
Hold something so dark
June 23, 2016
The day I first saw you
The day I fell in love with
Rose
I used to think that the everything would be fine if you left it alone.
Nothing bad would happen, everything would fix itself in the end.
A new year meant a new start.
The beginning was a blast,
and when that clock struck midnight
everything was in the past.
When spring came around,
things began to change.
I wish I was harsh
like the denial letter from a school.
I wish I was bitter
like a friend scorned.
I wish I could sting
even just half as bad as that whiskey you constantly down.
I wish I was rough
There we were smiling
We spoke 24/7
You were the first thing I woke up to
and the last before waking up only to talk to you again.
You were here.
Here we are now.
We never talk anymore.
Like the lukewarm sun on an inclement day,
It dessicates the rain that falls from these eyes,
The majestic star coruscates through the turbid storm,
Lighting up the darkest thoughts from my mind,
The pain started in his head, bouncing between his ears like a bullet richocheting through a tunnel.
Soon enough the pain slithered down his throat and into his lungs, clinging and growing like a fungus.
Love
Euphoric, Naive
Beaming, Dreaming, Falling
Team, People, Person, Withdrawal
Yelling, Crying, Annulling
Hysterical, Unfeeling
A car in the pouring rain
It goes under a bridge
Quiet
Peaceful
It comes out from under
And everything hits harder again
You were my bridge
I am so torn
My body
Being pulled in two directions
By my mind
And heart
Which do I choose?
My choice doesn’t matter
Both sides will keep pulling anyway
Equal in their force
The most powerful tears
Are those that slip out
Though the tiniest cracks
In one’s happy facade
And slide over one’s soul
Burning
Acidic
Poisonous
They leave scars
he was so bright
God, he was bright
he made my skin burn when he touched it
he made my heart race,
air so thick I couldn't get a breath
like the hottest day of mid-July.
yes, he was bright
Your name tastes sour now when I say it,
And yes I fell in love, I have no shame to admit,
I loved the things you said to me, you always called me amazing,
Love songs and empty words curled
Around ideas of what love
Should be, like horns that ram the unsuspecting,
Shaking and shattering bones
And all expectation of the
although i have not kept count of the amount of people who have walked out of my life,
like a train leaving the station—fast, abrupt, all-at-once;
i have kept count of the words that follow.
I remember the taste of your lips,
sweet,
and soft,
reminding me of fluffy clouds,
I didn't want to wash the taste of you from my mouth,
I remember your arms wrapped around my waist,
You were sitting by a hotel pool,
holding what looked like a margarita in your left hand
and a lack of energy in your right. Your eyes were the second
organs I lashed my gaze upon, your declinations
being the first.
I hate the way I fell for you... slowly, then all at once, like you pulled me down into a deep trap and told me I could never leave unless you let me. Let me go... I can't be here anymore.
They say to us,
"This generation knows nothing,
they're only children,
what do they know?"
But they don't know the battles we've fought,
the fear we faced,
the weights on our shoulders.
The way you look into my eyes shows your hunger.
You don’t want me.
You want my body.
When I see you my brain activates fight or flight.
When eyeliner smudges into sadistic mosaics of sorrow swept across the peaks of my temples,
And mascara stains virgin white sclera black,
That which peers back at me with sunken in eyes,
Things of which sting:
The breaking of the heart is the most painful when you think you've found the one, then they just walk our or your life like you were never nothing. The heart breaks when you lose someone you loved with your whole heart.
I know you exist.
Please, drop this pretense.
I feel my heart beat,
Out from beneath my feet.
I jump from my skin,
You would be such a sweet,
Sin.
You held me
To your chest.
You took me out on adventures all the time, knowing i had anxiety, saying it was fine.
You didn't let my fears take over- every event was another step closer to feeling free from the anxiousness that was attached to me.
Please fall in love with Her
Love the glints of gold in Her eyes and how Her hair brushes across Her face
Love what makes Her smile and laugh
Learn Her quirks, Her dears, Her hopes, Her dreams
Hold Her close
He walks with a step more than man Bowing beneath the doorway of her room And when he speaks it replaces the air Like cigar smoke He urges her to sit as he lights the fireplace Though she is already hot He stalks to her and his fingertips are rou
It’s always been terrifying to me…
What could possibly lie underneath the serene rapids of the Gulf of Napoli
Normally a peaceful town my family originated from.
Sutures
heal the wounded
but doom the healthy
Sutures
are more than stitches and seams
for injuries
seems they can be for hearts too
Sew your heart to mine
I am sorry,
But you cannot look through these lens again
My friend,
I have seen it fall to the bitter ground
The darkest tar,
The sound still echoes within the carved halls of my heart.
