Liar

I have one for him and for her

I have one for them and for us

I have one for you and for me

 

The lies they come

The lies they go

From here and there

They appear

 

Unlike most they didn’t start to protect me

They didn’t start to protect another

They didn’t start to get me out safely

They didn’t start to cover for anyone

They never started to deceive,

That is, anyone but me

 

You see, my lies

The ones I create over and over

The ones I craft with the anvil of my mind

The ones I repeat year after year

Month after month

Day after day

 

These ones, they were all built

To punish myself

To blame myself

To martyr myself

To deceive myself

 

The worst thing?

It worked

These lies I’ve wrapped

Tied

Fixed

Knotted

All around and throughout my identity

These are the ones that hurt the most

 

Who am I?

Well I’m Me

Who is me?

Me is I

It’s the cycle that has no exit

Because it has no beginning

 

I started this celtic knot

Ive wrapped these lies around who I am

In the End

Theres no one but me

And yet

I still have no answer

No definition

for Who is me?

 

Ive lied to myself about who I am

Ive lied to myself about how I act

Ive created this person

That I don’t know how to be

 

I am the one that tries their hardest

But in the next second lies on the floor in utter sloth

I am the one that ‘gets’ music

But in the next measure despise any chord

I am the one that excels in all

But in the next report be failing total’

I am the one that despises stereotypes

But in the next paper agree with that same pretentious author

 

I am the writer of my own story

Only ive not decided on a main character

I am the poet of this extended metaphor

Yet ive not decided on the subject

I am the painter of this masterpiece

Yet I have no canvas

I am the artist of this album

Only I don’t have an instrument

 

How can one Be

If there is no Me

I do it daily

 

In every lie I create another version of ‘me’

In every lie I force myself to accept who ‘I’ am

In every Lie I make myself into a more ‘whole’ person

In every lie I accumulate more and more of ‘Me’

In every lie to get away from those ‘labels’ I pile more and more on

In every lie I give myself I become more and more passionate

 

Passionate?

You must mean unstable

There is no passion anymore

You bring into yourself wat you do not have

You are the jack of all trades yet the master of none

You have no discipline

No self control

No set in stone

This is mw

You threw that all away when the lies started

Even after all that ‘learning’

To understand those who you are not

You still have to learn now because some of that applies to you

You need to learn how to act

You need to learn how to be

How that word acts

How that word is

That is how you’ve created this ‘Me’