vulnerable
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It took me a long time to realize that we all have things in our pasts that we are not proud of,
But in a strange way, maybe these hard times are actually gifts that are sent from above.
When the heart is unaware
Of the hurting whimpers of despair
The nasty wails don't come out loud
But manage to get suppressed in a shroud
‘Temper your enthusiasm,’
She said,
‘The extremes of your reactions;
You should have
A more conventional frame
On which to hang
Your unconventionality.’
‘Don’t push people,’
She said,
I see death taking a toll on my shoulders
The darkness overflows and my flesh starts to feel colder
I can feel myself fade away
I notice that everything around me remains the same
This is our last chance to grieve
Dear Lord, I was only thirteen
The host of trepidation freshly forgot,
You coerced forgiveness from fester and rot
I was terrified to fall for you,
I saw so much radiance and more beauty than I have ever seen in myself.
Everyone gets bored of me, but you were fascinated
And you caught me.
A man once had this beautiful and alluring women named Ebony.
She possessed the minds of every mans dream, every mans desire.
He began to pursue her before his time expires.
He won his prize,
I want to curl my pain inside his core
But I'm told I need to find myself before
Just beacuse that is how you spell love
G.I.V.E.
But becasue I'm scared to lose
My shield completley and
Growing up your my main inspiration,
I gave you hardship and lots of frustrations,
But you’ve always been there when I needed some love,
Arms spread open hugging me like a glove,
Love can make us do stupid crazy things,
Things that never in a million years you thought would do.
Things you regret doing.
However, at the time it does not occur to us how our actions ruins us on the inside
I remember.
It started when I was five years old.
Young, but never got to be.
Not five years old, not six, not seven, eight or nine.
TEN years to hold such a secret,
until I could no longer keep it.
So sickly.
Someone with such a heart
Ready to do...anything.
And Everything. To get ahead.
Destroy their friend for the drug called.
Ambition.
Fear of losing to others
In turn. Losing
Alexis. That is my name.
Many know it.
Few get to know me past it.
Shy, quiet, smart is all they see.
Though one cannot blame them.
Those three are all they are allowed to percieve.
There a a series of Masks
They come in many forms:
from smiles and laughter
from contempt and scorn.
I hide behind many
but not enough.
I use them to keep away from others
to save my heart.
Why did I do this;how could I let myself go?I'm not the samegirlthey knew a year ago.I may have cutall of the strings
I fear them knowing who I am.
I fear the day when I am no longer able to keep up the facade.
I fear that the real me will never be good enough.
I fear the judgements.
I fear the abuse.
I fear the critism.
The day I met him, he had my heart.Then everytime I saw him it was like it was going to beat out of my chest.Shortly after knowing him I was ready to give him the restAnd no. I don't mean sex.
I am tall
I am short
I am fat
I am skinny
I am depressed
I am black
I am white
I am foreign
I am bald
I am rich
I am poor
I am strong
I am weak
If I pull back the curtain
Will my mask then accept the form of mannequins
Perfectly styled and positioned
Only showing the best I can offer?
Will my true self remain hidden in the shadows
I am the beast
The one you look at and instantly know is freak
I am the beast
The one you say is so weak
I am the beast
The one who aches in the corner trickling tears like the rain falls
This is as quiet as it gets
So please don’t break this silence
Just hush down and fall asleep
I promise not to make a sound so you don’t wake
This moment is the calming before the storm
Roses are redish,
Violets are blueish,
If it wasnt for Christmas,
We would all be Jewish
I speak on fear, depression, and realization.
Success to me only comes when all three of these things plays together as one.
The battle is all within yourself and will always be.
See I've given up on love but somehow I still had faith in you, I believed In every word you said and foolishly thought they were true,
See I've given up on love but somehow I still had faith in you, I believed In every word you said and foolishly thought they were true,
I shun this part right here
Waking in the middle of night battered heart
All we do is live in this perpetual fear
Again and again I try to avoid this part right here
You wrote the thesaurus in which I am a synonym for worthless, and an antonym for perfect.You wrote the dictionary with my name defining the word ugly, and used me in a sentence to exemplify the adjective disgusting.
Lost in another compilation of complications.
A group of her friends worsened the situation.
I can't take this nonsense anymore I'm walking out the door.
I'm not leaving you but I'm leaving this relationship.
Here I lay on my bed
A pillow is under my head
My room is dark and silent
A paper moves, so pops open my eyelids
Its early morning
Late night
Sleep is nowhere in sight
SLAP!
I didn't mean to upset you I'm sorry
I don't know why I always have to ask so many questions.
SHOVE!
Down the stairs I'm falling
I wish to cut away my flesh.I don't hate myself.I just hate this skin,Weak and bloody thin!If only
Did you see that? That, there.
That lady is staring at me.
She keeps looking over here.
Do I have a booger in my nose?
Is my receding hairline showing?
Twenty years old with a receding hairline.
If i had the courage to tell you how i feel then you might fall for me
if i had the stregnth to hold our relationship then maybe we would know what love is
If i could see how much you dont care then i might just move on
He's beautiful isn't he? From his brows to his perfect bow lips. I can't stop staring. His name says the very thing no one can live without. For he is something I can not live without. He is the air that fills my lungs.
She grows in a special pot.Made of wires and fear.Commonly broken and torn through.But always put back in her place.She's cared for and dusted,Her eyes behind the glass box,Sees a world she can never touch,And a world that will never touch her.Sh
Is this wrong
Or is it right
This word love
It evokes a thunder within my heart
A freezing rush of painful memories
Gliding gently across the lens of sight
Some where it happened in these memories
The thick white
The sky has no light
The smell of soil
And weeds
And my barefeet,
Let me breathe.
This sundress
Is too thin to cover me.
Where are you God?
I’m afraid they’ll see
Johnny T. loves Lucy C.
Her 'About Me' on Facebook has his head spinning
Despite their corresponding class schedules
They have never had a conversation
Outside of the comfort of cyberspace
Remember
When things weren't so complicated
When words weren't hidden meanings
And we were raw human beings?
When "I love you" meant
I love you
and "I do" meant "I do"
