Waves crash against the shore,

A storm is on its way.

I cling to my desk in a bitter hope

That it will all pass over me.

But as they walk by,

Their lightning strikes—

Cold, hard stares

And striking remarks

That singe my skin

And fester inside of me,

Wounds uncared for.

I do not belong here, and never have.

From day one of freshman year

The new girl didn’t quite fit in.

My clothes are different

And I believe in absolute kindness.

That must be a foreign theory here.

The sirens sound, but it’s too late to run.

I’m caught, I must ride this storm

Just like every other time.

It is only Tuesday,

A bitterly cold November day

That keeps my heart from thawing

After they freeze it with their hatefulness.

It is almost like slow-motion

Once the cyclone begins its destruction.

Chew me up, spit me out

On unfamiliar land, all alone.

In six months, I’ll walk across a big stage

And they’ll end my sentence, hand me

A “get-out-of-jail-free” card.

But the nightmares I collected

In the white-tiled hallways

Will haunt me until I decipher

Whatever riddle it is that could

Free me from the harsh reality

That I never did fit in.

Life after high school

Will be a whole new labyrinth,

A race to find myself

Before my time runs out.

The little girl who watched

Her big sister be seventeen

Had much better expectations

For her own teenage years.

I apologize to her,

And hope she understands

That I did the best I could.