trauma

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If people only knew the pain I carried Or even the thoughts I hold I feel as if I should be buried I hate how it was never foretold I thought I was invincible. But he ended up destroying me.
Rain. I like the rain. I like the smell of rain. I like the slight mist across my face when it lands on the ground. But I don't like getting wet. I want it to stop raining.  I want to be dry.
Collecting Stones The chills to my bones.Mixed messages and firm tones.A heart that aches and moans.Overlooking blessings and the factthat I am a backbone. The lessons that are unknown.Throwing away a diamondlusting after stones.When am I gone you
Trauma layer cakeCrack your teeth and give you A stomachacheBefore your shift at the Holiday InnBeading customer complaints out your skin  
I was bred into chaos and catastrophe Torn down by hands that were meant to raise me Can't face the truth so they turned their backs perpetually Lest I remind them that they should feel guilty
Roses aren’t always red. Violets aren’t strictly blue. Not every glimmer’s surely gold- You’ll never really know the truth!  
Rot
When you grow up like I did, you will scavenge for love like you’ll starve without the scraps.    You’ll carve mold off the edges and ignore the bitter taste between your teeth.  
I am a living memorial of the people whom I came from I am a living memorial of my great-grandfather from my failing legs I am a living memorial of the goodest boy from my wrist
To me you’re the sun. Now I know that sounds fun. But it’s not in the way that you’d think. Like waking up to your rays, With them blinding my gaze,
The first thing I remember loving was my cat- My first best friend. And my baby brother, And dinosaurs. - I loved my stuffed animals, And worms on the sidewalk. I loved the people in movies,
My father does not care About how I feel I'm his Pillsbury doughboy To do with as he will   And if I resist I will be placed in a headlock Because he should be able to do he wants
This body that no longer feels safe With a heart that carries great ache Your dirty hands make me sick The thought makes me shake This body no longer feels mine My body dirty and disgusting
Running running running and running my mind is always running. Yet I stand almost still. Tap tap tap my foot won't stop tapping against the floor. What was my last thought? Where am I?
     He don't trust and run with guns  swears to me, he can't be loved hurt inside from not having anyone riding around with music loud to block the voices in his head      Momma left and daddy did too
We need peace and flowers, not bombs taking lives at all hours. Fleeing the deadly shower. The atmosphere has turned sour.   There should be love,not hate. Darkness should not decide our fate.
Yes this is really me, really us And I still have the graphic tees And the white tube socks And all the other things we never wear anymore All the other things that collect dust in the closet
Don't make us become displaced. Never make us feel misplaced. that would be a disgrace. Trauma and tragedy, no one should have to face.   Fun games ,not war. Say no to gore.
the day he thought I didn't know that was the day I died the day I didn't let it show that was the day I died   he thought he could put hands on me he thought no one would ever see
There is a God And I know damn well because it keeps screwing me over and over. There is a God That keeps fucking my life up, I never gave it my consent. There is a wall, It keeps me from going forward.
I'm Rapunzel and I've just cut my hair off. It meant freedom at the beginning, But now I can see I'm still trapped. How am I supposed to get down now? Hayley Williams said "burry the castle",
Érase un ser vagando sin rumbo Con una mochila a sus espaldas Para recorrer el mundo. Érase una mochila cargada De chuchillas, piedras y recuerdos Pesados, pesadas y oxidadas.
[NOTE: I'm a non-binary person, my pronouns are they/them. At the beggining of the poem, I talk about the period of time I considered myself a girl. When I start speaking in first personand I talk about "they" I'm talking about myself.
Title : [Redacted] Date : 6/2/21
Me
I have never been one that was actually able to say that I love who I am, I would always allow people to treat me like crap, and I always pretended that I didn't give a damn.
Never to bed, early to rise Adds to the rings beneath my eye The gray and purple, these colors shine through You'd call them your favorites if you had them too No rest for the wicked's what I always said
I used to always be told that I was beyond lucky that I was raised in this religious home
I used to always be told that I was beyond lucky that I was raised in this religious home
I think I always knew I was a little bit messed up in the head,   See with me being so quiet and all as a child   They’d look me in the eye  
What were you wearing is a dead question. It leads to no solution. should I tell you my frumpy pants hanging on my frame were illicit? That a shirt she bought a Mormon girl was too revealing, her body too explicit?