Yes I am broken and bruised,
Yes willingly, I love the abuse,
Yes the nights are long
There’s not enough distractions in the day,
Yes the reasons to leave
Outweigh the reasons to stay,
I want the ugly pictures back. I want them plastered on social media and loaded in your phone. I want the screenshots of every single snapchat or selfie back.
Today I saw you’re the books your favorite author wrote. I still have all those books you gave me sitting in a pile under a small blue table that you helped me build one day when my parents weren’t home.
If you see someone smile and it makes your breath stop, makes your brain forget what language to speak, run as fast as you can, because they’re sure to break your heart
A constant battle that never ends.
It was so much easier being friends, bhtvthe love we had was hard to deny.
Road blocks and mountain we couldn't defeat.
I never understood why you didn't fight for me.
I've got ice in my veins
Fire in my heart
My head begging for a reason
Fuck these thoughts
The childish weakness
breeding doubt like rabbits
TEARS OF AN ADOLESCENT
She was right there
seated on the front roll
with a broken heart in her hands
dressed in her usual black lace
this time with a sad face
I could see the pain deep inside her soul
Love and Lies
The feeling in my chest,
Is one I’ve felt before.
All so easy to notice,
you always said the wrong thing at the wrong time
you told me it was because you didnt have a filter
but i think it was because you didnt care
i realized that trying to forget everything you said works
Dear Brown Boy
Why are you so scared to let me in?
Allow my honey kissed lips to graze upon your coco butter skin
And effortlessly our two chocolate bodies will melt together
His eyes are grey like the sky.
His smile as white as pearl.
His mind, a mystery.
He is my opposite.
Cool.
Calm.
Collected.
and crazy.
I cannot love him.
I want to but I cannot.
Just because someone is hurt once
Does not mean they cannot
Love anyone or anything again.
I picked up my first instrument
When I was in the fourth grade.
It was bigger than I was
I miss you.
I never wanted to admit that,
But I really miss you.
You never told me the password for the PS4
And your Sly Cooper icon is
Iconic.
Heh, get it?
Do not assume I am in love with you.
Do not think that my hands clenching the front of your shirt in tight fists,
are clenched tight with the desire to pull you close.
My hands are holding you because you are here.
freckles are
the snowflakes of summer,
the reason i like this season best,
the reason i love you most.
sunny days and a sprinkler
i am tired of being
tethered to you,
of being responsible
for feelings that are
not my own,
results of your whims.
it is different and it is not the same,
because when music happens with you,
the notes create stair steps up to places
in the sky
i have never been before.
breathe out.
i need a language with more
synonyms for love
that do not strike my ears
like a slap or a secondhand
sigh,
i try to forget you.
i try to remember you.
but i cannot.
i have written you letters,
i have sung you songs,
i have penned a thousand poems,
they told me to rise
with dawn,
but i fade
with every daybreak.
maybe some are meant to live
in darkness because
shooting stars can only
i was not looking for love
in all the right or
wrong places—
i was not looking at all.
i could teach lifetimes
on happily-ever-alone.
she examines the tallies on her arm—
a red one
for each time
she’s loved
and lost.
one single black mark
Pull me close.
Don't talk.
Listen to it,
It beats,
Growing stronger,
My heart.
Pumping blood,
Don't let me run.
Make me fight for you.
So, i heard your name yet again, today.
Yep.
Still got that sour taste and rotten smell that lingers well after you're gone.
Oh, fuck you.
Wait.
That's all you ever wanted.
I’m suppose to forgive you.
In eighth grade, we had Science class together. You had sat in the row behind me until the seats were switched and we became partners.
Do you know what I would give to be partners with you again?
I wish I kissed
The hand that listened
Emotions had overflowed beautifully
Time uncovered my voice-
Promise Song, I called it.
Passion swept over me, and
Then passion died
Once upon a time,
He once looked at me in my chestnut eyes and told me I was beautiful
He once said the only person that could set his soul on fire was me
You were my life and, my light.
Then came that cold, dark night
Now the only time i see your face is in the pictures of this old place
Without you, i dont know what to do
Why did this happen to you?
Just when I think i've had enough you pull me right back in,
Oh, how your fingers on my skin are almost as sweet as your wicked kiss.
Honey, why do you stay with her when you dream of me?
No more, shall i wait for thee.
You're like my own personal drug,
Addicive and intoxicating,
You cast a spell on me,
And I can never break free.
It's dangerous,
And I know I should run,
Love is all a lie
but just to me.
Pain is the last thing that makes me cry.
It's the only thing that makes me truly see.
Everyone I've loved.....they can go die in a hole,
A key
A lock
A heart in a cage
Escape full of love & promises
Return broken & tarnished
Back in the cage
Locked away
Key thrown to the side
Never escaping again.
no pain is felt when all is painaching only lasts so longand then it’s replaced by a hole you cannot seea hole you cannot feel
You are the best thing to ever
happen to me...
but I just want to tell you
all my secrets and keep you
in all my journals...
