trauma
Learn more about other poetry terms
Enter Mental Patient as he speaks with Therapist
concerning his discharge from the hospital.
Therapist: And how have you been on this
particular day?
Mental Patient: The usual.
Kissing a body
That you've dismembered
With the hacksaw of lust
Pouring yourself
A cup of blood
And drink it like an
Intoxicating fine wine
With the cup of a glorified king
How could you possibly do this?
All the ways you’ve brought me pain,
I know I can turn the blows to a near miss—
All the while going limp like a dropped chain.
Don’t you see you’re scarring me?
Rico’s Way
See I knew from the start that you weren’t worthy of my heart,
still I held you up and never set you apart.
She didn't see herself the way others saw her.
They saw beauty. Bright eyes. Red lips. And a white smile.
Lies that hurt, Tears that flow
A make-up disguise, with bloodshot eyes
She’ll fake a laugh, and put on a smile
If people only knew the pain I carried
Or even the thoughts I hold
I feel as if I should be buried
I hate how it was never foretold
I thought I was invincible.
But he ended up destroying me.
Rain.
I like the rain.
I like the smell of rain.
I like the slight mist across my face when it lands on the ground.
But I don't like getting wet.
I want it to stop raining.
I want to be dry.
Collecting Stones The chills to my bones.Mixed messages and firm tones.A heart that aches and moans.Overlooking blessings and the factthat I am a backbone. The lessons that are unknown.Throwing away a diamondlusting after stones.When am I gone you
Trauma layer cakeCrack your teeth and give you A stomachacheBefore your shift at the Holiday InnBeading customer complaints out your skin
I was bred into chaos and catastrophe
Torn down by hands that were meant to raise me
Can't face the truth so they turned their backs perpetually
Lest I remind them that they should feel guilty
Roses aren’t always red.
Violets aren’t strictly blue.
Not every glimmer’s surely gold-
You’ll never really know the truth!
When you grow up like I did, you will scavenge for love like you’ll starve without the scraps.
You’ll carve mold off the edges and ignore the bitter taste between your teeth.
I am a living memorial of the people whom I came from
I am a living memorial of my great-grandfather from my failing legs
I am a living memorial of the goodest boy from my wrist
To me you’re the sun.
Now I know that sounds fun.
But it’s not in the way that you’d think.
Like waking up to your rays,
With them blinding my gaze,
The first thing I remember loving was my cat-
My first best friend.
And my baby brother,
And dinosaurs.
-
I loved my stuffed animals,
And worms on the sidewalk.
I loved the people in movies,
My father does not care
About how I feel
I'm his Pillsbury doughboy
To do with as he will
And if I resist
I will be placed in a headlock
Because he should be able to do he wants
This body that no longer feels safe
With a heart that carries great ache
Your dirty hands make me sick
The thought makes me shake
This body no longer feels mine
My body dirty and disgusting
Running running running and running
my mind is always running.
Yet I stand almost still.
Tap tap tap
my foot won't stop tapping against the floor.
What was my last thought?
Where am I?
He don't trust and run with guns
swears to me, he can't be loved
hurt inside from not having anyone
riding around with music loud
to block the voices in his head
Momma left and daddy did too
We need peace and flowers,
not bombs taking lives at all hours.
Fleeing the deadly shower.
The atmosphere has turned sour.
There should be love,not hate.
Darkness should not decide our fate.
Yes this is really me, really us
And I still have the graphic tees
And the white tube socks
And all the other things we never wear anymore
All the other things that collect dust in the closet
Don't make us become displaced.
Never make us feel misplaced.
that would be a disgrace.
Trauma and tragedy,
no one should have to face.
Fun games ,not war.
Say no to gore.
the day he thought I didn't know
that was the day I died
the day I didn't let it show
that was the day I died
he thought he could put hands on me
he thought no one would ever see
There is a God
And I know damn well because it keeps screwing me over and over.
There is a God
That keeps fucking my life up,
I never gave it my consent.
There is a wall,
It keeps me from going forward.
I'm Rapunzel and I've just cut my hair off.
It meant freedom at the beginning,
But now I can see
I'm still trapped.
How am I supposed to get down now?
Hayley Williams said "burry the castle",
Érase un ser vagando sin rumbo
Con una mochila a sus espaldas
Para recorrer el mundo.
Érase una mochila cargada
De chuchillas, piedras y recuerdos
Pesados, pesadas y oxidadas.
