i guess shes been my friend all my life.

though she was not always there,

she resided in shadows

waiting to pounce to

bestow her perfection

to

flood my mind with dust and bones...

oh she was just

dust ad bones.

she would rub her cold fingers along my spine and collar bone.

she squeezed the cellulite on my thighs and

she wrapped her thumb and forefinger around my wrist till they overlapped .

she scratched at my hip bones and sucked in my stomach

and every time i  touched a piece of food 

shed let out a blood curdling scream into my head but

oh lord, she was always there to comfort me...

she began by telling me how disgusting i was.

she sent bullies as messengers,

made machine guns of my fellow peers that blew holes in my chest o matter how hard i tried to duck

she morphed into a friend who said 

"you have thighs like an elephant on steroids."

then she started feeding off of me.

she stuck her hallow fangs into my wrists. 

she drained me of blood,

energy,

my lunch...

but she always went back into hiding at one point or another.

until the pills.

parts of her i every single one in the bottle.

$2 at a time going down my throat to silence my stomach

and put my body to sleep.

for the first time there was nothing in my way.

for the first time, bones could be a reality.

for the first time, there was light.

i could see an end

as i held hands with my best friend,

Ana.