This is our growing point,
where we actually start our lives.
We plan out our futures as if we're reading them out of a story book:
I used to tell myself I hated you.
I would whisper it under my beath when you walked by and scream it until my lungs ached in the rain.
I would write it on my skin and on paper until your name stained everything precious to me.
I’ve been lonely lately,
in a steady state of decay, feeling
like I’m not really living, just
killing time.
My body is shipwrecked,
too much water in my lungs, too many cracks
If I may be honest,
I don't feel much
anymore.
There are things,
far and few
between
that cause a twinge in my
heart.
A wilted flower,
a father's embrace,
a lover's prayer,
It's the color of fire
as it dances in the wind, alone.
It's the hue of her lips
as she leaves a trail on his neck,
like a sentence that will never be finished.
It's the color that rushes to your fingertips
Let's play a game, shall we?
Let me vester into your mind,
Hear your every thought.
Now tell me, what scares you?
I'm pretty aware that it scares many others too.
Deep into your mind I wonder,
And as I look back at who I used to be
And what we used to have
I realize that we will never be the same.
I am a shattered human and you are an unbothered god.
"I love you", I whsiper
***This was written during a dark part of my life and don't worry I am totally fine now and these thoughts are no longer a part of my mind***
Salt is an accessory, not to be consumed aloneBut, salt is bitterShrewd white crystals that should be used in moderationBut I ate too muchClumps grasp at the walls of my throat
I know what it’s like to fall in love and this is not it
i used to have foggy glassesand titchy skin that wrinkled in all the right spotsand a burdensome nose and a wacky smile cocked to the side with thin lips
she will indeed
-but she has not yet-
be all you need
-for you’ve not met-
in times of crisis
-she wasn’t here-
she’s the nicest
-don’t blame her dear-
she sticks around
You're one so heartbreakingly beautiful her hands have yet to stop aching for the feeling she once knew. § it's been months.
She told me to set you ablaze. Not in the way you did my heart, no.Nothing near as deadly. She told me to just kill you. So I did.
I like the smell of cigarettes, gasoline, and your cologne.
I like the sight of green hills, library shelves, and your laughter filled eyes.
In that moment, I knew you understood me.
In that moment, I knew you knew my pain.
In that moment, I knew you saw how much I loved you...
Because that's how much you were loving someone else.
The shadow of you lingersAround me.It mimics the feel of Your touch,Your warmth,Your lips. I teases me with memories that are better as memories.
You’re not a poet
And for that I’m glad
But still your words drip like honey
Your lie sings like a promise
And like a musician
I have no outlet
You are a tyrant
I feel like dying
Does it matter than I'm crying
You do not love me
You always retreat
I want to escape
I badly want to get away
Why do I love you
today you've stopped looking through me
finally deciding to see me
we'll journey through the cycle
meet. converse. become friends. best friends.
Lately all I've wanted to do is to be able to rewind timeAnd go back to when I could sleep in your warm embrace.If the ultimatum were that everything played out the same
As words crawl up and out of my throat
My fingers desperate to find the right note
Heart as heavy as lead but fragile as glass
Watching the ceiling fan, waiting for it to pass
The nausea the fatigue
It was like a candle being blown out: you leaving.
My world has been dark before (it always has), but
At least I had a little flame to give me hope back then.
You promised me
Wonderful, glorious things.
You promised me
A white house,
With not-blue shutters,
A pond out front,
And horses in the back
You promised me
If you ask me of love
I will tell you that it is enigmatic
That you will feel it in the trenches of your soul
And in the most lofty places of your mind
Cold crisp air slicing my lungs with every breath
Socks wet from the soggy ground,
Feet aching, becoming numb
Everything shivers with cold
January hurts
For all the pain and the nights that I cried
For all the tears For the fights
For all the times that you used me
Because you played with my heart
Why don't you f**k you?
If we had world enough, and time,
we'd ditch this town and get lost
in this beautifully dangerous realm.
The beaches and woods do not overwhelm,
and enters the chance to explore.
She was my friend.
Blonde, green-eyed,
Fair skinned and delicate.
She was perfect in more ways then one.
And I fell for her.
She was a flower,
Beautiful and dainty.
As each day goes by there is not a hour I am not thinking about you
I can't even type this poem without tears forming in my eyes
Why did you have to do me the like that?
Last night
I had the misfortune of seeing you
in my dreams
you looked at me with your sad eyes
that gleamed
then the clouds began to cry
I will join you
The shackles on my wrists
Are made of gold
And my eyes are glass
As you drag a razor across your wrists
1. When I first saw you, I didn't set my eyes on yours but instead observed your saunter from behind as you made your way into the crowd of people. I should have known something was up with you, I mean who wears brown leather jackets anymore.
