I want to die.

It's been a while since I said that out loud

The screaming voices of the world have sworn me to secrecy

But it’s true.

I’m not afraid to say it

Not afraid to accept the inevitable

I suppose this is part of the problem

To breathe with lungs full of oil

Dripping from my lips like liquid sadness

Pouring from my eyes like the tears I used to know how to cry

Tears I used to care enough to cry.

Am I broken?

Is this the shell of a sunken ship?

Too deep to decompose,

The water is rising and I’m still stuck inside

Banging my fists at the hull

Scratching til blood to avoid the impending doom

Or am I a sailor whose soul was never saved

Drifting under tangles of seaweed like my hair in the morning

Don’t pretend that this is news

That I haven’t begged for a hand to pull me out

Or a life-preserver to keep me afloat

As always though, we turn away

Ignore the cries

Ignore the writings on the wall like the bullets in my fist

Cause at the end of the day it’s all in my head isn’t that right?