Mental Heath

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I’m in so much pain right now it hurts. I feel like no matter what I do nothing works. I’ve been through a lot last year. I  don’t wanna go through what I went through this year. I’m worried for my future that it really bothers me.
I miss the quiet When my brain wasn't on fire and I was still a person My heart is open so you tie it Cutting of the circulation to every nerve inside of my body  
“Chin up, put a smile on that face.” Well I’m sorry that I don’t feel like smiling today. “Just try to think more positively.”
My life choices are "Selections" that are just "Reflections" of my ADHDs over "Erections", So please educate yourself before our "Disconnection", Your common sense is our self-"Deception", My minds is so unique it needs your "Protection", My mind
I want to kill myself everyday. And that will never change no matter what anyone say. The girl I love will move on like the rest. Life is just a simple test. That I been failing each and every year. My depression push everybody away.
I am a person of survival I've always been my own rival They've always told me what to do Not sure what to do   Lost in a world where I do not belong
To Them, Today I looked at you through a glass dome I watched the tears fall from your cheeks Your eyes creased, cheeks growing red  Your voice cracked in the middle of your sentence
I'm tired of both of you getting me down. All you do is make me sick and leave me feeling empty.  I'm not dealing with this anymore.    I'm growing up both mentally and physically. 
Dear Depression,
*DISCLAIMER + TRIGGER WARNING* *This was written purely by imagination and personal experience, but in no way is this poem about me. This poem also holds a trigger warning so please be safe and careful.*  
Heart sick, a sticky nauseating feeling residing in your chest, cemented goo, the trigger of an urgent need for elimination. Alarming the body that something is amiss, frightening, albeit recognisable.
Sick of distraction and all of its tricks concentration loses the fight again To hone in is to believe in fairy tales the nascar of thoughts  A marathon of thinking
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