Part One:I am a destroyerDestroy herDestroy himDestroy them
Destroyer of worlds of multifarious dimensions.
He made everything better
I don’t know how he did it and I don’t think he did either
He could help me through anything
You really think I care that you have messed up?
I know about your reputation,
I know about your past.
And really, that doesn't change anything,
Because you are still you.
And for some reason,
I remember last winter,
You said it'd be alright.
I looked in your eyes for warmer weather,
But then the fire turned to ice.
What we once had, it was burning,
But now, the flame has gone away.
I try to find you in everyone.
certain laughs,
places,
walks,
store fronts,
forgotten jokes,
left over french fries,
dusty books,
but they’re only parts of you.
I was ten years old the first time I ever visited Washington.
I loved it.
Two years later, I met a boy who called it home.
I loved him.
My face was the Washington sky.
I first started writing poetry when I first started getting confused
in our society, you have to use money: fine
all things must die: alright
you are unhappy more often than most people: ok
Saying too much is regretful.Saying too little is poignant. But what is it when you feelyou've done both at the same time?There are words left on my tongue,shards of sentences I'll never utter
Stop acting like he abused you.
You're the one who calls him worthless every single day.
Quit acting like you're all he has.
We all know his friends and family love him very much.
Since you left I have changed.
I feel like crying over every little thing,
I swallow tears when I drop a book
I haven’t said much to my friends lately
I thought about you then
I wanted to fight for you
I didn't want it to end
I thought about you then
I wondered how you were doing,
I meant to call,
to tell you that I missed you
The shades of black and white appealed to me
Like a thief finding comfort in the shadows
The feeling of ink in my hands felt like home
Like the familiar arms of a lover
I remember you as something remarkable A silver lining in the string of grey.Yet you tugged the endings of my nerves until it broke.And my body paid dearly for
I need you to promise me you'll pick up the pieces of my heart that are broken,
for I am afraid that if too many pieces are lost,
I'll lose myself completely,
There is nothing worse than betrayal, because it signals the end of a friendship.
You claim I betrayed you, but I did no such thing.
After all, I'm not the backstabber.
I'm not the trash talker.
I'm not the cheater.
I wanted himHe wanted herFeelings are still deep within my heartAs I lay in bed thinkingThinking about our conversationsThinking about how in love I amThinking about the betrayal
I lost myself. Why? Why do you do this to me? Constantly blinding my eyes, clouding my mentality, forcing my heart to beat faster. Why? Why do you allow this to happen?
A gun went off
people were hurt or worse- killed
A gun went off
all because the shooter didn't like who they loved.
My heart goes out to all those who've suffered
there is a face
behind my face--
there is a frown
behind my smile--
there is a life
beyond this hell--
there is a place
that does not wait--
the ribs that stick
Darkness envelops me from that speck of light that I aimed to reach for
Parents didn't believe in my depression and marked it off as "wants for attention"
I see youI see your strength and your charm.And that smile that makes daylight jealous.I see the outlet of your frustrations in the valleys of your triceps.I've memorized the divots in your lips as they approach mine.I hope this is how I will reme
Yes has served me the great fall
Of the last one that gave me life
With my sadness fall the rose
Cutting my wings
Je t'adore I adored you
With the stupidity of your wings
You`re my love of pacotille
She dressed in all black,
with the most colourful mind.
Questioning the universe
about how beauty is defined.
Is it not strange that autumn is so beautiful,
yet everything is dying?
sun rising, yeast baking in the soiled sheets. froth of your love like latte lattice stuck to the brim of my tongue. bric-a-brac baby, midas touch, gold sheen of betrayal in morning love.
today i saw the trees bloom. i saw their buds unfurl, miniature fingerlings reaching into the world, and i-i forgot about how you made me feel. i won’t let you off that easy, no,
leave me be
let me see for myself the cruelty
i know you supposedly didn't mean to hurt me
so why am i sitting here with my heart bleeding and these tears streaming
let down and left down i lay praying
It’s funny, when asked by most, one would assume the hardest part of heartbreak is blame: the reason, who to blame, and what it entitles. For me, it was the when.
A threadbare silence wraps itself
Around my hearing,
Stopping the sounds that
Have submerged my skin and
It replaces the noises with
My own hammering thoughts
Though I beg for
Dove dark chocolate,
One of the purest enjoyments in life
Foil bends and crinkles as
I relish the moment in which
I open the clearanced Valentine
Which was somehow abandoned
I realised, in light of
the way you came and went,
When breaking up with someone you love,
the last thing you want is consent.