[NOTE: I'm a non-binary person, my pronouns are they/them. At the beggining of the poem, I talk about the period of time I considered myself a girl. When I start speaking in first personand I talk about "they" I'm talking about myself.
I have never been one that was actually able to say that I love who I am,
I would always allow people to treat me like crap, and I always pretended that I didn't give a damn.
Never to bed, early to rise
Adds to the rings beneath my eye
The gray and purple, these colors shine through
You'd call them your favorites if you had them too
No rest for the wicked's what I always said
I think I always knew I was a little bit messed up in the head,
See with me being so quiet and all as a child
They’d look me in the eye
What were you wearing is a dead question. It leads to no solution.
should I tell you my frumpy pants hanging on my frame were illicit? That
a shirt she bought a Mormon girl was too revealing, her body too explicit?
Sometimes I can't help but fantasize
About finding myself in the dark with you again
But not the way it was
-
In my mind, I'm anything but afraid
-
Like practice, I strategize
day clothes, hair tie, my father's baby ring
Strip me clean, strip my skin.
Strip it like sheets on the bed.
It is Dirty, it is Predatory, it is a Liar
My body is a criminal, and it does not-
Sometimes
The most painful reckoning
Is to stare in the eyes of the sinner
And watch them smile and pretend
As if they've never burned you
Begging with your strong fingertips
You grasped into my vacant soul
For dear life
Your eyes screamed for my body
A stare so heavily
It burnt the clothes off my body
Reckless, you left my heart
Rare times, I think of you
Time goes by.
Less I long to see you
Days turned into months
Months turned into years
No longer do I shed tears
You seem to be okay.
I am okay too.
Oh my God it's finally happening
What I've always wanted for what feels like forever
And with YOU no less
My first real male crush
And aren't you beautiful?
Colombian, beautiful sleek, soft black hair
He is the sun
That Lights the way
To a peace
I have been
Neglected from
the truth
was always tangled in lies
The only proof was
The look in your eyes
How do I believe that or whole relationship was fake?
An act to get close to me, never give, only take.
I’ve done the research, such much sounds shockingly familiar.
Words described you to a tee, seems clear, yet unclear.
I enjoy reading poems,
They beget a sense of serenity.
They put a heart alarmed at ease,
Wrap in a fabric of peace and tranquillity.
Read the poems aloud,
Savour your breath.
You can never really tell when a girl has been through trauma.
And she'll hardly ever bring it up for fear of sounding like a melodrama.
But I believe it's good to share, it could help others with the strain.
detached from myself I need
another to fill me
still alone but useful
still alone but in the center
each action has a reaction
giving each move a purpose
a reason
a care
Sometimes I wonder if I’m real
If I really exist or if I’m just told that I do
I can not prove to you that I exist
Nor can you prove to me that you do.
Is reality a conscious effort
Or perhaps it simply is?
How many girls are thinking what i'm thinking right now?
This kind of crazy makes me want to start drinking.
on and off again
Confusing me, making me think i'm in love
I never said stop, but I never said go.Now people at school call me a hoe.What was I supposed to do?
Small delicate fragile bodies that drip from the tip of the tongue
Of the dog who lays underneath the
Miles of death and decay- who gently
Lays them in their graves.
For oh, so long I have known
this-
that the spell had been
cast
and for years I have sought
remedies
through priests and preachers,
curanderas,
-all to no avail...
And I have learned
Before the " unthinkable"
I was still naive
or was it merely innocent?
and the " unthinkable" was but a shadowy realm ..
And then " it" happened
like a shattering of soap bubbles-
I too,
have played the fool
just like the lyrics
of the popular
song...
Yes,
fool
also known as
trickster-
that common character
subject
of myth and legend
Through time
seeking,
ever learning
after all these years
I've finally found
it-
affirmation
"voice."
Spurred by,
guided by,
others
I now know
that this
You don’t have to talk, You don’t have to talk.
You don’t have to be heard right now.
They don’t need to hear it right now.
The demonic souls cut your self-worth for a game
To you it was all second nature but the shame
With the understanding that they were better
It was all fun and games in that camp letter
I don't want to carry this with me anymore
-
I want my body to die and take this trauma with it
-
Bury us in a shallow grave to rot away,
Until mold and insects and scavengers
The laugh, the voice
My mind can't place it
So familiar, yet so far away
Two strangers lie intertwined
Bodies bare and warm
Like a small pool of summer amidst the winter storm
Carefree and open...
