Suicide Is Not Painless


United States
41° 28' 44.7096" N, 82° 5' 42.648" W

Cast out from the world,
You wander through a dark forest.
The cold wind snaps and bites at your cheeks,
While your tears fuel the icy fire.
The bright white snow is the only thing that gives you light.

Through your clouded eyes,
You can see birds perched upon the tree branches.
But you dare not look closer.
You know that the birds will not sing anymore.

The moonless night gives no hope,
You feel even more alone.
The snow soaks into your skin,
Sending shivers up and down your spine.

You ponder to yourself how you got here.
Nothing you did should have made anyone mad,
Or hate you for that matter.
You did everything to get people to like you.

And yet, here you are,
Cold and alone.
No one to help you or to give a warm smile.
There is nothing that can save you.

You wander upon an icy river.
The new ice glistens with temptation.
It calls out to your already frozen body and mind.
You wonder how long it would take to be swept away,
Not to have to worry about anything anymore.

Feet, already numb,
Slip on the treacherous surface of the river.
“If only I had not been invisible to everyone.”
Your tears come out fast and hot,
Your body racks in pain.

Steadily moving to the center of the ice,
You pray to a God that you do not even believe in,
Just to give you the last bit of courage.
The last bit to crack the ice.

Snapping and popping can be felt under your feet.
Second thoughts start hitting you,
“What am I doing?”
But then you remember every single time,
Every time that you have been teased,
Emotionally beaten and been told that you are worthless.

Your mind is set.
Taking one last breath,
You stomp down on the thin ice.
It cracks and breaks away from underneath,
A quick yelp escapes your lips,
Before the frozen water encases you.

Instantly regret throws its way into your mind.
The only problem is there is no turning back.
You close your eyes and stop fighting,
Knowing that your fate is sealed.

A ray of light hits the ice.
It penetrates through and lightens the dark water.
A hand splashes down and reaches out to you.
Although, you have already lost the strength to reach back.
Your vision begins to black out,
It seems as if you became visible too late.

The hand grabs you and pulls you to the surface.
You are carried to the river bank,
Carefully set on top of a warm blanket.
You slowly open your eyes to see him.

The man you have only been able to dream of.
He found you and saved you from a watery demise.
“How… why did you come for me?”
He laughs and holds you tight.
“I always wanted to. But I was invisible to you.”

You cry into his chest.
A great weight is being lifted from your heart.
Finally you are not alone.
The world is being opened up for you.

Guide that inspired this poem: 



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