My feelings for you have not changed since day one
When we first met in 6th grade I knew that what I felt was real
Even after we went our separate ways
My feelings for you will never sway
The sky exposes my melancholy and distress,
I won't be the girl next to you in a white dress.
Why did you ruin our dreams?
Perhaps it was a nighmare in reality and woke you up in screams.
Time is valuable
It is not malleable
I cannot change it
But use it like money, I can only spend it
I took the time to discover
And the rumors I had to uncover
Black pain of love is what I already have
Is pain green Yellow Purple Blue Golden
Gray White were my destiny when I loved you
Pain Violet Orange Dark-Blue
So red the blood of the disintegration of my soul
Beatings, bruising, cuts and scars
Smiles to hide the pain
Wishing on a shooting star
That I could fly away
Heartbreak, tears, screams and cries
Hidden day by day
Covered up with laughter
As my unattainable love sat handsome in my head,
I dreamt of the could haves, and poetry, I read.
The classics inspired me -- like Browning and Donne,
Eliot and Plath and Shakespeare and Young.
As I gaze into his eyes
I can tell the difference between your warmth and his.
I compare his love and yours
And that’s when I realized
you are the reason the ancients worshiped the sky.someone so beautiful could not have come from the dirt of the Earth,you were born in the aftermath of a supernova. you have galaxies blooming inside of you
Hand me a pair of scissors
I’ll cut the steel ropes
That led straight to your heart
At least I’ll try
If only I could get closer to you
That end of the rope is the thinnest
Never could I turn to one who knows me as you do
I thought that I could never be myself until I met you.
Endless, restless nights spent awake just holding it in,
Yet you were right there, as though you were kin.
I wish there was some beautiful poetic way of explaining how i feel.
I wish i could paint my words into a picture.
But i cannot.
Because i do not know how to make the feeling of absolute worthlessness,
i used to be every girl
in every song you heard
i used to pollute your mind
and populate your world
but it's not okay anymore
and you don't want me there
the way you did before
i called you babe
last night in a dream
you stuttered but said love
what do you need?
and made me your heart
and i felt whole again
by being just yours
every hair on end
you took my hand
To the boy who loves her next,
Please know that she’s really fragile.
She’s far too sensitive,
but that gives you a reason to hold her
and tell her everything is gonna be okay
Liquid crystal, a crystal harder and more beautiful than any diamond.
The smell or iron filled her nose,
The thin red lines inflating like small red balloons,
The pain tasted like immature bitter melon,
so many emotions my body can't contain
continuously being suffocated like an un-oxygenated flame
if someone would put me out how grateful i would be
for my emotions--never ending--are shifting like the trees
People say, “No pain. No Game.”
That somehow we must
Commit pain for the game.
Why must feel
The grief, the ache, the discomfort
Be the counterpart to
The match, the sport, the struggle
After having my heart completely cut in half
My life was woe
I didn't know
What my purpose in life
Was anymore
I couldn't see what there
Was to look forward to
I was a robot just walking
As I was staring up at the skies
the wind blew you right through my mind
I looked at the gaps between my fingers and realized
your hands would fit perfectly into mine
It's very strange,
The way some things change
As it all goes by so fast
and our poor hearts hardly ever last.
You were a part of my happiness
I've got the scars on my heart to prove my pain
After this I will never be the same
You say I only have me to blame
But you, the liar, should feel ashamed
I've got scars on my heart to to show why I cry
5:35 am
Here I am
Searching
I know not what I'm looking for
But I know
I need to find something
6:17 am
Here I am
Took one notification
To know what I'd hoped I'd find
If you had asked me a couple months ago the question “What is the one thing or one person you could not live without,” I would have answered, without hesitation or doubt in my mind.
I would have told you it was him.
all i need is you, my dear.
i need to feel the waves of your love.
seeing you was like going to the beach,
though i always said i wouldn't go in the water,
i always did, and when i did, i'd never leave.
Painful yet joyous,
Love can cause smiles and tears.
It's what we live for.
Can't live without love?
Love gifts you to feel alive;
while risking heartbreaks.
you,
with your dark brown hair
and your green eyes
made me feel
like i
was the only girl in the world
and you
the only boy
and yet
why,
oh why
baby, i drank a little something
but i still can't get you out of my mind
i drank a little something,
just a little bit of wine.
i drank a little something,
but i still can't find the right frame of mind.
i am not a hotel. don’t pack your bags only to stay a week or twodon’t come to me only when you need somewhere to get away from everythingi am not a hotel.i am a home.let me be your home.
