I’m home right now and daddy’s at it again

Drinking into his normal haze

While he slips into his other phase

I’m hiding in the closet like I do every night

When daddy’s drunk and nothing’s right

Momma and him are at it again, starting the same old fight

Daddy raises his voice and puts her in such a fright

She walks away and mumbles something

And daddy’s temper rises over nothing

He grabs her and slams her into the walls

And I hear a thud as she falls

She tries to get up and get to the door

But daddy beats her back down to the floor

She cries for him to stop and I ask myself why

 

I hear my mommy crying

And I’m in my closet silently worrying

And then without warning daddy grabs his gun

And I hear my mommy try to run

But she’s too slow

And daddy throws a timer on her life with one simple blow

I hear a thud and pray my mommy’s okay

And I silently wish I could help in any kind of way

I think I hear my daddy yell my name

But the sound from the gun still echoes in my brain

Is it a crime, to wish that time

Could change and go back to when there were no fights

Throughout the various nights

 

“Oh god, please don’t let him find me!”

I go deeper into the closet where he can't see

Embracing the warm the dark seems to hold

Knowing the secrets of this house that need to be told

I close my eyes and hold back tears

Tears that I’ve held back for so many years

He continues his search

And my stomach starts to lurch

I hear things being clanged and banged

In his hectic search to find me

He bursts into the room I’m hiding in

And the air fills with the scent of devestating sin

 

I watch as he falls to his knees and says a prayer

A sight that is incredibly rare

And for a moment I catch a glimpse of the keen old father he used to be

And I remember the love he had for mother and me

He points the gun to his head

But I know this will not harm him for inside he had already been dead

He rests his finger on the trigger

And I close my eyes and let my mind linger

To the times we were happy and would sit around and hang

But I quickly snap back into reality when I hear a bang

 

I burst from the closet and run to the place where my mommy was lying

And I drape myself over her, while she’s slowly dying

She looks at me and holds my hand

And I knew nothing could ever make my heart mend

She gave me a rare and beautiful smile

One I haven’t seen in a while

She tells me to quit crying

That everything would be okay and to quit my worrying

She told me she loved me

And I felt the tears fall, making it hard to see

She took one last breath and closed her eyes to rest

And I buried my face into her chest

I began to cry my eyes out

As turn my face to the ceiling and begin to shout

Moments later the paramedics arrive

And I watch as they try to make her come alive

But it’s too late

I know she’s smiling down from those pearly white gates