Why?

Why am I afraid to speak?

Why am I afraid to prove I've excelled,

Out of misguided fear that I'll appear single-celled?

Success is what happens when you reach your peak,

So why then, teacher, am I scared to speak?

Doctors say anxiety, depression, and more,

All I know is I wind up catatonic on the floor.

Overcome by stress and pressure and it all,

Knowing the fate that would follow my fall.

College is no option. It's a path I must take...

So society's said it's for my own sake.

But what about later? What about when

I'm deeply in debt and tired as sin?

I never knew I'd struggle in academics this way

I'm smart, I'm special, is what they always say.

I was raised to believe so before there was ever a peek

Of the girl who would grow up to be terrified to speak.

Mistakes are a part of life, sure, that's true.

But why are my failings so disappointing to you?