dear past, present, and future self,

you fall in love at thirteen

it is may and you are sick again

delicate and easy prey you are

but you pray

you are lost

you are found

you are home

you are drowned

time comes to a standstill and

tensing up: fight or flight burns in your veins

you could feel this fleeting moment forever

for the world is a mess and you are part of

an unfortunate end

but you are more powerful than you think

than you know

then, you know

you paint and draw and talk and sing

it’s nothing at first and too painful, but

it is getting easier

and you are out of love and in love and

one hundred thousand different things

you are infinite emotions

you are radiating love

and you are love

and you are broken, but all the stronger for it

and you are sick and well and better than before

and you have fallen out of love with your sorrow

finding new love in yourself

new love in others

you are still recovering

but you wake up with a view of the world

so different than it once was

they say not to make homes of people,

but you have made a home of yourself