Some days are nothing but black
Fighting a battle in endless fog
Seeing nothing, hearing only pitiful static
Some days are nothing but black
Nights bring emptiness, fading wordlessly to fog
Head under water
Held in place, trapped
I'm losing my breath
Held in place, trapped
Still, you keep me there
Held in place, trapped
It is all my fault
Held in place, trapped
How when your life starts to spin out of control
You barely notice
How you can never really pin point the moment
When things got out of hand
Or you choose not to
Why do I write poetry
Why am I always so sad
I tried to write a happy poem once
My sister said it sounded like a goodbye
Write yourself into history
Dance your way into the life that crashes into the unseen shores of millions.
Walk a mile in the sand in my shoes
Tell me history doesn’t deserve to know
Speak the truth
Smile smile stay
Smile smile go
Smile in denial
Crooked teeth crooked cops
Crooked world crooked rocks
Chipped teeth broken teeth
Challenge accepted smiles unprotected
A knock on the door and I let you in
All that started it was a spark, there was oxygen of course
The fire started in the place that fires do
The fire place is where it started in the first place
barely a woman at all, at 14
i began a search for love. to prove to myself that
i could be loved.
i began a search for a feeling. to feel anything.
Fooled you, fooled you
Maybe even you
Congrats if not you
Lair, liar
My mouth was on fire
Telling puzzles no one could ever
You know what they say
and you’ve heard what they’ve said
Go seize the day
Don’t stay home in bed
But my head is too heavy
And each move is a battle
My bones are not ready
I wish you would just hit me
But you got inside my bones
and split me from the inside.
I hate that I’m that girl
who writes poetry about a boy
to feel human again.
But you’re not a boy,
She’s like my first child you know
I carry her weight on my shoulders
But she’s not a kid anymore
Man she’s getting older
silent
wont talk
she just nods
scared to speak up
she wants to be heard
but knows nobodys ever truly listening
she tries to trust but shes struggling
There are so many things I find I'm forced to remember.
Sloppy drawings of sleepy Buddha in the back of a rotting notebook.
Cake crossing my eager ears, as I jam my hip beneath the stair-rail,
What drugs made you think of me,
My helpful little helper bee?
The pollination of disease,
Upon your naked worm I feed,
I wish that I could free your soul,
My whirly, girly, rolly-poll,
I lie in bed every night,
The guilt seeps into my dreams,
Someday they'll catch you,
And I'll be waiting,
Gripping smoldering justice,
Like a loaded gun.
I'm eternally conflicted,
As she laid
warm as can be
she heard a creek
near her cheek
unbothered she remained
but fate would have a say
as the abhorrent man
touched her
the dissemination
I have never doubted the ability
of a womans rage, and
the floppy arc of a chosen mans
black leather belt
marring my skin with the days when
I was bad, but you were good
I have imagined his return
More times than I have missed him
More times than I can breathe
More times than my heart has beat
I can’t inhale the idea
Common Pain
The young woman traumatized
The events that guided taught her lessons about life
Rich in memories and lessons, while others are broke
Bleeding, crying and hiding.
Scared of the train that went past your house at exactly midnight,
but really just scared of everything.
You were supposed to run wild and build blanket forts.
It is two am- the limbo between morning and night-
and I have to be up in 5 hours max.
Can't sleep.
All I can think about is time travel
'cause I just watched a movie where they played with time
A tremble
Flick of the wrist and it is hidden
Deep seeded fear
Cropping up as a crippled beast
Broken child
Shaking slightly, hurt
Though it's been so long since the pain
Anxiety stirs my stomach like a lost ship at sea.
I have no control
which way the wind is blowing.
I'm alone.
You were mean it was kind.
they say its normal for a teenage girl to feel not at home in her body
it’s a great change in scenery
I never knew how to count before youThe day I met you you told me I didn't need to listen
My body is a temple.
You’re not invited in.
You’ve left me empty and broken, all from within.
My body is my home.
My safe zone.
You don’t know how you plucked my heart like a rose and it skipped a beat as you
whispered the sweetness of sonnets.
