If I could

I would

Go back in time

When we first met

I would look at you

With different eyes

I would thank you

While we sat at a table

Alone

In front of the school library

The day you called me beautiful

The day I felt ugly

I would go back in time

and Stop myself from leaving you

From hurting you

and Calling you names

I would go back to yesterday

When I let my anger consume me

and Stop myself,

From letting you go

What i would do instead

Is let you love me

I wouln't stop letting you love me

and I would openly tell you

that I LOVE YOU.

I was afraid of being loved,

you see.

and I'm sorry for continuously hurting you.

PLEASE,

Grab me once more

Tell me you love me

Hello?

Are you there?

...

I dont deserve you anymore

I deserve this pain

Forgive me

Yet, how could you?

I can't even forgive myself

I feel rotten inside

I am so ugly

I am so alone

AGAIN.

I will never be loved

AGAIN.

If I could 

I would

Go back in time

I would go back to that parking lot

The day you cried 

and I would tell you once more

that I LOVE YOU.

I would promise to fight for our love

I would promise to run no more

I would stand by your side

and I would let you love me

But you are gone

Slipped between my fingertips

Because of my bitter anger

Deep inside my soul

It's sad you will never read this,

because you deserve someone better

But,

If i could,

i would.

Go back in time.

I would be a better person 

I would be flawless,

sinless

and lovable

But if i could

really go back in time

I would hug you one last time

Because you are the only one I have loved

and The only one who wanted to love me

But

if i could go back in time

I wouldn't change a thing.

But if could

just once

I would just whisper to myself;

"Let Him Love You"

"He's NOT like our father"

"He wont HURT you"

"Put down those WALLS"

"He WANTS to love you"

"Why are you so BLIND?!"

I realized today

That I have made many mistakes.

Yet he forgave me each time.

But today he had not.

Because i ran TOO far

...

I Love You,

...

I lOvE yOu

...

i LoVe YoU

...

and I will never stop

Because for those nine months

You have always been there.

Yet, i feel

I will never be loved again.