The way it was...


What is it? Why is it? How?
Lunar gone loony
That Jamacian wants bacon
My atlas is torn
and all I can do is watch some porn
and I slide---
Lookin' and creepin' in my own anxiety
Why does this shit get to me?
Like I say, keep the drama to your own 
You will only be further from your milestone.. 
Not my problem, oh yea... get that chair outta here..
Your talkin' and racking your emotions like those wet leaves
straight up throwin' them onto me... 
Punchin' n grabbin' at the bones
Sometimes I ramble and it comes out of pain
not meanin to be not behavin
better yet, get the tape, cover my mouth and take me in
Sickness keeps me from flyin'
all cause I was wearin that comatose mask
It has been over a year.. how is that!
My shields ripped off and I gotta be trippin
I cant even fucking listen!
Bring down the dawn
I need my charm, my protection
that way, there's no harm..
I sit at home and hours are tickin
your company is comfort
I am walkin this contradiction
my social inabilty gets the best of me..
All I know is what I learned from bein young
poppin pills niave in thinking I wouldnt have to feel the pain
This time is different
Im payin the ticket
This neck is in all knots like my brain and my house and my claims
It would be so easy just to go put that mask back on
but I think I will fight the war.. die tryin 
I may be smarter with all that witty banterand no glaze over my eyes
laughter is medicine 
but sadly just not the cure for these synapses that arent havin it
I look at the ground because my throughts are troubled
No, I never wanna bring shit down...
Im doin my best
Im perpetual bliss when Im not a mess of makeup 
just when I wake up from that terror of a dream
It's not me... It yesterdays match in the ring
where I got hit and smacked and did nothing back
Sleeps no savior and I can't handle all of this
Im not sure how many hours have to pass by
I need the strength
These pharms dont help
Often times I'm silently screamin
I love oxy moronic and quite ironic
Maybe I'll cry or laugh or hide
Twisted I be lifted to the sky
Oh hell, I just got so fuckin high
My hands are slippin
on that phone I'm grippin
Cant find the words
so clammy and cold, yet I still try to stay bold
My limps are rubber and you just passover
on what is tickin n  killin
Im tied....
I need all this music for my dying soul
hearts in too many places
Terified since the bandages keep coming off
My skin went along with it and I am bare
I left with this lump in my throat to the tips of my toes
Supposed to be makin some major life decisions
only been two weeks plz quit nicknakkin and smakkin
CNS all up in amok
God plz there's got to be some motivtion to get up 
I will just try to stop , think, and laugh that you want me to stay like this
It doesnt get easier and your older 
you should know better.....
Its over.. 
Advice dont take it 
If you are smart enough you already know
I'm no doctor, but I can't help to help
I love the vulerable so sweet and helpless
My mind still spinnin it links to the physical ill
I just can't get my will
There's acid burning and it is on my chakra
I sit frozen not knowin whether to be up or down
I wonder if I am hungry or not
I'm nervous n awkward and it just won't go away
Take me to the airport
help me away from this shady town with shady people
cunts who like liquor
bitches that walk like thunder
Do gooder hypocrites...
Out there I find... its a higher ground..
I'm ready, I'm vivid
I want your vision
I'll leave it all behind no joke
my heart will be sad a bit, but regression 
not my thing
Perfect exit
my bow it is in the ice cold
silence.... good bye zombie souls...


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