Dear Aidoneus, Goddess of death!
Za, God of men!
Why must you sit on your ligneous chairs drenched in ichor?
And watch the masculinity you bore kill the light you swore to maintain?
You gave venom to a child once broken.
Breastfed its pink lips with the impurity, you cradled the demeanor.
I had to overhaul itself; flesh by flesh; in order to release the poison you left within my soul.
You created my manner, why? Just why have you chosen a child for a woman’s role?
Combing my hair slightly pretending to care for my oxygen.
Za! The strength you bestow on them, you made me weak.
To my knees I cried to you hoping my feminine scent wouldn’t lead you out.
You held me in your hands.
I was once in your hands.
A child before the light hit me.
Before you...hit me.
Now my journey is alter.
My fate changed.
Aidoneus humming in the trees of my forest, because you gave her my name.
She knew I wasn’t ready for her bells. Her dance.
You gave her my name. Frustrated you chanted to her song.
No means no.
Men are never right. You tricked me, yet a fox isn’t within your spirit.
You sabotaged the roots of value.
Within my skin, I bleed a different color.
Your brown fingers darkened the color.
And you knew my mother.
Used her summonings as glue between my teeth.
Swallow my perspective, because to you, it was delicious. A smile.
I was blinded by your voice, trusting.
Deaf to your lies, loving.
I was too new to the earth to realize the sins you skinned
My thin brown line-withdrawn.
You kept me scorned before before I was old enough to spell “help”.
Before I had any sense to pronounce “sorry”.
Aidoneus gifted me a new punishment.
Rumors licked her ear of how your ghost could never out-do what you’ve done.
I constantly suffer,
Split and wilted yet I still remember.
I still breathe, I want to hate you.
Za, the tree you created, I deforest In my mind.
Because of your creation, my chrysanthemums became insecure.
Timorous,I refused love because it was uncompatible to the mutilation you offer.
Battling with my own self inflicted definitions, I spit on your name.
It didn’t compare to the red you painted on the walls. My walls.
Za, their fists and their laws changed me.
Their laughs and desires pulled me apart.
Why must the victim get treatment?
Scar me crazy and impulsive because my behavior is insane.
Like my mane, I’m irrational, yet your men now boys are labeled as confused.
I learned...to cry to you.
But you sat on your chair.
You watched them make me lustful at the age where I needed to be innocent.
I was wrong. Defiled because you were curious.
I need relief, yet you hold out your hand.
Za! Look, he smiles as if he loves me.
And I take it, because it was for me.
Right? You created him for me?
A monster with yellow teeth.
Mine. It bit and I swallow my screams.
Aidoneus, I’m ready for your dance.
I watch, because he was my first.
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