Sometimes I can't help but fantasize About finding myself in the dark with you again But not the way it was - In my mind, I'm anything but afraid - Like practice, I strategize
day clothes, hair tie, my father's baby ring Strip me clean, strip my skin. Strip it like sheets on the bed. It is Dirty, it is Predatory, it is a Liar   My body is a criminal, and it does not-
Sometimes The most painful reckoning Is to stare in the eyes of the sinner And watch them smile and pretend As if they've never burned you 
Begging with your strong fingertips You grasped into my vacant soul For dear life Your eyes screamed for my body A stare so heavily It burnt the clothes off my body Reckless, you left my heart
Rare times, I think of you Time goes by. Less I long to see you Days turned into months Months turned into years No longer do I shed tears You seem to be okay. I am okay too.
Oh my God it's finally happening What I've always wanted for what feels like forever And with YOU no less My first real male crush And aren't you beautiful? Colombian, beautiful sleek, soft black hair
He is the sun That Lights the way To a peace I have been Neglected from the truth was always tangled in lies The only proof was The look in your eyes
How do I believe that or whole relationship was fake? An act to get close to me, never give, only take. I’ve done the research, such much sounds shockingly familiar. Words described you to a tee, seems clear, yet unclear.
I enjoy reading poems, They beget a sense of serenity. They put a heart alarmed at ease, Wrap in a fabric of peace and tranquillity.   Read the poems aloud, Savour your breath.
You can never really tell when a girl has been through trauma. And she'll hardly ever bring it up for fear of sounding like a melodrama. But I believe it's good to share, it could help others with the strain.
detached from myself I need another to fill me still alone but useful still alone but in the center   each action has a reaction giving each move a purpose a reason a care  
Sometimes I wonder if I’m real If I really exist or if I’m just told that I do I can not prove to you that I exist Nor can you prove to me that you do. Is reality a conscious effort Or perhaps it simply is?
How many girls are thinking what i'm thinking right now? This kind of crazy makes me want to start drinking. on and off again Confusing me, making me think i'm in love   
 I never said stop, but I never said go.Now people at school call me a hoe.What was I supposed to do?
Small delicate fragile bodies that drip from the tip of the tongue Of the dog who lays underneath the Miles of death and decay- who gently Lays them in their graves.
For oh, so long I have known this- that the spell had been cast and for years I have sought remedies through priests and preachers, curanderas, -all to no avail... And I have learned
Before the " unthinkable" I was still naive or was it merely innocent? and the " unthinkable" was but a shadowy realm .. And then " it" happened like a shattering of soap bubbles-
I too, have played the fool just like the lyrics of the popular song... Yes, fool also known as trickster- that common character subject of myth and legend
Through time seeking, ever learning after all these years I've finally found it- affirmation "voice." Spurred by, guided by, others I now know that this
You don’t have to talk, You don’t have to talk. You don’t have to be heard right now. They don’t need to hear it right now.
The demonic souls cut your self-worth for a game To you it was all second nature but the shame With the understanding that they were better It was all fun and games in that camp letter
I don't want to carry this with me anymore - I want my body to die and take this trauma with it - Bury us in a shallow grave to rot away, Until mold and insects and scavengers
The laugh, the voice My mind can't place it So familiar, yet so far away Two strangers lie intertwined Bodies bare and warm Like a small pool of summer amidst the winter storm Carefree and open...
Some days are nothing but black Fighting a battle in endless fog Seeing nothing, hearing only pitiful static   Some days are nothing but black Nights bring emptiness, fading wordlessly to fog
Head under water Held in place, trapped I'm losing my breath Held in place, trapped Still, you keep me there Held in place, trapped It is all my fault Held in place, trapped
How when your life starts to spin out of control You barely notice          How you can never really pin point the moment When things got out of hand Or you choose not to
Why do I write poetry Why am I always so sad I tried to write a happy poem once My sister said it sounded like a goodbye
Write yourself into history  Dance your way into the life that crashes into the unseen shores of millions.  Walk a mile in the sand in my shoes  Tell me history doesn’t deserve to know Speak the truth 
  Smile smile stay  Smile smile go Smile in denial  Crooked teeth crooked cops  Crooked world crooked rocks  Chipped teeth broken teeth  Challenge accepted smiles unprotected 
A knock on the door and I let you in  All that started it was a spark, there was oxygen of course The fire started in the place that fires do  The fire place is where it started in the first place
     barely a woman at all, at 14 i began a search for love. to prove to myself that  i could be loved. i began a search for a feeling. to feel anything.
