“Within & Without”
I see you from afar,
A distant blinking amidst the stars,
Clothed in the clouds of infant galaxies.
Infinitely far away,
Separated by a veil I cannot see through,
Cannot pierce or penetrate,
Yet from the moment of my conception,
We were destined to be inseparable.
I see you up close,
Magnified by decisive eyes.
Illuminated in the smallest grain of sand
Formed by the slow passing of time.
I peer through panes of glass
To see little worlds created by little gods.
You’re revealed in those tiny abstracts,
Those thoughts that have taken form.
I feel you on my skin;
Gone with an exalted breath,
Then inhaled again.
A fleeting flickering, tickling against flesh.
I feel you in my soul;
Twisting and turning,
I know what you’d say
If we stood face to face;
I’m killing myself
With the decisions I make.
I know what you’d tell them
If they’d only listen;
The same thing you’re telling me-
We’re consumed by insanity.
Now I hear what you’ve been saying,
Whispering gently since my infancy.
You only want one thing from me.
My temporal eternity.
My brief immortality.
The life that I covet,
Dedicate selfishly to myself.
A fiend defending my own depravity,
I am deceived
By a world that is not at all what it seems.
It’s not much to ask, you say.
I only want to take the pain away.
It’s a small price to pay.
And I know
But I ignore you anyway.
I can’t let you in.
I won’t let you stay.
Within me, you are the lover of my soul-
Untouchable, but never once letting me go.