Stream of Consciousness
My dreams are most vivid when I bolt
Awake staring at the ceiling where the stucco shoots
Constellations to my brain, just a telescope that won’t retract
Or react to the basic instincts meant to drive
Me to paradise, but my vision’s too skewed to read maps and I’m falling
Off a bridge, where I just had to switch the radio station and lost
Control of the red line, my prophet, I tap your shoulder and we swim
Down toward a yellow light that surely indicates heaven, roles reverse
My car that’s still spinning underwater toward the mantle, it abandons
Us and we don’t mind because we’re finally at the great beyond seeking
Stability, but we’re almost home and our lungs feign
Mortal weakness, which is ridiculous because we’re invincible as we dance
Weightless intertwined with sunken dead roots, it’s so easy to believe
That this sensation of asphyxiation is all I need to breathe
Steady here in this bed, when I’m desperate because I’m just hunting
Down escape from all the blazing daggers she hurled last month, when we sang
A sad karaoke duet meant for people who care about each other and I lied
About feeling close in the embrace we knit that night, the darkness builds
Motes around my brain and peace can’t knock the drawbridge down from its hiding
Place, if it even exists, you see I forget what letting go resembles
In the mirror now that my face is shrouded by the red sheets that suffocate
My tear ducts, so I can’t even drain the stress so deeply compressed
In my chest where my heart engorges in fits until madness strangles
Consciousness, who ultimately wins the fight that’s been screaming
Between my ears for weeks at the stroke of the second hand, every hour burns
Me deeper til knives meet vessels and all the surges of blood coagulate
In clogs, making me a cog in the wheel that stopped turning
Long ago, on a planet where I used to flip my eyeballs backward and smile
Warmly like the morning sun that back then, I used to meet with surprise.