Codependency
detached from myself I need
another to fill me
still alone but useful
still alone but in the center
each action has a reaction
giving each move a purpose
a reason
a care
other is important
body is not
body is
uncomfortable
too hard to be in myself
too scary I presume
a body that only provided torment
so why be in it?
I want to be the fuel of another
the touch is the gift
the validation is the goal
the codependency is...
It is all like a vessel almost
or service
without it I whither
or drown
Whichever it is I cannot handle it much
and it hurts to be with myself
never went a full day
without leaving myself
Almost feels like codependency is my disease
a sickness
illness
coping
I want it but
I don't
but I do
but I know I shouldn't
someone to look at me and feel full
because I feel oh so empty
to get something from me
that I cannot get from myself
In a weird middle-ground where
boundaries exist
but love does not
for my withering vessel
In reality it does not whither
it fights
but inner core just hurts and
fighting hurts
Rather fight for others than
for me
it wounds me and codependency
puts a rainbow Band-Aid on it
but the wound is still there
and it scars
Comments
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Annette M Velasquez
YES! This is so eloquently expressed, honest and authentic. The emotional element, and descriptions are accurate, raw and straightforward. Please look up my poem: Co-dependency, Overcoming it is under my name and list of poems on this site... I think you'll like it. Remember, codependency is like an addiction, difficult and painful- but there is healing, change, help and a better way!