The Wall Of Me
I am a wall.
No matter how hard you try
you can not break through this wall.
My emotions are cinder blocks
and my thoughts are a tower.
But I shake inside my stronghold
Fearful of this lonely hour.
She walked up to me,
across the asphalt and
my empathy.
She asked me how iv been doing
and if iv gotten into trouble lately.
I say "I'm fine."
Then she said that shes missed me.
She wishes she saw me more.
But I'm on a power trip
to find that lost forgotten shore,
where the bright of day and the lack of light at night
are separated by the space wherein they cease to fight
otherwise known as
apathy.
I'm trying not to care.
And for a long time,
I have succeeded.
But eventually you find that a broken heart
is just what you needed.
I have put off my breaking for so long
that I'm more scotch tape then sinew
and less human then super glue.
In these hours I've spent alone
I've grown against my prison home
These bars bend and groan
around my heart of stone and broken bones
I spoke a tomb
Into being with a hollow tone
And it echoed off of the twighlight zone
of my soul.
The wall of me has a hole.
A chasm
Created by all the people I love.
When I lashed out at them.
I chased them all away.
Just to be strong.
I am a wall.
No matter how hard you try
you will not break through this wall.
Lonely days have turned into lonely nights
And I kneel before the end in sight,
Giving it my service.
She walked away from me.
Across the asphalt dragging away my apathy.
"Come back!"
I shouted to her.
But I spoke too quietly.