Fooled you, fooled you Maybe even you Congrats if not you Lair, liar My mouth was on fire Telling puzzles no one could ever
You know what they say and you’ve heard what they’ve said Go seize the day Don’t stay home in bed   But my head is too heavy And each move is a battle My bones are not ready
I wish you would just hit me But you got inside my bones and split me from the inside. I hate that I’m that girl who writes poetry about a boy to feel human again. But you’re not a boy,
    She’s like my first child you know  I carry her weight on my shoulders  But she’s not a kid anymore  Man she’s getting older 
silent   wont talk she just nods scared to speak up she wants to be heard but knows nobodys ever truly listening she tries to trust  but shes struggling
There are so many things I find I'm forced to remember. Sloppy drawings of sleepy Buddha in the back of a rotting notebook. Cake crossing my eager ears, as I jam my hip beneath the stair-rail,
What drugs made you think of me, My helpful little helper bee? The pollination of disease, Upon your naked worm I feed,   I wish that I could free your soul, My whirly, girly, rolly-poll,
I lie in bed every night, The guilt seeps into my dreams,   Someday they'll catch you, And I'll be waiting, Gripping smoldering justice, Like a loaded gun.   I'm eternally conflicted,
As she laid  warm as can be  she heard a creek  near her cheek  unbothered she remained  but fate would have a say  as the abhorrent man  touched her   the dissemination 
I have never doubted the ability of a womans rage, and the floppy arc of a chosen mans black leather belt marring my skin with the days when I was ​bad, but you were good 
I have imagined his return More times than I have missed him More times than I can breathe More times than my heart has beat   I can’t inhale the idea
Common Pain   The young woman traumatized The events that guided taught her lessons about life Rich in memories and lessons, while others are broke
Bleeding, crying and hiding. Scared of the train that went past your house at exactly midnight, but really just scared of everything. You were supposed to run wild and build blanket forts.
It is two am- the limbo between morning and night- and I have to be up in 5 hours max. Can't sleep. All I can think about is time travel 'cause I just watched a movie where they played with time
A tremble Flick of the wrist and it is hidden Deep seeded fear Cropping up as a crippled beast Broken child Shaking slightly, hurt Though it's been so long since the pain
Anxiety stirs my stomach like a lost ship at sea.  I have no control  which way the wind is blowing. I'm alone.   You were mean it was kind. 
they say its normal for a teenage girl to feel not at home in her body it’s a great change in scenery
I never knew how to count before youThe day I met you you told me I didn't need to listen
My body is a temple. You’re not invited in. You’ve left me empty and broken, all from within.   My body is my home. My safe zone.
    no one   saw  what you   did except           the crickets    in the        garden     who            chirped a       melody
You don’t know how you plucked my heart like a rose and it skipped a beat as you                   whispered the sweetness of sonnets.
To forget would be a blessing, to remember, a curse. Remember how he held my shoulders down  covered my screams with a sweaty palm, ripping  all pride from my body. I felt rage as he plunged through my body, 
A gnashing cruelty and an unfading whine like A VCR spilled over with vase-water, Keeps the shadowed part of me Beating; It is not a reflection of the Upbringing that
My hands are like knives And my flesh the meat   I carve my body Aching in defeat   Again and again Each slice is a blow   To the touch is a rush I still wish to not know
They say that lightning never strikes in the same place twice, But he’s always been a man of repetition. The bruises on my neck have turned yellow and black
bodily betrayal my fault still inside me years after the assault complicated nonconsent complicated discontent wasn’t drugged
I’ve heard of guys like you my entire life The type to dumpster dive Instead of revive There were times I wished I’d died If I died, you would’ve taken everything Including my voice  
Anxiety Lonliness On gaurd all the time Prayers Exhaustion Craziness Incoherent cries All cares taken away
I'm fine.       I do it all: clubs, sports, school.       Everyone loves me. I am not afraid.       I no longer panic at archery meetings.       Don't feel fear when I see your name.
