Burned Pages and Scattered Thoughts

I burn the pages

of my oldest notebooks,

erasing the ages

that have passed me by.

I remember the old days,

and cheerful jokes told

paired with a longing gaze,

and my calloused fingertips.

You caused this,

you caused it all to disappear

you brought all of this upon yourself,

all because you gave me reasons to have fear.

I want you gone

removed from my heart

this burning feeling

I don't know how to start

to rip you off my chest

and cut ties from my worries.

It hurts but I remember why

as my vision gets blurry.

I'm no longer scared

of the things that tore me away

from the ones that I loved

and the ones who swore they'd stay.

You caused all this havoc,

and as I look down,

I'm reminded why I need you

as the pool of red surrounds

my brand new shoes, they were white

I bought them yesterday.

They're a bit scuffed from my hike

and I want to go home.

You're not a part of me anymore

but you follow close behind,

following you is a trail of gore

the pieces useless to me.

I hope one day you'll be gone

and I'll be free from all of you,

but as for now I'll just run

and lace my fingers with another.

I love the people close to me,

they mean the world and more

It's almost as if I need

those parts I shed before.

I'll walk along these dirty paths

you'll creep along, following me.

And I remember those times I fell into a hole

caused by you, my anxiety.

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