unhappy
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When you feel that your feelings are so heavy and want to write but can’t find the words then you’ll know me
When we tell you we are suicidal, it can be a cry for help,
But that’s not a sign of weakness,
This is not a sign of weakness.
This is saying we’re fighting,
Everyone talks about depression as if they know it.
But what they don’t know is that depression is a hooded figure standing just outside of a wooden doorway,
With each word you speak,
I bend away.
Away from the contact.
away from the pain.
I've bent so much.
I might just break.
I might just snap.
Pray for my sake.
With each word you speak,
Oh, at long last,
I’ve found you,
Although, the news
Ain’t so good,
Seems you found love…
You seem happy,
And so fulfilled
But did I think that,
You’d be lonely,
I still listen to all the songs you told me about. It's like the only piece of you I have left. They bring back bittersweet sadness. In myself, I've found some of you.
I'm the cold air that you breath
The heat of hell beneath your feet
Now I'm here and then I'm there
I was your happiness but now I'm despair
From a racing car at the dawn of life
One peron's Heaven
Can be another's Hell
And truthfully I say I hurt
I shudder
I weep
Is something wrong with me?
How unfair must it be
That I am unhappy
i'm sick
i'm scared
i'm rotting inside
i'm crying for help
but i'm mute
i don't have the answers
that we both need.
The rose that is weak and witheredIt falls and sulks and shrinksAfter rain, it drags itself to the sunAnd the rose flourishes vibrantly The rose that returns every yearIt has been through dark, harsh weatherIt survives the many beasts who try to
I think you cannot claim every person on your soil
If you only want ones undefeated by their toil
Some of them collapsed under your burden
Some of them used to think they were important
Measuring your ability to fail
Failing to conquer your fears
Fears that consume you
You are breathless, speechless, lifeless
Lifeless for a lifetime
As day turns into night,I start to lose my might,And even though I try,That doesn't mean I like to lie.
I'll always still fall,And I'll never stand tall.These words may hurt,As if I fell in the dirt.
Plunging into the abyss
Of your pretend security,
Blanketing the truth
Of your own pain,
From me.
I handed you just myself,
My soul,
My heart.
And you trampled it
Like an egg.
the weather is dreary, branches sway in the chilling wind bare, their leaves have been stripped away just like my optimism. The hazy skies are as dim and dull as my attitude. The faint streak of positivity still lingers on my lips the words could
Christmas Lights, Whose power so bright. But not brighter than the grimaces hung from every face in sight. Joyous music fills the air, Holiday decorations fashioned everywhere. But not a holiday spirit can be found, not here, nor there.
Now that the darkness is gone
You're coming back to me
You kept me in prison
But now you're setting me free
Life changes and everything about me is new.But there's one thing that's always stayed the same...I still hate myself the same as yesterday,and I still think of death like it's unavoidable.
My eyes are sore
I imagine the red rims
where all the thoughts swim
and melt into a dream right before me
And ignore me, the very part that i've buried
with the ribbons and the bows and the fury
Neglect–ed
Ringed out with blood and stretch marks.
Wrinkles written in between the crevices of my eyes.
They sting and burn. Fighting, fighting, and falling.
I kept falling. I failed.
I envy those with amnesia
Wouldn't you if you need to forget the people who don't need ya?
I wish I could--I'd do anything for a memory pill
Overdose to forget those who didn't love you and never will
And I tried not caring
But this shit doesn't work.
Everytime I think about it, it hurts.
And it hurts worse
That you don't even care
I imagined life is game where players play fair
The rain. The rain.
My bare feet on the cold wet ground.
I stare across the vast expanse which is my city.
The trees. The houses. The lights. The cars.
As the rain falls, my world seems to go in slow motion.
I light a cigarette again
staring at your pillow where you're supposed to be sleeping
instead you're gone and smoke surrounds me
i'm breathing.
I know, I know that I'm never right
you told me.
I hear the laughing
I hear the cry's
People were clapping,
for the one who wanted suicide.
I should have stood up,
I should have spoke out.
It's all my fault, this person is no where about.
I come to school ready to learn wishing this day could be adjourned,
I'm tired from the day before, a long workout which left me sore.
My teacher is here, why not a sub? She aggravates us all, treats us like scrubs.
To smell the earth around me,
pressed against my face,
To have my soul unchained,
from this earthly place,
To awaken in a world,
where I am finally free,
of body, mind, and soul,
Social society deems me imperfect – just another product went defective
I try to ignore the pressure but the cover of the magazine holds me captive
Yet here we are in our Photoshop world with our newly made disguise
We all face our own demons
We all battle it through
Why is mine still here?
Oh No...
Is this mine
My premium punishment
This is why i can’t move on
Why my hurt
Just when I feel that our relationship has prevailed
You pull away and remind me why we've never been strong
Not even enough to withstand the falls
And never to rise
You rekindle the fire that burns my heart
The youngest of six
The quiet child
The perfect daughter
The one who does everything right
She sits back in silence as she watches the fights
Hears the arguments
Listens to the cries
It's been 6 years; but I still remember the day
Where all my trust in you was lost; "My Father", the role you were supposed to play
Overjoyed, I finally had a dad at age seven
Fear is the black void that overcomes the world around you at an unexpected time
It smells like the stale coldness of an extremely cold winter night
Mirrors are everywhere. Everywhere a different face looks out at me. Which one is mine? I have become so absorbed into trying to be the person everyone wants, I lost faith in myself. I lost myself.