I drink it to rememberthe night that we first met,for the many nights there after,for the nights you'll soon forget. Remembrance of there was,but more importantly what might have been,will never stopped these fantasiesfrom running in my head You
Tell her that you can't promise that you'll remember her favorite color- but that
you'll remember the experiences you've had together
tell her that you will always remember the butterflies you got whenevr she was around
They ask me what I could never do without
and I am tempted to say a name or a place
But I realize now what I could not survive without
I wish this were reality that love is kindness,
If you knew that I feel the soul fly that your face
and your mouth make me fall in love more and more.
Distances were then that banned me to love you,
I reminisce of weightlessness:
peering down into 10, 20 feet of air.
My delicate days,
I recall,
as a haze
full of branches:
a careful cloud
of offshoots
that, long as I could,
Hello my love
every day I'm losing the essence of your love,
in me I saved the secrets of your love and of yesterday.
Why did you leave? why did you leave me here,
my heart and my mind are coldly petrified,
It has always struck me as odd,
the idea that “loving you” and “losing you”
are only one letter apart.
This small difference is proved
To say I depended on you
would be an understatement.
I was addicted to the way we were.
To say you were my everything
would be an understatement.
I don’t live in the light
I am consumed by darkness
My heart is shattered
My mind is fragmented
What more can I do?
I can’t save myself
The only person who stood with me
Has left…
“I should've smashed it… I should've smashed it…”
A savage smile graced her face in insane glee
Pacing back and forth
Heart racing
Thud-dump...thud-dump...
Trickles of crazed laughter dripped from her lips
I knew I had it bad,
when they asked what I would need
if I was stranded on a island,
and the first thing I thought of,
was your blue eyes instead of water.
Isn't that sad?
Cold as the glaciers that gather around the attic waters
into the eyes of a girl long gone
it hurts on the inside worse than anything
Do you get that feeling?
staring at the night sky
I draw my smile on with ease,
with lipstick as red as your cheeks,
when you read the words
“I like you more than I’d care to admit”
I still think about you every day
I see you in the halls
your hair is a fiery red now
perhaps you've moved on and are flaunting your tenacity
you wore converse today
so did i
And this is just another poem,
One of many,
About you.
Your elusive ways and how you make me wonder
How you can hide your emotions
So well.
Or not have any left at all.
We were never together and you broke my fucking heart.
Our lips never touched
But I can still feel them hovering near mine.
Our relationship was weird, but nothing we couldn’t handle.
Love, What is this thing we call love? Does it even exist? Some say it does, Others will say it doesn't! Do we really have to go through such horrible heartbreaks to find true love? Do we have to make ourselves feel so horrible to find that one pe
We’ve been going at it for so long
Why do we keep doing this?
It starting to hurt to see you
I’m feeling unwanted
Why do you do this?
Daddy what's wrong?
Why aren't you strong?
What's going on?
Daddy I'm crying.
Please don't be dying.
Just keep on trying
Daddy don't be afraid
We'll all come and stay,
Every few years you show up in my life
Whether it be in person or in a distant memory
When I hear someone mention your name
I am transported to the old, abandoned beach
I closed my eyes and I saw you lying next to me
You were so close that I could reach my hand over and caress your sleeping face
The soft breathing held a steady pace as you dreamed
Wet cheeks,
Lonley night,
A heart filled with pain
A mind on the verge of going insane
A smile with sore cheeks
A soul that feels so weak
Eyes that hold back tears
Lips that lie due to fear
"Why do you love me?" I ask.You reply with many reasons,some of which being how When I talk about my favorite book,I always obsess over the characters and my eyes take on a whole new formas big as dinner platesand they sparkle like the fourth of
Well I had that damn dream again.
The one where you come back.
You show up at my house,
dressed to the nines with roses in your hand.
you left me bleeding
you left me crying
you left me screaming
out for you
save me
save me
you left me here
you left me alone
i learned to breathe with you
now my hearts stone
Perhaps she was too good to be real
Left to tempt
But never to materialize.
All good things are temporary,
All but the stars.
Even when the moon disappears
Those twinkling orbs glow on,
It is not the ocean I see in her eyes,
But the radiant Moon,
The contellations that define our galaxy,
And the Sun we endlessly revolve around.
She is infinite,
Lost in herself as I long to be.
He ripped out her heart
And left her lying on the sidewalk
A single tear rolled out her eye
and slowly swam down cheek
She didn't know why
She didn't feel her emotions
being torn apart
Dear First Love,
I was so scared
of messing everything up
that I ruined it all anyway.
You were so good to me,
but I didn’t treat you
the same,
and I missed my chance.
When there are nights
I can’t sleep or
when my mind strolls
and ponders
against the wall,
I want nothing more than
I’m one step closer to becoming moonless. Pupils engulfed oil black seas without her, but not the day her hand warmed a limp soul, and when we first made love on a cold night.
