Grandma
Location
Thanksgiving break, my grandma comes with a handful of insults
"You're gonna balloon up," she said once. I said it was fine.
I thought I was fine, I brushed off crumbs of humiliation
but it was a grease stain, something I hate in myself
"You're gonna balloon up." floated in my head
I get the apps that tell me what to eat when
eat a tuna can, eat 5 cookies at 12 am
I want to take a shower but mirrors,
it taunts me with its metallic plate
my goals aren't healthy, I know
antidepressants are against me
losing a battle to have control
no control over myself
no control to be,
smaller.