outsider
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Fear breaks
The crack of dawn
Tossing, turning, yearning
Hardly ever learning
People and places
Pasts and problems
Things I’ll never have the answer—
Four
Years.
Do my steps weigh down
This island, and flood my home
In waves of guilt?
These frayed gaps tell me so.
Prayers force their way out of these pages
Who am I?
No one sees me
They glance shallowly, right through my existence.
Who am I? Who am I?
I exist utterly in solitude
My own mind a mystery; I can't comprehend
Unseen
Unheard
Dear outsider,
I've never seen you before,
perhaps because I'm blind.
Blind to the hidden beauty of the world.
Blind to potential.
Blind to unconventional people,
What do you do when your house doesn’t feel like home?
What do you do when you don’t connect with your family?
You sit stranded on your own little island pretending it’s alright.
But it isn’t.
I've been hurt more times than I can count
I've put a smile on my face when I was hurting the most to hide the pain.
But now but now it's too much to bare
I've kept my feelings inside so many times
We left when it was still light and returned when it was about night.
The moon hung in the sky with a dark cloud lampshade.
Less watts than a microwave, but the power never goes out.
I am the strange man.
The man that is a boy.
The boy that is a man.
I play words as a decoy, I refuse to write and wrong
with the same hands.
So I try to write as well as I can.
Please Note: There is a trigger warning for this poem.
As she covers her arms, she covers her whole world.
A world rooted in pain
With no gain
Of freedom from The Blade.
A man in bedLoneliness fills his heartThoughts consume his head.A buzz gives him a startGlancing over to his phonehe gets up only to fallquiet sobs emanate from he who is alone
