What If?

I remember crying myself to sleep,

seeing no hope for the future.

If only Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother could see

the damage they inflict on me.

Why must it be this way?

Why must my innocence cause suffering?

 

Childhood trauma takes its toll;

as an adult, this she knows.

She has the family she’s always wanted,

but her past has come back to haunt.

A deranged mind sees no reason;

the mood swings come and go like seasons.

From depression to mania,

will there ever be normality?

I see her struggles,

I feel her pain.

But the truth is,

she’s still insane.

 

People talk of what they don’t understand;

I hear their judging voices within whispered conversations.

It is only a disorder that affects the mind,

but its nature has put me in a bind.

Either I go with the crowds and speak against,

or be criticized for my views on this.

There is no win, no matter where I turn,

but I choose courage, even when it burns.

I love her as the mother she still is,

no matter the trial, for we are family.

 

So I take this stand, not knowing the outcome,

but knowing that something must be done.

I speak and defend with all my might,

for I know words truly can impact.

 

What if we all look at ourselves?

All the faults, the mistakes, the things we’ve put on shelves?

What if we build up instead of breaking down,

considering those whose lives we destroy.

All the hate, all the hardship;

it can be avoided by a bitten lip.

These what ifs have endless potential,

but with incorrect use they can become consequential.

 

This is why I speak out;

not just for Mom, but for others like her.

Demi, Mariah, Ernest, Winston;

they all know what it’s like.

But it’s not just her and it’s not just them,

so why must we condemn?

 

What if we raise our voices against injustice?

What could we accomplish?

You may not believe it now, but soon you will see,

what greatness we can achieve.

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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