Can't keep a diary

when there's no such thing as privacy

It hurts

Trapped in my body trapped in my head

Who's keeping us together?

Baby boy stops her from shattering

Leaving me to keep the floor from falling

 

Nobody cares about the kids who tuck themselves in

Forgot to eat again.

What time is it again?

Can't eat, can't think, can't think a choernt thought

Too busy writing and escaping

The restrint keeping me encased

imprisoned in my own flesh

 

Can't survive the emotion that consumes

(maybe they were right to call me psycho)

It just won't end. This state of panic that I'm always in

Say I wanna die, but just don't wanna try

to keep living in a life that has never been mine

Trying to have the childhood

I didn't feel like I deserved

 

Won't anybody think of the children?

throwing away joyous peace and laughter

because you were too concerned about the things that don't matter

Judgmental attitude programmed into your damn mind

Just live you own damn life

and keep your little white lies.

Stomach aches and fevers.

 

Just leave me alone

To rot in my own

private misery

Over sensitve to the sensory

I wish I was deprived

I can't fall apart when I'm too bust picking up the pieces

of everybody's broken mind

 

Not so suicdial

Can't even be homicidal

Staying trapped in my constant state of panic

and private misery

Until the fianl curtain call

of your optimsitic mentality

That you read on the back of your

self help book

 

When will you realize

I'm too broken

missing too many puzzle pieces

to be put back together

Freak playing human

hurts. hurts. hurt.

Just want it to stop. Just want to sit in silence

and drift away into nothing

Not ignore the problem, just not have the problem

 

But there's no such thing as privacy

Leave me

alone

leave this life behind

Try again tomrrow

God I wanna scream

Wish I remebered how to cry