April showers bring may flowers
But why should I cry in April?
I already cried during March.
Someone please listen to my words
Listen to my echoing screams
Listen to my apologies.
I lay curled up in the basement
Arms wrapped tightly around my knees,
Tear stains darkening my blue jeans,
And I shake begging "Please… Please… Please…"
But I am the only one home
So no one notices my pleas.
The concrete is cool underhand,
But the small piece of dog kibble
That I have grasped with my left foot
Is rough and grading even through
The sweet warm softness of my sock.
Explain to me why I clutch it?
Why do I grasp it with my toes?
Why do I cling to it so long?
Why does it matter to me now?
Because I am still crying now
Because I haven't done a thing
Because I cannot save a friend.
Don't die. Please don't die. Don't die please!
I beg but you do not hear me,
I cry but you do not see me,
I try to make up for lost time
But you no longer give a damn,
I told the teachers to try and help you
But to you it is only lies,
All of what I have done is lies
Because you don't care for the truth.
I wish you were safe, you were whole,
But you cannot bloom from nothing.
My tears cannot fertilize you.
You choose to live in a dessert
I cannot bring you rain showers.
I spent all of March shattering,
Losing myself in your demise,
I want to help! You won't let me.
So although it is proven that
April showers bring May flowers
They only do that if you wish,
If you want to bask in the sun,
But you, friend, don't want to go on
I'd water you every day
If you wanted to stay till May.
I would hear your screams and listen
Though you won't do the same for me.
Don't die. Please don't. Please forgive me.