1. Your eyes look like the ocean, Full of wonder and mystery, And inviting me in, I had to take a swim.   2. Your veins ran like rivers down your forearms,
I still eat peanut butter as if it fulfills all the categories in  the nutritional pyramid. It can be found in the cupboards of each place  I hang up my jacket and step in. What’s convenient about 
You lay on your floor wating waiting waiting for your phone to charge It's dark she's asleep at the foot of the bed be quiet I hang my hands over the edge of the bed our fingers graze
Dear Trauma, my constant companion, We got together ten years ago it's hard to forget. You help me, remind me to be careful. Not to trust men who smile so kindly. If I have you with me
she tried to walk near lampposts   believing that the light will protect her from being a prey her glasses reflecting the light creating shadows and within her mind
Abigail SullivanPart 1: A Letter to Cerebral Ameloid Angiopathy. Out of nowhere, you chose my dad as a potential victim to interrogate.
Keep searching for the lyrics of a broken heart But no words can really express the pain that I feel No one will ever understand the life I have lived So I am left here to write this myself.  
There's something twisted and dark in me.                                                                                                      I tried to pull it out                                                                                 
  The sunrays are beaming down, brightly illuminating the sky. Sand keeps wiggling its way in between my toes The waves keep swooshing and swishing 
i. he carved his name into my bones with claws under which my flesh festered. no matter how long i leave my bones to rot,
He is a monster.His mouth widens to reveal three rows of teeth, and he is covered with blood.My blood.Even though he is hidden in the shadows, his pale skin shines through,Blinding me.When he walks into the light, his demon black eyes shift into a
dear past, present, and future self, you fall in love at thirteen it is may and you are sick again delicate and easy prey you are but you pray
The first time you found me, I was a little girl. You told me I could trust you and then you turned around and ruined me.  
i was 17 the last i spoke with my father. he came home that tuesday night smelling toxic, with the world giving away beneath his feet. bloodshot pinball eyes, carrying 1000 unconfessed sins and
Time is a  soft and gentle mother,  who puts a steady hand on the small of your broken back and whispers, "It's time to move on, sweetheart," and for once, you can actually listen.
To you, I gave the world, Yet to I, you saw no such need. Under the worst of circumstances, we met, I, being a mess bent on self-destruction, and you, a loner. To you, I gave you my world,
To you, I gave the world, Yet to I, you saw no such need. Under the worst of circumstances, we met, I, being a mess bent on self-destruction, and you, a loner. To you, I gave you my world,
She was the child who shyed away from touch. The child who hated eye contact. She was a kid who'd perfected the art of   making excuses for school absences    and dodging questions.
here's to you, you knees on the ground, yes please, no thank you, wide eyed dreameryou thin-lipped, ruby-throated optimist, you girl in a dress that doesn't sit quite right on a staircase that feels too big
Being myself is so hard sometimes. I am a muslim woman. I am also a vietnamese woman. I am a bisexual Vietnamese muslim woman. I am part of the first generation in my family born outside of Vietnam.
Him
Him Twisted, violent Charming, sickening, terrifying The reason I can't sleep anymore Mort
as the woman who brought me into this world lay still in the bath tub , she moved, arms suspended in the water, ears just above the line.
I saw you, Once in a dream, twice with a scream. You stood there watching, Praying. Waiting. I was there playing, Singing, hoping. Like fairies on a flower, We danced on short legs,
Where do I run And where do I hide? Where do I go So I don’t have to fight?   They tell me I’m wrong But I’m so scared. They tell me to face it, But I am fear.  
Why Why was Life so hard?   Why was it so bleak?   How come Life was overjoyed   As it preyed upon the weak?       How did Satan reach us?  
