They expect me to stand here in silence to find worth in how they deprived me of who I truly was . how my only purpose was to fertilize their selfishness as they made identity out of my selflessness ; I stood here in their silence for forgotten how to speak without modesty. I lost myself as they found themselves a will to breathe. I wrote my name underneath their callousness and they wrote my underneath their infancy. I saw him in the light of desperation. And I rested in his darkness of innocence. Years passed and I still never recovered. I want to forget everyone but I remember in the end no one will be there. Peace will rain down on my flesh reminding me I could never be numb. How there's time where its better too feel than to be apart of the coldness that makes this race what we are. When the warmth we craved rings throughout our ignorance as hell. I never thought I'd ever love myself. I've hated myself for so long loving myself seemed like a death wish . I've flirted with the enemy and saw my reflection in the water they demeaned as impure. I've never felt so alone in the world I'd had no voice in . as I try to recollect myself in back at the place I've always feared. Time never seemed to lend mercy but always gave me hope. It fed into my agony but all they saw was starvation. There's nothing for us here. Our tears are seen as weakness as their charade is the only sovereignty we seem to have. There's nothing left. But we can't leave. Because we belonged in our own misery. Our tragedies told us who to be and how sincerity is our only protection from them. Victims to the truth and slaves to our own society. We can't catch to breathe without them knowing it could be our last. I've seen it all before. How everything felt to be so pure just to be brought down by a few moments of reality. How we rather be the shadows of someone else's euphoria than try to be apart of my owns . When praying seems more compulsory than being apart of of those we said were not defiled. When I'm becoming the abuse they gave me . I don't know what else entail . its the only way I've felt meaning. Without it I'm becoming one with the neglected.