Its been 10 years without,
I don't want to be without,
All the things I've done, Started high school without
But I know you see me, All the things I've done,
With me the whole time,
Sometimes I feel like,
We are on the same page..
Sometimes I'm not so sure,
I try to give rather than take...
It's hard... But will get used to it!!
Wishing for the feelings to be reciproced,
I found his wicked smile so alluring
Black and blue dreaming
Victim of pure deceit
But your love's pristine
Divine empowering
I missed you
Your touch and embrace
She was a strangerI admired her from afarThe most beautiful person I'd ever seenBut too afraid to say a word-She was a new friendAn optimistic person tooWho brought sunshine to my life
Somewhere down the road we took a wrong turnWe became curious of our Cheshire cat smilesand we fell down the rabbit holeWe got lost in each other's world of fantasy and illusions
I've got real boy problems and I can't stand it
Try to keep everyone so I demand it
No one ever stays so I stay angry
The best way to attract the same thing
Those who turn up as new are the old faces
Yeah bitch screw you too...
I hate the word love straight up
So to the bitch who ripped my heart out wassup
Tell me how’d it feel with the other guy?
You promised you wouldn’t leave me
Counting down the days till we met in real life
27th came and all we had were hours left
7 hours felt like months
she looked at him with eyes
so suprised
that his being could hold her whole world
to feel his skin against hers in fear she'd ruin the anatomy of the stars
I'm sorry
I'm sorry that I have ever cursed at you
I'm sorry that I have made you cry
I'm sorry for every black eye you gave me
I'm sorry for every time I said "Please, Stop, No."
A little girl with a neatly tied bonnet eagerly gathers the strawberries.
She rejoices the growing collection in her pail.
Except the little girl is a young woman now.
She was like vanilla and chocolate swirl, she was the best of both worlds.
Beautiful and smart, did her part and played it smart.
Lungs collapsed like buildings in the aftermath of an earthquake
A ripple spreading through bones and veins
The pulsations of a heart reduced to a stutter
A mere flutter
And things are falling
And crashing
If tears are comparable to the sky raining
And supposedly the rainbow comes after the storm
What happens with a sadness not waning?
Does such beauty still appear to a heart so torn?
The light in your eyes when you talked about her could light up the whole world for a million and one years
i am in love
with the memories
of being in love
with good morning texts
and good night lullabies
Here you are
A hole in my heart
Waiting for the gum
To fill up inside
Friendly fire
In the game of hearts
If happiness had a face
It would be yours
If love had a face
It would be the way I look at you
If fate were real
Would we be together?
If the stars aligned
Would they pair us?
It's sad when the perso you care about most
is the same person who rips out your heart
rips it out and just....just...breaks it...
she fooled me into believing
believing she actually cared
I’m the girl with the
Ink stained hands from
So much writing
But you wouldn’t notice because
You’re so far away and you
Only know what I tell you and
You’re oblivious to everything else
Sitting in the comfort of her chair
And listening to the sounds of the breeze
There is no disparity
She can now see things with clarity
You have left her all alone
She is sadly dazed and confused
You don't cross my mind. You live in it.
You occupy my every waking thought and leave room for nothing else.
You tiptoe upon the edges of my dreams and walk just out of reach of my eyesight.
Girl, there is no reason
For you to be there
Haven't you had enough of his abuse
Just remove yourself from bad air
The longer you stay there
Darkness is what you will continue to find
we'd go out in the city
after one of your shows
makeout in the parking lot
of some drug store
you'll write a song about it
and my eyes
and your drugs
and how it makes you feel alive
Remember that Friday night
when we drove my little sister’s
silver Impala to Little Clear Lake
on winding gravel roads
My skin, the cover of my soul’s pages, is soft
leather binding, knitted together
by the Expert Craftsman,
protecting secrets from
Girl, it really is sad
That he left you standing in the cold
He often treated you as if you were nothing
He sadly did not realize that you have a heart of gold
It is a shame
That he treated you that way
Girl, look at the way at how you are being treated
But, you stay by his side
You just let yourself go
As if you do not have any pride
You do everything for him
But yet, there is zero appreciation
Instead ofbeing the onewho hurts,Becomes the onegetting hurt. Embrace, this is me.No.
Consider her gone
Because, she cannot trust you
She gave you everything
But, you never appreciated anything
Her heart was there
She was always sincere
Walking away from you
I've never liked my bed
With you in it it is warm and comforting to feel your skin on mine
My bed makes your absence felt
I'm colder
I am less sure of what space my body should claim
Do not play with a girl's heart
or even worse her heartstrings
because if you are not careful you may mistake her heartstrings as the most beautiful of instruments
and make music resounding in the acoustics of her soul
I use to love dreaming about you
Because it was the one moment I could see you again
So vividly I could feel the butterflys, so realistically your embrace would engulf me
Dreams about our forever, how we could be
Although brown eyes are darker than blue eyesI had never found such madness beforeIn those with more pigment than your own skiesIt was not something that I could ignore
A while ago, my heart broke. It didn’t disappear, it just broke. Now that I look back, I realize that it probably could have been fixed. Back then.
