The old wooden door creaked as it opened
And it reminded me of the sound of my bones.
While I watched you walk in
My knees shook, almost as much as my hands, as I listened to the only sound I could hear:
My own heartbeat.
Your stormy blues met my emerald greens
Followed by the haunting look that can only be shared by two past lovers
Who are still mourning the death of their love.
I tried not to follow you when you went back out of the door
But the one thing I’ve never been
Is strong enough to stop my legs from bringing me closer to you.
You leaned against your car
I stood four feet away with my arms crossed
But even in the cold October wind,
I still felt warm.
I also felt like I wanted to
But instead we stood there
Hands in pockets
Hearts in throats
Brains in scrambles
As we tried to think of something to say
Can’t fucking stand
A one armed hug and an awkward wave
Put a bullet in the life of that moment
I watched you drive away in a car
That still plays my favorite CD
And still has my jacket in the trunk.
I wonder if
You still sleep with the fan on because I’d get too hot.
You still think of me when it rains.
I used to think all I needed was you.
But now I know I was wrong.
I learned how to smash the spiders
And how to air up my tires.
I bought a stool to reach the tall things
And tissues to wipe up my tears about the small things.
I never needed you.
All I ever needed was me
I am the wind beneath my wings.
I am the light at the end of the tunnel.
I am the rainbow after the rain.
I am the breath of fresh air.
I deserve to be happy.
I deserve to be free.
All I need is me.