Codependency

Fri, 05/22/2020 - 23:36 -- he.re

detached from myself I need

another to fill me

still alone but useful

still alone but in the center

 

each action has a reaction

giving each move a purpose

a reason

a care

 

other is important

body is not

body is 

uncomfortable

 

too hard to be in myself

too scary I presume

a body that only provided torment

so why be in it?

 

I want to be the fuel of another

the touch is the gift

the validation is the goal

the codependency is... 

 

It is all like a vessel almost

or service

without it I whither

or drown

 

Whichever it is I cannot handle it much

and it hurts to be with myself

never went a full day

without leaving myself

 

Almost feels like codependency is my disease

a sickness

illness

coping

 

I want it but

I don't

but I do

but I know I shouldn't

 

someone to look at me and feel full

because I feel oh so empty

to get something from me

that I cannot get from myself

 

In a weird middle-ground where

boundaries exist

but love does not

for my withering vessel

 

In reality it does not whither

it fights

but inner core just hurts and

fighting hurts

 

Rather fight for others than

for me

it wounds me and codependency

puts a rainbow Band-Aid on it

 

but the wound is still there

and it scars

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Annette M Velasquez

YES! This is so eloquently expressed, honest and authentic. The emotional element, and descriptions are accurate, raw and straightforward. Please look up my poem: Co-dependency, Overcoming it is under my name and list of poems on this site... I think you'll like it. Remember, codependency is like an addiction, difficult and painful- but there is healing, change, help and a better way!

he.re

Thank you so much for your comment! I will look at your poem

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