suicide attempt

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You tell me I'm too young Too young to date Too young to swear around As if hearing the word fuck would trigger a panic attack As if I don't know what the real world is like
snow white, petals of death tiny yet simple they call to her a whisper of sleep something to ease the tension her eyes flutter shut the bottle tips a milky orange caught in the faint light
I thought you were doing fine, I didn’t know what was wrong, I thought you'd push through it, that you were invincibly strong, As a friend I should have supported you, helped you along the way,
It was a sunny day The day I decided to die Grabbing fate by the wrist, telling her “no more. I’m done playing your rules” I smiled
This thing called life changes from good to bad. Where were the signs? I should have saw the signs. All my fears comingto life. Disbelieve is my heart, for the road i have to take there's longsuffering and malaise.
So finally, someone did it.  I've played this scenario out in my head, How it would be if someone died.  I always wanted to know how I'd react.  You didn't succeed, no,  Thank God, no.
Please hold my hand until it's over. I think you're obligated   because you know why I'm afraid. I had no warning, but I'm not mad. Just hold my hand for a minute please.   The fear washes over me like
Wake up at night   all I can see is your face   ten years and still not right   I wake up and think about   if someday in the void of bright white light  
  I've seen my mother cry twice-once when my dog died, and once when I tried to.
Bite me, you stupid son of a bitch, how could you do this, how could you bring me back, how can you question me, how can you shove me full of medication, how can you search me for cuts,
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