My selfish self wants to stand out and shine,

Like the glowing eyes from the roadside in the night

Making many folks alert of my existence.

Yet, all my life I’ve been watching from behind those dazzling bright eyes,

In the same somber bush everyone has past.

Waiting in anticipation to step out, counting to three, but always backing down.

 

I’ve had enough; my sanity has been lost, letting this build up inside me.

Watching you achieve, you’re always one step ahead.

But I don’t say a word

Because I’m the” nice” shy girl, it’s expected.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love you with all my heart.

You seem to always be there when I need to cry,

Consoling with sincerity, yet another thing you are better at.

Patiently listening to every word with a seemingly concerned face,

Keeping your distance, but embracing me at just the right time,

Offering your practical advice that I so helplessly take.

 

I have put in so much effort; I’ve gone through a lot.      

Of course it’s not as much as you.

Reflecting on all the struggles that you have so bravely fought,

 I feel my strength drop below sea level, I can’t even compare.

 

A little pat on the back would be nice,

But instead, I’ve slowly faded into the background,

Soon I won’t even be seen.

I can’t take it anymore, but we can’t go back to when you’ve hurt me the most,

Out doing my greatness with your excellence

 

I can’t be that beautiful flower girl, no one even considered me.

            At least I was invited…

That graceful dancer everyone raves about after attending every performance.

            I guess no one knows band concerts exist…

The athletic teammate who inspires younger classmates to achieve the impossible.

            I inspired my teammates to try their hardest, if I can do it anyone can… 

The class president, all powerful and mighty.

            Graduating in the top ten percent of my class of 650 students was easy…

The scholarship winner to the school of your dreams

            My scholarships aren’t as impressive…

 

That was the past, it can’t be fixed.

I want to shine,

but I belong in the depths of the bush’s branches.