I was in love once.
I was so deep in love that 
I was consumed
By his .. being
His mind held me tighter than
His arms
His words hurt me more than
His fists
His love for me ran almost as deep
As the cuts on my wrists
But the only thing
I wanted to feel more than anything
More than any other pain in the world
The only type of pain that reminded me that
This was all real ..
All worth it ..
Was him.
And not just "he" but I mean 
"HIM".
I craved him.
Under the chokehold of prolonged infatuation
I couldn't leave,
I wouldn't even think about it because
When things weren't bad they
Were all good 
So good I forgot what the bad
Was even about
The hard times during the day didn't matter come the night because that's when
He loved me.
I know he did because
That's when he wasn't holding me by my neck
But he was grabbing me by my waist
He was no longer screaming in my face
But was humming lullabies of pleasure in my ear
He wouldn't be yelling how much he didn't need me
But instead he would be releasing long sighs filled with
Muffled words about how bad he wanted me
Throughout the night
He 
Loved
Me.
During the day he was the only man on top of the world
But when the sun set 
I would be the only woman on top of his world
I was in
Control.
His world,
Was my world,
And our worlds spun in fast then slow circles
Fast then slow
Fast then slow
Up then down
Up then down
Together
But if only for a couple of hours
Because nothing this good was bound to last forever.
Then we'd release.
Our passion will have poured from the petals of the flower to the root of
The stem
Then just like the night
Our love making would soon come to an
End.
The sun always knew just when to
Put me back into my place,
Remind me what it meant to live in reality,
Not in the moment.
The moon took my man's love away with it
And the birds sang outside the window only as a mockery to the happiness I was no longer about to have.
The love I was no longer going to feel.
I would no longer be on top of his world because
He would be in charge again.
All of the bad that we let go of while under the spell of a resurrected moon 
Would come back while the sun was alive and beaming.
The lullabies of pleasure would turn back into
Lyrics full of torment
Those sighs of desire turned back into
A huff full of hate
Those hands that grabbed at my waist turned back into
Fists that would almost but not ever quite reach my face.
But it was okay.
Because I was in love.
And as soon as the night came again,
The man who is now on top of the world
Would have me back on top of
His world
And I would be in charge.
My resentment of the daylight
Would fade into the shadow of my rocking silhouette
On the moonlit walls of our bedroom.
I was in love once.