To forget would be a blessing,
to remember, a curse. Remember how he held my shoulders down
covered my screams with a sweaty palm, ripping
all pride from my body. I felt rage as he plunged through my body,
A gnashing cruelty and an
unfading whine like
A VCR spilled over with vase-water,
Keeps the shadowed part of me
Beating;
It is not a reflection of the
Upbringing that
My hands are like knives
And my flesh the meat
I carve my body
Aching in defeat
Again and again
Each slice is a blow
To the touch is a rush
I still wish to not know
They say that lightning never strikes in the same place twice,
But he’s always been a man of repetition.
The bruises on my neck have turned yellow and black
bodily betrayal
my fault
still inside me
years after the assault
complicated nonconsent
complicated discontent
wasn’t drugged
I’ve heard of guys like you my entire life
The type to dumpster dive
Instead of revive
There were times I wished I’d died
If I died, you would’ve taken everything
Including my voice
Anxiety
Lonliness
On gaurd all the time
Prayers
Exhaustion
Craziness
Incoherent cries
All cares taken away
I'm fine.
I do it all: clubs, sports, school.
Everyone loves me.
I am not afraid.
I no longer panic at archery meetings.
Don't feel fear when I see your name.
1. Your eyes look like the ocean,
Full of wonder and mystery,
And inviting me in,
I had to take a swim.
2. Your veins ran like rivers down your forearms,
I still eat peanut butter as if it fulfills all the categories in
the nutritional pyramid. It can be found in the cupboards of each place
I hang up my jacket and step in. What’s convenient about
You lay on your floor
wating
waiting
waiting for your phone to charge
It's dark
she's asleep at the foot of the bed
be quiet
I hang my hands over the edge of the bed
our fingers graze
Dear Trauma, my constant companion,
We got together ten years ago
it's hard to forget.
You help me, remind me to be careful.
Not to trust men who smile so kindly.
If I have you with me
she tried to walk near lampposts
believing that the light will protect her from being a prey
her glasses reflecting the light
creating shadows and within her mind
Abigail SullivanPart 1: A Letter to Cerebral Ameloid Angiopathy.
Out of nowhere, you chose my dad as a potential victim to interrogate.
Keep searching for the lyrics of a broken heart
But no words can really express the pain that I feel
No one will ever understand the life I have lived
So I am left here to write this myself.
The sunrays are beaming down, brightly illuminating the sky.
Sand keeps wiggling its way in between my toes
The waves keep swooshing and swishing
i.
he carved his name into my bones
with claws under which
my flesh festered.
no matter how long
i leave my bones to rot,
He is a monster.His mouth widens to reveal three rows of teeth, and he is covered with blood.My blood.Even though he is hidden in the shadows, his pale skin shines through,Blinding me.When he walks into the light, his demon black eyes shift into a
dear past, present, and future self,
you fall in love at thirteen
it is may and you are sick again
delicate and easy prey you are
but you pray
The first time you found me,
I was a little girl.
You told me I could trust you
and then you turned around and ruined me.
i was 17 the last i spoke with my father.
he came
home that tuesday night smelling toxic,
with the world giving away beneath his feet.
bloodshot pinball eyes, carrying
1000 unconfessed sins and
Time is a
soft and gentle mother,
who puts a steady hand on
the small of your broken back
and whispers, "It's time to
move on, sweetheart,"
and for once, you
can actually listen.
To you, I gave the world,
Yet to I, you saw no such need.
Under the worst of circumstances, we met,
I, being a mess bent on self-destruction, and you, a loner.
To you, I gave you my world,
To you, I gave the world,
Yet to I, you saw no such need.
Under the worst of circumstances, we met,
I, being a mess bent on self-destruction, and you, a loner.
To you, I gave you my world,
She was the child who shyed away from touch.
The child who hated eye contact.
She was a kid who'd perfected the art of
making excuses for school absences
and dodging questions.
here's to you, you knees on the ground, yes please, no thank you, wide eyed dreameryou thin-lipped, ruby-throated optimist, you girl in a dress that doesn't sit quite right on a staircase that feels too big
Being myself is so hard sometimes.
I am a muslim woman.
I am also a vietnamese woman.
I am a bisexual Vietnamese muslim woman.
I am part of the first generation in my family born outside of Vietnam.
as the woman who brought me into this world lay still in the bath tub , she moved, arms suspended in the water, ears just above the line.
I saw you,
Once in a dream, twice with a scream.
You stood there watching,
Praying.
Waiting.
I was there playing,
Singing, hoping.
Like fairies on a flower,
We danced on short legs,
Where do I run
And where do I hide?
Where do I go
So I don’t have to fight?