I just wanted to write and say, In case you ever wonder or are filled with regret  or In case your heart decides
Stop. Stop staring at my chiseled, perfect body Like my blank, senseless face Does not exist.   Look, Deep within my black eyes, There is life And death  Like ying and yang.
Hello! I am new to this and this is my first poem. The grammar isn't perfect and I'm not sure if this was the best way to set it out but please give me feedback on what you think :-)    
watching the rain fall makes me vulnerable every emotion i've ever felt pours out of me you all of my emotions lead  back to you joy desolation envy lust all at once
Children of God in the youth psych ward walking like the dead lights in the windows too high to reach black pits in your stomach where you swear your Soul used to be
It was a happy place rainbows sunshine colors toys But now, it's far less -  It's a place filled with formailties, correctiveness, commas... And this was the breaking point.
You are the black hole of my being— your cold, gnarled fingers squeeze and twist and yank at me from the inside, desperate to come out and shade me with your wretchedness. You are enigmatic; I have never
my dog lani had a hernia on her stomach she spent a lot of time crying now she spends her time wreaking havoc on our brand new carpet--and it's my dad who's crying   my dog lani
Jumping from rock to rock,Mama said I’d “lose my head”.Apparently writing wasn’t enough, then.I was young.
This dream, it's haunting me a horrible picture where you die. For whatever reason I can't shake it from my mind flashbacks, leading to panic attacks all because of that tragic night.  
There are no tears in her eyes as she plays with her toys. Her father and grandmother are holding onto each other's hands, Sometimes stealing glances at the young girl.  
I'm alone and can't sleepThere's no one here but meI'm stuck with all these memoriesIf they could only see
Click on the link and press play. Any feedback is appreciated :) http://sessionsla.bandcamp.com/track/airway
He caressed her and touched her This wasn’t right
There, a bloody knife in his handThere, he went from boy to manCrying, tears from the eyes in his headTraumatized from the blood he had shedHow his youth had gone so quickly
Food, drugs, sex, booze, work,
Life scarred by trauma,
Let's pretend
There are some things I cannot say with words So rather than write a poem I'll pick up another face Except this time, When I sew it on I'll leave a corner unstitched.  
Timing freezes, muscles tense, lungs start gasping for every breath The room starts spinning, the edges blur, hearts is running, running from death
My dreams are most vivid when I bolt Awake staring at the ceiling where the stucco shoots Constellations to my brain, just a telescope that won’t retract Or react to the basic instincts meant to drive
There is this curtain that covers me
We are connected not by choice but by some unbreakable law that forces me to carry you.
I was twiddling a penny between my fingers, My mind lost as I stared at the copper coin. "Do you think of him now?"
Shifting eyes, tight throat, hiding my face as I watch the class make fun of a girl for sharing her issues     about PTSD
The tears fall from her faceLike a river that never endsThe pain that she feelsClawing its way throughThey laugh and jokeNot seeing what it's doingTearing the hole bigger
They say that when you experience something traumatic your mind can block it out to protect you. What if all of those missing memories  from my childhood,  and teenage years,
There is something wrong with my insides They are too still, too silent The wind blows and my brain tries to compensate so it has become my skin, my shield it complains jesus it's cold
There is something wrong with my insides They are too still, too silent The wind blows and my brain tries to compensate so it has become my skin, my shield it complains jesus it's cold
The room goes blank.
Her condition is that she is a walking contradiction, for she is a soul burning with hot fire and coals born into the coldest winter ever.   She’s living in hell amongst demons yet some say she looks heavenly.  
When I was young My Daddy read me stories as I drifted to sleep And I watched in awe as the peaceful melody of words evolved into symphonic wonder; a castle, a wish, a hope shone in my Daddy’s eyes.  
  There are no rules to the fight I fight. There are some things the battle seems to want me to know. Trust no one, not even yourself. When people say they are there - don't ask for their help.
For too long, anxiety and depression have been the rulers of my life.             A ruthless king and his queen, with faces of iron and eyes of flame. Trauma is the groom, waiting for PTSD, his soon-to-be wife.
You spent your early days in silence. watching from the sidelines but never really participating. they threw those cruel words at you through whispers behind your back. with your small ears you caught them
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