Each breath I feel the army wanting to

push the barricade 

I swallow so much saliva it washes back 

the front line back into the sea from which they arose

They are fighters, no matter how hard I 

put up a resistance

Their target is to get as much as their men

Out to safety

Too bad safety is just a fall to their death,

into a bigger poll full of pain and misery and 

a double chocolate chip cookie.

It is not by chouce these men fight

Rather it was their commander that marched them

to their deaths

For my relationship with their leader has been muddied by

my self hate and harm 

I've done to them

The second line of offense is up and pushed even harder

To the point I cannot hold back the fleet

Then--

There I am again

Clutching my stomach

Ballooning my cheeks

And spewing a fight I couldn't win

Making a big pool of my pain and misery and

a double chocolate chip cookie.