They tell me I’m wrong
But I’m so scared.
They tell me to face it,
But I am fear.
Why
Why was Life so hard?
Why was it so bleak?
How come Life was overjoyed
As it preyed upon the weak?
How did Satan reach us?
I just wanted to write and say,
In case you ever wonder or are filled with regret
or In case your heart decides
Stop.
Stop staring at my chiseled, perfect body
Like my blank, senseless face
Does not exist.
Look,
Deep within my black eyes,
There is life
And death
Like ying and yang.
Hello! I am new to this and this is my first poem. The grammar isn't perfect and I'm not sure if this was the best way to set it out but please give me feedback on what you think :-)
watching the rain fall
makes me vulnerable
every emotion i've ever felt
pours out of me
you
all of my emotions lead
back to you
joy
desolation
envy
lust
all at once
Children of God in the youth psych ward
walking like the dead
lights in the windows too high to reach
black pits in your stomach where you swear your Soul used to be
It was a happy place
rainbows sunshine colors toys
But now, it's far less -
It's a place filled with
formailties, correctiveness, commas...
And this was the breaking point.
You are the black hole of my being—
your cold, gnarled fingers squeeze and
twist and yank at me from the inside,
desperate to come out and shade
me with your wretchedness.
You are enigmatic; I have never
my dog lani
had a hernia on her stomach
she spent a lot of time crying
now she spends her time wreaking havoc
on our brand new carpet--and it's my dad who's crying
my dog lani
Jumping from rock to rock,Mama said I’d “lose my head”.Apparently writing wasn’t enough, then.I was young.
This dream,
it's haunting me
a horrible picture where you die.
For whatever reason
I can't shake it from my mind
flashbacks, leading to panic attacks
all because of that tragic night.
There are no tears in her eyes as she plays with her toys.
Her father and grandmother are holding onto each other's hands,
Sometimes stealing glances at the young girl.
I'm alone and can't sleepThere's no one here but meI'm stuck with all these memoriesIf they could only see
Click on the link and press play. Any feedback is appreciated :)
http://sessionsla.bandcamp.com/track/airway
There, a bloody knife in his handThere, he went from boy to manCrying, tears from the eyes in his headTraumatized from the blood he had shedHow his youth had gone so quickly
There are some things
I cannot say with words
So rather than write a poem
I'll pick up another face
Except this time,
When I sew it on
I'll leave a corner unstitched.
Timing freezes, muscles tense, lungs start gasping for every breath
The room starts spinning, the edges blur, hearts is running, running from death
My dreams are most vivid when I bolt
Awake staring at the ceiling where the stucco shoots
Constellations to my brain, just a telescope that won’t retract
Or react to the basic instincts meant to drive
I was twiddling a penny between my fingers,
My mind lost as I stared at the copper coin.
"Do you think of him now?"
Shifting eyes, tight throat, hiding my face as I watch the class make fun of a girl for sharing her issues about PTSD
The tears fall from her faceLike a river that never endsThe pain that she feelsClawing its way throughThey laugh and jokeNot seeing what it's doingTearing the hole bigger
They say that
when you experience
something traumatic
your mind can block it out
to protect you.
What if all of those
missing memories
from my childhood,
and teenage years,
There is something wrong with my insides
They are too still, too silent
The wind blows and my brain tries to compensate so it has become my skin, my shield
it complains
jesus it's cold
There is something wrong with my insides
They are too still, too silent
The wind blows and my brain tries to compensate so it has become my skin, my shield
it complains
jesus it's cold
Her condition is that she is a walking contradiction, for she is a soul burning with hot fire and coals born into the coldest winter ever.
She’s living in hell amongst demons yet some say she looks heavenly.
When I was young
My Daddy read me stories as I drifted to sleep
And I watched in awe
as the peaceful melody of words evolved into symphonic wonder;
a castle, a wish, a hope shone in my Daddy’s eyes.
There are no rules to the fight I fight.
There are some things the battle seems to want me to know.
Trust no one, not even yourself.
When people say they are there - don't ask for their help.
For too long, anxiety and depression have been the rulers of my life.
A ruthless king and his queen, with faces of iron and eyes of flame.
Trauma is the groom, waiting for PTSD, his soon-to-be wife.
You spent your early days in silence.
watching from the sidelines
but never really participating.
they threw those cruel words at you
through whispers behind your back.
with your small ears you caught them
