absent father
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Because you never learned how to love, I had to grow up believing you never loved me.
And maybe you did love me and had a terrible way of showing it.
I wonder if you wonder about me.
I wonder if my name gets stuck in your throat or if your hands shake on my birthday.
I came to this world
I found my self in the hands of a woman
My mother
She looked at me wth a smile
For in me she saw a blessing
My father ,my father
Where were you?
Thank you father for making me cry
saying I'm worthless and that I should die
Thank you father for making me sad
because now I love making folks glad
Thank you father for leaving me and mom
In my eighteen years of livingI’ve been taught the most valuable lessonPoetry has a soulIt’s nowhere near as dark as coalIt guided me toward self acceptanceSomething my shell of a father never couldMaybe it’s because he left when I was twoThat he
Still hiding away in Mom’s belly, but you left us both the day she told you the news. You knew you had a wife and two boys at home but you forgot them all to date some blonde.
Seeking a connection to you is like reaching out to grab the air.
As I fall down a 20 foot cliff.
-Where are you now?
Dear Father,
I guess you were the onewho was supposed to show me how this works.The ins and outs of love,living, learning, and putting my happiness first.
Dear Dad,
You were my most influential teacher
I learned when I was six
When given a choice between
A glass bottle and your daughter's hand
Dear Father,
Do you feel bothered?
Knowing you have another daughter?
I digress.
I shouldn't bother.
I never really called you father.
Dearest Dad,
Do you feel sad?
At the age of 3, her world was shattered.
Just why would a father leave so early?
Why would he quit already?
Well, maybe he had his reasons.
But just what could be enough to make him leave?
When I was little, you were the best.
I remember how we used to sing karaoke before bed.
When I was little, we always played Crash Bandicoot.
To the man who calls himself a father
Hello dad…
Or Mr. Anonymous if you will
I would simply love to know
Where have you been
He's long goneEven though i waited patiently for himAlthough i am bitter, andRightfully so, i still wonder.
F-A-T-H-E-R
I wish I could define this term
I wish I knew what it was like to have one
I wish I could save up my money and buy one
I don't even know what I would do with one
He used to have a well paying job
as a police officer
but
he was introduced to
his worst nightmare
Alcohol.
He became an alcoholic
and soon lost his job
and his wife
Dear dad,
To this very day,
There is so much to say,
Pen to paper,
No ink,
Please don't go away.
Dear dad,
Each step means no less,
It matters not to me,
You are the aching breaths
The struggling steps i’ve taken to the healing powers in tomorrow
Tears marked with death
You no longer have control over my sorrows
I was still a child when you took your lies,
And slid them between my fourth and fifth ribs.
I cried that night,
And for the first time I didn’t wish you were there to hold me.
I still see echoes of you,
How are you okay with missing her fifteenth birthday?
How can you move forward knowing you're not playing the role in her life anymore?
How can you hate her so much to leave and never come back?
To be a bastard is to be fatherless
To be a bastard is to have a father in Heaven
To be a bastard is to be without the Father in Heaven
Dear Absent Fathers
I waited for you in the windowsill
Elbows bruised purple from holding my hopes up but you never pulled into the driveway to save me
and
Ya see black brothas
always tryin to be trap brothas/or rap brothas
Why don’t you wrap brotha
Bussin out babies like morning sickness
This continuous cycle is more than a sickness
As I sit on my bed bored while thinking and wondering
why my father has deserted and alienated me.
The one that’s supposed to be his little girl,
and he doesn’t even try to have me in his world.
In the summer, I dreamt of Styrofoam cups raining in my sleep.
I’d wake under my sheets, buried under the humidity.
Nervously, I would speak:
I am still here I would say in the dark
No one ever answered,
