about loss. grieving
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the radio static
lashing out above my head
echoes my thoughts, my feelings, my mind right now.
there’s just too much rushing around at once
When I heard my friend Alex had passed away
I sat down and wrote this song to take the pain away
When I heard you were gone I didn’t believe it
My first love Wendell died on October 7, 2017. He died in his sleep. I feel lost, hurt, sad and broken. I didn't think my love would be leaving me so soon. I feel like I down played his sickness even though I knew he was fading away.
A Letter to Grandpa
Grandpa,
How do I say goodbye?
I remember the days spent at your ranch,
They fill me with joy-
and with guilt.
Dear Grandpa,
I have from you a stack of letters.
Nobody else does it better.
Each word written drenched in love,
Creasing me softly like a dove.
These letters mean a lot to me.
Dear dad,
Hey remember me?
It’s me, your princess
It’s been a decade since we last saw each other
How’s it like in Heaven?
You had a hard life
But you kept fighting
Locked up
Dear community,
I too sat on the side of the obelisk
not a person in sight
in a world of ennui
nothing but malign nothingness...
Dear Daddy,
I miss you everyday.
Since you went away.
I wrestle with the thought that I should have done more.
That I should have stayed with you, but I ran and hid in my room.
For Curt.
His eyes were an offset blue,
Identical to the unyielding forces
of the tempestuous sea and the
churning influence of the clouds.
Or were they an unpolished silver,
I don’t understand how the story begins.
Or maybe it doesn’t ‘begin’ maybe we pick up somewhere in the middle.
Today, or maybe it was yesterday I realized that my life is almost over.
However, I have yet to start living.
Friendships don't always last, then again some just might;
People grow apart sometimes through fight or through flight.
You had a spark of something excellent that came from inside;
6 o’clock in the morning, my mom walked in
I knew the words that were going to come out of her mouth
But it still hurt just as much
“Grandma’s in a better place now.”
Heartbreak comes out of nowhere,
But it always comes from somewhere.
My heart hurts, it looks for you,
But you're not even there...
Come back to me, I can't fathom the thought of not having you,
The young steamboat glides through the bright blue waters
His engine is pristine,
His propeller rotates as fast as a hummingbird.
ThSo youne young steamboat has no problem riding the calm waves.
Dear Mom
Let me tell you what's going on,
With our family since you've been gone.
Ben is a firefighter, but has been working as an EMT.Amir finished his PhD.
When you left the earth I thought I was fine because you weren't in pain anymore but little did I know, that was the beginning of my year of pain.
They say it gets easier day by day.
But it has been 854 days since you left,
and each day my heart breaks all over again.
I think of you and a smile appears upon my face,
It's been 148 days
everyday feels like the first without you.
I've realised all I have been is numb
because I won't let anyone or anything in,
They say all good things must come to an end,
but why?
Why can’t I hold on to the good things?
Why can’t I be happy forever?
Falling to the groundThe branches of my family tree
Once we were so strong protected by our leaves
We have survived many stormsOur great roots firmly in the ground
Why do we do the things we do,
why do we care about who is who?
I got my start many years ago,
for expressing my feelings in a poem was the only way to go.
Suffering the loss of my mother,
To those ready to leave, your coats are being washed
It seems something's spilled on them and now you have to stay
At least until I'm finished saying what I need to say
I can't stop--
Moving.
I feel like I'm...
Dead?
If I stop moving,
Rigor mortis...
Will set in.
I will seize up--
And never move again.
I have too...
many...
things...
The wind blows, harsh yet stale.Winter is not new, it is the same every year:it freezes the ground and the sky, it takes life from the trees, the bugs, the squirrels,
So this is how it ended...
Bullets are memories, so you ate one.
How does it feel?
You laid yourself down beneath the soil.
Won’t you wake up?
Nothing can fill the emptiness of a loss.
No tear, sorrow, or sadness
can fill the gaps of time today.
Just don't go.
I know you thought leaving
was the only way
but I miss you every day.
I won't say you were wrong;
I know the pain of this world can make every day too long
Fresh cut grass and a wave of heatsteps walk past me to go find a seat
A stabbing in my chestsalt floods my mouth
tightly pulled fingersand air tries to get out