Opposites attract. For some people that’s a beautiful twist, the yin to their yang. But what happens when you’re a person who feels too much? All the emotion, intense and passionate.
I fell in love in three days. In three days, I felt emotion radiating from your eyes as you gazed down into my own, softly cradling the edges of my heart as I foolishly let my guard down.
A tinted red rose grazes my cheeks when I think of the time that you licked your lips after kissing me
when I asked you why, you said you could still taste me.
It was delicately beautiful and disturbing all at the same time,
You always told me I reminded you of red roses
And suddenly I’m nine years old
Dirtying my favorite white dress in a garden I’d sneak out to
Picking petals off of sunflowers
Pull heartstrings while you pull Hamstrings,
Make me feel your presence in it's entirety.
Lungs aren't full enough for you to linger this long, but
I don't care if you don't, and
I am every bit as pathetic as the paper in my mouth.
The paper that will very soon become a topic of discussion among my friends;
Wondering why my hands now smell like anxiety,
He said he wanted a kiss,
so I gave him my love.
He said he wanted that,
so I gave him this
He said he would never ever leave,
yet I'm all alone.
Because he always wanted and I gave more.
If you're happy then i have to be,
Because I left your side to see you be.
If you like it then i love it,
Because i walked away so you could show it.
If you're fine then i'm well,
They say
Fire is a deadly thing
because it can burn you
they say
knives are dangerous
because they can cut you
they say
drugs are bad
because they screw with your head
We passed the field by my house,
Where you used to say sorry;
Words never held meaning for you
Without smoke kissing lips.
I never should have.
I waited too long didn't I honey?
There was a boy that I loved.
The way he looked at me made all of my problems disappear.
The way his lips felt against mine, made time stop around us.
some say that hell is an eternal looping of your most awful memory.
I do not believe that hell is a place.
Hell is my mind.
My mind replays the scene over and over, the same outcome each time.
Where is it?
I've missplaced it once again.
I'm looking for the threads, and the needles and the numbness.
Oh... Nevermind about the numbness.
The trails are getting foggy, I'm lost.
(written 1/25/2015)
there’s always coffee in my veins and
music in my ears because
i can't stand the thought of not having you and
Incantation Red
By: Ashlyn Narvaez
Let the anger leave my body
Cast a spell upon the words
Let the trauma lift above me
Create a haunting with its curse
so sweet
so damn sweet
all loving
cuddle craving
and then romance
and those hot times
you made be feel good about myself
but I don't think you feel good about yourself
I am enticed with the majestic fluidity of your fingertips,
tugging at my strings so that my skirt twirls and billows
around me in a mannerism that only romance could suggest.
And the smell of your cologne entices me
the love song hangs unspoken, there for you
to steal from my lips as you stole my heart.
and now there’s nothing that I would not do:
I’d barter, kill, and for your love I’d starve.
Enticed by her lustful allure
The Casanova had to stare
His next conquest, he was so sure
She’d concur to a night’s affair
She said “You’re broken. I’ve no cure.
No magic treatment down below.”
Once upon a time babe
I was color blinded
Lost what mattered the most to me
But perhaps with you I'll find it
Lost myself in your eyes
Maybe one..two..three..or four times
His kiss was of goldStaining her lips with the markOf innocence lost.
His fingertips leftGilded prints, painted on herLovely face with care.
Polished AdonisThough he was, the sun cannotShine on forever.
Why do you push me away
When all I want to do is help?
Please let me help take care of you,
Since you cannot yourself.
You used to be so kind to me,
Now you won't let me in.
I can't win.
Think of you
Puts me at risk
An avalanche just waiting
Waiting to happen
Let me think
Of stealing a kiss
Something innocent,
Saying goodnight
Maybe a bit more
I love the way you lied to me
With every word spoken you blinded me
And at that moment I believed
That hope was finally there to comfort me
I thought that I would feel so free
They are all carbon copies
Were my polariod kisses too permanent for you?
Too much of a constant reminder
That I helped you grow from darkness
That you cannot delete
Memories of chest on breast because
I press my fingers against a blank screen,
once an image of your face
now dissolving in my memory
tears shatter as it hits the floor.
You wrote your name on my palms
Angel
My Angel,
Stop flying,
Stop searching,
Stop remembering.
What you're flying for,
Isn't worth it.
What you're searching for,
Isn't there.
What you're remembering,